I Think I Could Like You
by Periwinkle Pink
Summary: A simple story about the Marriage Law and how two people forced into it, learn to know each other and more about their own selves.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I opened my eyes and saw a lilac colored ceiling. I blinked once trying to remember where I was. Wasn't I supposed to be in a forest or somewhere else? Where were Harry and Ron? I suddenly sit up, alarmed and look around the room and realize that I am at my home. Relief floods me and I fall back on my pillow.

The war has ended. Kingsley is the Minister of Magic. Harry has been approached to join the ministry as an Auror. Ron has decided to join George to help with the shop. Although the N.E.W.T had not been conducted this year, the Ministry accepted to provide the students with their certificates due to the contribution to the war. Neville had decided to go on a tour of the world to explore the different plants. As for me, the first thing I had done after the war apart from helping rebuild the castle at Hogwarts, was to try and find my parents. Harry and Ron had helped. After two weeks of fruitless searching, Harry had finally managed to find them. For once, I was not so happy that my spells work so well. After a lot of trouble, spells and convincing, I finally got my parents back and we returned to our home. My parents had returned to their profession and I had decided to decline my certificate and return to school. My father had supported my decision to formally complete my education.

I had told my parents about the war, but had maintained to keep quiet about the gruesome details. They didn't need to know about all that. The few times that I had screamed at night when I had had the dreams of being tortured by Bellatrix, my mother had asked me about the dreams and I had meekly told her it was just the fear of the battle.

I got up and got dressed. Walking into our kitchen I found my parents eating their breakfast, ready to go to the clinic.

"Good morning mom, good morning dad." I pecked them on their cheeks. Finding my parents was like finding my life back. I got myself toast and eggs and was just about to eat when there was a knock on the kitchen window. I looked up to find an owl and walked up to the window and let it in. It dropped two set of letters and flew away. I picked them up and walked back towards the table.

"What is it, honey?" my dad looked up from the paper that he was reading.

I looked at the first and realized that it was from Hogwarts. "School, Dad." I replied distracted by the official looking second letter. "I had written to professor McGonagall about returning to school, school term is approaching, so I guess it's about that."

I opened the first letter and read.

Miss Hermione Granger,

It is my pleasure to inform you that your request has been accepted. You will find your school list enclosed with the letter. We will look forward to see you on the 1st of September.

Minerva McGonagall

I checked the letter and found the list of all the books required. I opened the next letter and started reading.

Miss Granger

As you are aware, the war has resulted in an all time low in the population of our kind. Due to which the Ministry has decided to revive the Marriage Law. According to the law all wizards and witches from the ages of 17 to 50, who are single, will have till the end of September to ceremonize their wedding and a year after that to have their first child. All those who are engaged shall have to inform the ministry by the end of this month. All others will be informed about their pairs, which will be selected by means of a comprehensive analysis based on both their personalities, by the 5th of the next month.

We wish you all the best.

The Department of Magical Law Enforcement

I read and re-read the letter again and again, my mind going numb. I hardly registered my mother calling me. It was only when she shook me that I realized that both my parents were staring at me, worried.

"Is everything okay, Hermione?" my dad looked really worried.

I looked down at the parchment in my hand. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I had helped win a war. I couldn't let this shake me up like that. I looked up at my mother.

"It's from the Ministry. It is to inform us, those who are of age and single that we need to be married by the end of September. We can inform them if we are engaged. If not, then they find a match for us and we will have to comply."

"What? But, why?"

"The wizarding population is low after the war. This is a method to revive it." My parents did not look convinced. I had to explain them better. I had read about it, it just hadn't struck me that we could be facing it now. I had been far too busy with other things. "It is a method to make sure that our population does not decline beyond a certain number. It is not the first time that this law has been applied. On the contrary, it has been applied numerous times." I looked at them. They still did not seem too sure about it. "It is not something that we can do about. The names are usually selected by a method very similarly to that of the triwizard tournament. So, all those who are selected as pairs will be compelled to marry."

I chanced a glance at them. "Mom, Dad, its okay. I survived a war being on run for an entire year from one of the most evil wizards of all times. I'll be fine." I really hoped that that was true.

I returned to my room after a few minutes when my parents were off to their clinics, still a little worried. My father was really worried how I would manage my last year at school, along with being married and bring a child. He was not wrong in being worried about it. It wasn't as if I was not worried about it too. But there were other things on my mind. And I was sure my mother was worried about the same thing as me. It was the only thing that was going through my mind right now. Who would I marry?

After the war, my and Ron's relation had not exactly deteriorated, but we both had realized that we were better off as friends. We were closer than before but not romantically and now I was thinking if it was possible to take him as something more. Or else it would be leaving it to the Ministry to find my pair. Frankly, that was not something that I was excited about.

That day all I could do was sit in my room and think about what to do. Either I had to inform the ministry about my choice or leave it on my fate. And presently, it was not something I could rely on. Fate was not exactly proving to be my best friend.

After pondering over it for the entire day, I decided to go down to Diagon Alley and wrote a letter to Ron asking him to meet me at The Leaky Cauldron at noon the next day. It was at least worth a try.

The next morning I got up early. I hadn't been able to sleep well. Then again which girl at the age of 18 would be able to sleep if she was told she had to marry someone in a month's time? Not only that, a year to have a baby. Great, that would mean, I would definitely have to be pregnant when I would be giving my N.E.W.T. Not a very cheering thought either. So much for being a war hero and the brains of the Golden Trio.

I brushed and cleaned up. Pulling up my jeans and a t shirt, I ran down stairs to get some breakfast. I would then leave the house and apparate to Diagon Alley. I found mom and dad talking. Upon seeing me they wished me morning and went back to their conversation. I hardly paid any attention, my mind far away on what I would say to Ron and how that would go. So I hardly noticed when my dad walked out of the room. My mom turned to look at me. "Hermione? Have you thought about what to tell Ron? I know, you two are no longer together but wouldn't it be better with someone you know than let the Ministry choose. Your father and I are really worried, especially since we can't do anything about it. At least you know Ron."

I looked up from my breakfast. I should have known. I had told my mother about Ron. She would obviously be worried about who would be paired with me. If it was Ron, she would at least know that the boy was decent and he was the only one she knew well about apart from Harry. He would obviously inform the Ministry about Ginny.

"Yeah, I'm meeting him at Diagon Alley today. But please mom, don't start it again." I told her before she could say anything. "Look, I know you and dad are worried. I won't deny I'm not, but let's not just get worked up, okay? It's not like I'll be paired with a Death Eater, they are at Azkaban. And i don't think tey'll consider the ones on the run for such a cause. And more of all I think, I have at least made enough mark in the ministry that they would actually pay a little heed to who they would pair me up with. I have at least gained that much over the last seven years in that world." I smiled at her and looked up at the clock to realize I was already running late. I quickly finished my breakfast and got up. "See you later mom." I said giving a peck on her cheeks and ran towards the stairs. I met my dad there and after a peck and a "be safe" from him, I got my wand and moved out of my home and apparated to Diagon alley.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The change was visible. The last time I was here before my sixth year half the shops were closed, people would walk in clusters and hardly wait on the sidewalks, apparating away as soon as their shopping was complete. Now the Alley was bustling with life again. First years, seeming all excited about their new possessions, the other students buying things from their list for the new term. I had to meet with a lot of staring and pointing out. I definitely understood how Harry felt all these years. A lot of them would come up and shake my hand and talk.

After about twenty minutes of hellos and 'how are you' and what not, I finally entered Gringotts and made my way towards my vault. A few of us had been paid by the ministry for our contribution towards the war and then rebuilding our society. I was not exactly in favor of being paid but at least this meant that now I didn't have to be dependent on my parents for my things in this world.

Exiting Gringotts, I made my way to Flourish and Blotts and found Ginny and Harry bickering over something.

"Hey guys", I said approaching them. Ginny immediately pulled me into a hug. It was only when she let go that Harry could come and hug me swiftly. "What's going on?" I asked them, handing over my list to a shop attendant who seemed only too happy to help us.

'Harry wants to pay for my books", Ginny replied even before Harry had the chance to open his mouth. "We can afford now, you know? Things are not as bad as before." she said looking at me.

"We are getting married in a month Ginny. And I can take your responsibility."

"So you informed the Ministry?" I asked, all of us walking towards the counter to pay for our books.

"Yes. Harry owled yesterday. He also informed them of our date. We are planning on the 19th, since it's a Saturday, we'll get a day off after that, and I will also have to return for the classes after that."

"Where are you doing it?" I asked, paying for the books.

"Harry wants it within the school grounds. He says that he feels at home there. Also, so that I won't have to leave school during the term." Harry meanwhile had paid for the books and smiled at me. Ginny had not noticed that.

"So, what are you doing?" Harry asked.

I knew what he was talking about. Ron was sure to tell him, and if he knew, Ginny would too.

"I am meeting Ron today for lunch, though I don't think it's going to change anything."

"What if it doesn't work?" I looked up at Harry. I know he was worried about me, but sometimes you can't fight everything.

I looked into his eyes and tried to smile as I said "Then I'll have to wait and see which brainless git I'll have to spend my life with." Although I did manage to smile a little, yet that definitely did hurt and shot up the panic a few notches higher.

We walked along Diagon alley buying other requirements from the list and catching up. Finally after getting everything required I looked at my watch. Realizing that it was almost time to meet Ron, I said my goodbyes and walked towards The Leaky Cauldron. Tom, realizing it was me, went ecstatic and led to one of the secluded booths. After about five minutes Ron walked in. I could not resist the smile that spread across my face. I got up and gave him a hug. "Hey."

"Hey. How are your parents?" he asked taking the seat opposite to mine.

"Yeah, they are good. How is George?"

"He's trying. Keeps himself at the edge all day. But I'm not sure about the nights. I know the void is too big to fill. But I'm hoping that Angelina will be able to help him a bit."

"So he's marrying Angelina?" I asked staring at the plate of pot pie which Tom had placed on our table.

"Yeah, he asked her after receiving the letter and she accepted." Ron too was fiddling with his food. "What are you doing?" he asked, finally looking up at me.

"I don't know. I …" I really didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"I know. I have been thinking of the same thing. I know it's really awkward with what happened, but do you think…?"

He didn't really need to finish the sentence. "No." I replied, exasperated. Seeing Ron sitting in front of me just confirmed my fears. We were not ready to be together. "Do you have anybody in mind?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer, probably because I was desperately hoping not to hear Lavender's name. I know it was a baseless thought but I couldn't let go of the feelings I had back in our sixth year. "No." he was smiling for some reason and staring at me.

"What?"

"You were thinking of Lavender." He replied, trying not to laugh too hard.

"No I wasn't!" I couldn't have been that obvious and since when did Ron learn to read my expressions.

"Don't lie Hermione. It was written all over your face." He was giggling now and I couldn't help but smile. "Shut up Ronald."

We ate in silence for sometime after that. It was only when the deserts arrived that Ron spoke again.

"Hermione, I know we have been together for a long time. I also know we realized where we stand but I care about you. I always have. Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"You were my safe haven, Ron. You still are. But after the war I realized I need to live on the edge. That is who I am. People would think I should have some stability after all this, but the monotony of life is not for me. I need to be constantly challenged and by letting it go for this matter in a way I am accepting a challenge. I don't know who I am going to be paired up with, but that is what will keep me trying, always."

He reached up and squeezed my hand. "I know. I just don't want you hurt in any way."

We talked about random things after that. And after a while I returned home and he went to help George with the shop.

On 1st of September I arrived at platform 93/4 to find the Weasleys and Harry already there. On seeing me, Ron came up and offered to help me with my trunk. After it was pulled up by Harry and Ron, I made my way to talk to Mrs. Weasley. She immediately pulled me into one of her traditional hugs.

"Oh, Hermione! I was so hoping to see you as a part of our family one day but-"

"Mom, we already discussed this." Ron had walked up to us.

"I am so sorry dear," she said looking at me, "I know I shouldn't talk about it. But please know that you are as much my child as Harry or Ron."

"It's okay Mrs. Weasley. You mean a lot to me too. You helped me when my parents weren't here and nothing in this world will change that." I assured her. It was true. Maybe now I wouldn't lawfully be a part of this family, but it still meant to me as much.

The whistle blowed and we boarded the train. I looked at Ron and Harry. "I'll miss you guys." I had never travelled to Hogwarts without them. It was a strange feeling.

"We'll miss you too. But don't worry; we are going to meet soon."Ron replies and winked. Of course Harry and Ginny's wedding. I smiled and waved at them as long as I could see them. It felt childish but I couldn't help it. After the train left the platform, me and Ginny went and found a compartment along with Luna. She still had the dreamy look in her eyes. She looked up at us and smiled, "Hello." She said in her usual dreamy voice. Ginny and I sat at the opposite seat and murmured our responses.

"How is your father?" I asked. Her father and her house were after all attacked thanks to us, although we should thank him for telling us about the hallows. At least one of their beliefs turned out to be true, although I wouldn't say that completely. It had some logic which they refused to see.

"He's good. He has completed renovating our home. We are hoping the wackspurts return to our garden now."

The rest of the ride was usual if we could call the heightened curiosity of the first years, the fact that everyone was returning after the war and decided to catch up, as usual. I was unfortunately a major attraction. I was starting to realize that with Harry and Ron's absence I was probably about to take his place this year.

Ginny and I talked about her plans for her wedding, which Harry had insisted on making as simple as possible. The last year had definitely humbled him. He did not want any unnecessary and unwanted attention because he knew his marriage was going to be major news. Different variations of the story had already appeared on the Daily Prophet. Ginny said that one of the other reasons for Harry choosing Hogwarts as the venue was that reporters could not swarm the grounds.

"Did you think anything about your wedding?"

"No." I replied. It was true. I was more concerned about the faceless blob that I had seen two nights ago in my dream. One needed to know the person to think about a wedding, and right now I was too worried about whom that would be.

"I know it's no use thinking about it unless you know your pair. But I really wonder why you didn't take the decision yourself? You could ask anybody and they would gladly say yes."

"That is exactly the reason, Ginny. I did not want people to say yes because it was me, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter's friend, the girl who helped to bring Voldemort down. I want someone who would accept me just for me. And this way at least whoever I am paired with, will be that to some extent. He will have to take me not because I am famous now but because we will be meant to be together."

Hogsmead station was exactly how we remembered from our first year. But what was more pleasing was watching Hagrid call out to all the first years for their traditional arrival via the lake. Me Ginny, Luna and Susan Bones found a carriage and boarded it. The fact that many of us could see the thestrals was a constant reminder of all the lives that were lost in front of our very eyes. But as the castle loomed into view, all other thoughts were forgotten for a moment, because it looked absolutely untouched. It was the same as ever. No one would believe a few months ago this was the centre of the waging war.

The Great Hall looked wonderful. Luna drifted off towards Ravenclaw and me and Ginny found us seats at our table. I looked around the happy smiling faces and thought how this place looked that day, with Harry and Voldemort encircling each other.

The sorting started and the excited looking first years were slowly sorted into the four houses. After the completion of the sorting, the feast started. The house elves had surely outdone themselves this time. The food had never tasted so good or maybe I had missed it too much over the last year.

After the last of the desserts were cleaned, Professor McGonagall stood up for her speech.

"Welcome our first years, and welcome back to the rest of you. We cannot express in words how glad we are to see you sitting here today. The last year has been hard on all of us, but together we can help and heal. I hope the recent events will lead to a renewed unity among the houses. Now for the regular announcements, the Forbidden Forest still remains out of bounds for all students. Mr. Filch would again like to remind that magic is prohibited in between classes and in corridors. He has also requested me to remind you that any product of Weasleys Wizard Wheezes is not allowed inside the castle." On this there was definitely a hint of smile on her face.

"I would also like to introduce our new defense against the dark arts teacher, Mr. Weatherby." The students gave him a round of applause, an old balding wizard in deep royal blue robes.

"Harry told me he retired from the Auror office a few days back." Ginny informed me.

"It has been a long journey, so I would request the house teachers to lead their students to their common rooms. As for the sixth and the seventh year students, you will stay back for other announcements."

The rest of the students started getting up and following their heads to the common rooms. I noticed Professor Sinatra leading the Gryffindor. It was a little strange as I had never imagined anyone else apart from Professor McGonagall in that place, just like it was strange to not see Dumbledore at the head of the teachers table.

After about five minutes, the professor asked us to gather closer.

"Those of you who are of age probably realize what it is about. Those of you in sixth year need to be aware of the same as it will affect you all in a year or so. As you are aware, the Marriage law has been put into effect. We can assume this law will be applicable to all those who are of age for the next two to three years. If the population does not reach a specified mark, it may be extended for a few more years. But coming back to more important matters, many of you, specially the seventh year, will be married in a months' time. As per the Ministry law, you will be expected to live with your spouses for obvious reasons. Keeping that in mind, a special wing has been created near the lake. That particular area will be prohibited to younger students to provide you all with the required privacy. The keys to your respective flats will be provided once you are married. For those, whose spouses have already passed out, you will be allowed to leave the premises for the weekends and must return on Monday morning for your classes. All those whose pairs are to be selected by the Ministry will receive their letter within the next five days. All the teachers realize the consequences of the situation and are here to help you. Please feel free to ask and clarify your doubts with us. We realize the kind of situation you all are being pushed into. Had it been in my hands, I would never allow the students attending school to face such a situation. But times such as these call for such measures. Any questions?"

After making sure that the students did not have any doubts, we returned to our dormitories.

"Half a month, and then Harry and I will be together." Ginny said while on our way to the common room.

She deserved this. She had waited for really a long time. Last year she didn't even know when Harry would return or if return at all. They were meant to be together. She complimented him perfectly in every way.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

The next morning we were handed our schedules after our breakfast. The Slytherin's behavior was actually worth noticing. None of them dared pass a remark on the other houses; sure of the reaction they would receive.

The classes turned out to be exactly as I had thought. We were flooded with homework and the teachers kept reminding us of the revision that was required from the previous years. I was glad to realize that even after a year away from school; I had not forgotten my lessons. I was also glad that I had started studying as soon as I had bought the books or else I would have been neck deep in trouble. At least I didn't have to do Ron and Harry's part of studies. Me and Ginny managed pretty well. I was so busy studying that I had completely forgotten that the letters from the Ministry were due on the 5th.

So on Saturday, when an owl scooped down in front of me while I was having my breakfast and reading the next chapter for Charms, I was taken aback. Looking up, I realized all the senior students were receiving similar letters. Ginny had already opened hers and was reading it with a smile on her face.

She looked up at me and said "I have never felt this happy reading a letter before." She was beaming and I really felt glad for her. Luna drifted to us and stated that she had been paired with Neville. 'Perfect', I thought smiling. 'One would look for plants all around the world while the other would look for weird creatures in the same places'. Exactly at that moment Susan Bones came and announced that she was paired with Ron. At least he had found a sweet decent girl. Ginny got up and hugged her saying "Welcome to the family." All Susan could do was smile. They had only interacted during the DA classes during our 5th year and Ron was not exactly the best there. But he was special in his own way. She would soon realize that, of that I was sure.

Finally Ginny turned to look at me and asked "So, who did you get paired with?"

The question hit me like a bucket of ice water. I realized I was holding the letter but did not really feel like opening it now that the moment had come. I was panicking. My hands were shaking and my throat suddenly went dry.

Ginny sat down beside me and looked at me and asked, "Do you want me to open it?"

Did I want her to open it? No. Did _I_ want to open it? NO!

I just did not want to open that letter now that was in my hands. I don't know, but stalling felt like the best option at the present moment. Ginny looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Hermione, you have to open it some time. Stalling will not help. Just open and get it over with. Maybe it won't be that bad."

She was right. I was behaving like an idiot. There had to be some decent guy out there. "You are right." I replied in a whisper, not able to manage my voice any higher. I ripped open the envelop and took out the letter and started reading it in a hurry.

_Miss Hermione Granger_

_As per the previous letter, you are aware of the Marriage law. Not receiving any information from your behalf for your choice, your name was put into the selection process and after careful analysis of your personality; you have been paired with Mr. Draco Lucius Malfoy._

_You have until the end of this month for your wedding. You will be required to inform us about the date and the venue as a ministry official shall have to be present for the ceremony. All other details regarding the marriage will be explained on the particular day. We await your response._

_With best wishes,_

_The Department of Magical Law Enforcement_

I read the letter thrice before actually registering the name. This was impossible. This was a nightmare, some kind of a pathetic joke being played on me. I couldn't be paired with Malfoy, this was PREPOSTEROUS!

"Hermione?" I looked up at Ginny. "You have gone all white. Is everything okay?"

Okay? OKAY? No nothing was _okay_. I was paired with Draco Malfoy, how in the world anything could be okay? I just blankly stared at her. My mind still reciting the letter I had just read. She slowly pulled out the letter from my hands and read. By the time she reached the name, her expression had changed to one of horror mingled with disgust.

"This is not happening. There has to be a way out of this. You cannot marry him!"

I looked up at Ginny. She was right about one thing, there had to be a way out of this. There was no way in this world that I was marrying that obnoxious git, law or no law. I got the letter out of Ginny's hand and stood up.

"I am going to McGonagall. There has to be a way out." And with that I walked out of the great hall walking towards the Headmistress's office. If for once I had to use my name to get out of this, then I would do it. But this was so not happening. Telling the password I climbed the rotating stairway and knocked. Professor called from within to get in and I took a deep breath and entered. I had to keep calm. Being hysterical would not help.

Professor McGonagall was sitting on the other side of her desk bent over a few papers. She looked up at me. "Miss Granger. Is something wrong? You seem to be shaken."

I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible and answer her. "I got my letter Professor and I would like to talk about it."

"Yes of course. Please sit down."

I sat down and looked at her. "I cannot marry the person in question, Professor."

"Miss Granger, you know the law-"

"I don't care about the law."I cut her. I would never think of interrupting a professor, but desperate times call for desperate measures. "I am paired with _Malfoy_, Professor. You sure do understand why I am saying so. You know of our past. You know about him and his family. I was tortured by his lunatic aunt in his own home, in front of him a few months ago. How can anybody think I'll marry HIM?"

Professor McGonagall seemed really disturbed but when she spoke her voice was as calm and patient as ever. "Granger, I know what you are trying to say. But you of all people know the rules. The method that is used cannot be reversed. They have a magical binding on the said people. The law is too old and fool proof to try and find a way out. There is nothing that can be done."

"But Professor, there surely is SOMETHING! I cannot marry him!"

"I understand Granger, but I am really sorry to say this is something I don't think even Professor Dumbledore would have been able to solve. There is no way out of it. If your names are paired, you are already magically bound to that person. There is no possible way to reverse it."

She was saying exactly the words I knew that I had read but I wanted to be told otherwise. I looked up at the picture of Dumbledore and saw him smiling at me from under his half mooned spectacles. Either there was a gleam in his eyes that I could not exactly understand or it was just the light playing a trick. Yet I had a strange feeling that he knew or saw something that I was missing. As I stared at his picture, I hoped that something turned out to be less dreadful than the news that this letter had brought me that I was clutching in my hand.

When I walked in through the portrait, I found Ginny sitting in one of the armchairs. I flopped into the next feeling drained. I had thought that this year would be good since I wouldn't have to help Harry to defeat a maniac wizard. But that was before I got the letter about the law. Now, I felt like slapping myself for expecting anything good.

"What did she say?" Ginny was looking at me with a worried expression. She knew what my answer would be, but I was sure she too was hoping to hear something different.

"Nothing that we didn't know already."

She sighed. I knew she was thinking about the same thing. If I had decided to marry Ron, this wouldn't have been happening. When I had decided against Ron, I had thought it to be a right decision. I wanted a challenge, adventure. At that point of time it seemed like a tempting thought.

Well, at least my wish was coming true. Marrying Malfoy was a challenge and an adventure that I could kick myself for wanting. I had never believed in fate; it was always hardcore facts but for once I would love to believe in it, because I could put the blame on my ill fate then.

"Ron must have got his letter with Susan's name. He would want to know what happened to you." Although Ginny was staring at the flames, her mind was definitely miles away from it.

"He'll freak out. Oh god! How do I tell my parents? They know there is only one Malfoy and that he practically made my life hell here." I said dropping my head into my hands. "How am I going to tell them about this?"

"You have to tell your parents, you can't keep this from them. Harry and I are getting married in two weeks. The entire family will be here. So, they will come to know of it as well, whether you tell them or not. Moreover Ron will also have to fix a date within this month. If he decides on a date prior to ours, then they'll be here sooner. And it's not something small that you'll be able to hide. Ron and Harry will want to be with you on… on the… day." She couldn't say that word.

"That's exactly what I'm scared off. Think about it, my best friend kills my 'to be husband'." No, even sarcasm wasn't helping much now. I couldn't take it anymore. "I am going to the library. I feel really restless sitting here." I said getting up. "Maybe I'll find something to help me."

I spent the rest of the day in the library, pouring over books, reading everything about the marriage law, everything that I had already read before. I didn't even go for lunch. I didn't feel like eating. Ginny came down to occasionally check on me and finally dragged me to dinner stating that it would never help me to starve because of Malfoy. After dinner she made sure that I did not go back to library. So I ended up sitting in our usual place in the common room. I tried studying for my classes on Monday, but considering that I had already done my work, I couldn't concentrate for long. Finally after sitting quietly beside me for so long, Ginny spoke up.

"You at least need to tell your parents Hermione. We can think about what to do about Ron and Harry, but your parents need to be told. They won't be able to attend, will they?"

"It's not about if they can, I don't want them to. I don't want them anywhere near the Malfoys. I don't think I'll be able to control myself if anyone of them said anything to my parents. I have to go through hell for a life time does not mean I drag them into it too. I don't want them too involved. The lesser they know the better." Sitting there, I had at least cleared that much up in my mind. I couldn't tell my parents much. They were better off as away from the Malfoys as possible. I know it would mean keeping them away from the wedding, but then again the wedding would only be a namesake.

"You know Ginny, I have been thinking about it. Will Malfoy actually agree to this too? I mean the pureblood Malfoys would definitely not want a muggleborn to taint their family name, not to mention expect a half blood heir." I said finally voicing something that I had been thinking about for the past hour.

"He doesn't have an option. But what surprises me is that he didn't inform the ministry about someone. I would have expected him to choose some pureblood idiot to marry."

"Exactly!" I replied turning in my chair to face her. "Why did they wait for the ministry to decide? Wouldn't they choose someone from a pureblood background. They don't even have any power inside the ministry now that they'll manage to play it according to their wants. Not that this process can be rigged in any manner that I know of. People would hardly associate with them. If Harry hadn't told the Wizengamot otherwise, all of them would be tucked in Azkaban for the rest of their lives. Oh, why did Harry let them go?" I turned to face the fire again, exasperated. And to think why _I_ had seconded him.

"A lot of people have asked that. Right now, that question makes even more sense."

Slowly the common room cleared as students drifted off to bed. After some time Ginny pulled me up towards our dormitory. I silently followed, changed and climbed onto my bed. I don't remember when I drifted off to sleep, but I remember waking up screaming and sweating from dreaming about the dreadful Manor again.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

My bad luck seemed to follow me the next day. We were in the Great Hall eating our breakfast, when the post arrived. Pig landed in front of us dropping letters for both of us. I opened Ron's letter and read through. He was getting married in a week's time in Hogsmead. Along with it, the inevitable question. I was trying to decide whether I should tell him about it in a letter or wait till he was married, when a black owl swiftly landed in front of me and held up its leg so I could retrieve the letter. As soon as I was done, it flew away.

Ginny looked at the bird flying away and asked "Is it from whom I think it is?"

"Yes, it's him." I replied looking at the clean and crisp handwriting on the envelop.

I opened the letter, trying to cool my temper and stopping myself from tearing the letter to pieces even before reading it.

_Granger,_

_As you are aware we have been paired by the Ministry and have till the month's end to wed. I would like to know your plans for the same so that I can inform the Ministry about the date and venue._

_Personally, I do not wish for it to be a very big affair. My mother shall not be attending. If you want your parents' presence, I suggest doing it in Hogsmead. If not, I do not mind if it takes place at Hogwarts, as a small ceremony would do .Also, if I may, I would prefer it on 26th of this month._

_I shall be awaiting your reply._

_Draco Malfoy_

"This boy has the nerve!" I said through gritted teeth. Of course his mother would not attend. The pureblood wife of a Death Eater would definitely not want to bear witness to their only son marrying a muggleborn.

"What does he say?" Ginny asked me after waiting for me to speak up and realizing that I wasn't saying any more.

"He wants to know what I have planned as he needs to inform the Ministry. His mother will not be attending, like I care or want them anywhere near me. I think I would be more willing to hex them into oblivion than say 'I do'. But what surprises me is that he has the nerve to ask if my parents will be attending."

"He actually asked that?" Ginny asked, surprised.

"Yes. Never mind that now. So Ron's marrying in a week here. So that means I need to decide how to tell him and make sure he does not end up in Azkaban before or after his marriage." I smiled at Ginny. I realized in all my problems she was not being able to enjoy it as much as she wants to. Moreover I had till 26th; I would at least enjoy my two best friends' wedding before going to the gallows.

That day after lunch, I went down to the library and wrote a letter to Malfoy. I had already decided that I wouldn't involve my parents even if Lucius Malfoy wouldn't be there. So a small ceremony here at Hogwarts seemed fine. Moreover the date couldn't be better. Harry and Ron would be done by then so I would be able to enjoy their wedding at least. So I wrote back saying I was okay with his decision. As I wrote the letter I wondered what the world had come to. I was agreeing to something that Malfoy had said.

The week passed pretty quickly. Throughout the day we were busy with our classes. By the time we returned to the common room we would have the burden of our home works. Since we wanted to keep our weekend free; that meant studying for late at nights. The occasional free time that we got, I made sure to actively participate in the wedding discussions with Ginny. After four days of the same behavior, she finally asked me over dinner, "Are you alright?"

"Yes." I replied looking at her as if I did not know why she would ask such a stupid question.

"So you are fine with Malfoy now?" not sure how else to say it but still apprehensive about the fact that I would be enraged again.

"No, but I don't see why I should let him spoil my mood for my friends' weddings. I still have half a month and I would prefer to utilize my time and effort in more productive things rather pent up my anger for him." Ginny seemed relieved to hear that because after that she did not bring that topic again.

Saturday morning was a complete chaos. As I stood in the girls' bathroom telling Ginny that she looked absolutely fine, I wondered what she would be like on her own wedding if she was fussing so much over Ron's. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her peach gown. Her red flaming hair pulled in an up do with a few stray hairs falling on her shoulders. I, on the other hand, was wearing a Prussian blue one that I had got from one of the shops here in Hogsmead.

Finally convincing Ginny that if we did not leave, we would miss the wedding, we headed for the venue. It was a small stone cottage with large windows. The sunrays that entered through the tinted glass made it almost perfect for the occasion.

By the time we reached, the Weasleys were already there. I had to say, Ron looked pretty good in his black dress robes.

"Hey, congrats." I said giving him a hug and smiled. "Nervous?" I asked after he had meekly smiled and refused to open his mouth. I smiled up at him. "Ron, you finished horcruxs, its only saying 'I do'."

"Well that seems a more difficult task at the moment." He replied.

"Relax. Everything will be fine. And now smile it's almost time." " Hey, Hermione." Harry had appeared beside me and gave me a small hug. We all fell into place, Harry, staying by Ron, as he was the best man. Mrs. Weasley was beaming. It was good to see all the Weasleys together. A few seconds later Susan walked in and the minimal chatter subsided.

After the ceremony, the Ministry official walked up to the newlyweds and extended his wishes. After which he informed them already known fact that Susan had a year to bear her first child, at which Ron turned beetroot red.

We all ended up in the Three Broomsticks some time after that. Mr. Weasley raised the toast to the new couple and Ron led Susan for their traditional dance. I noticed George sitting at one of the tables and made my way to him. As I approached him, he looked up and smiled. It was heartbreaking to see him like that because the smile was definitely nothing like usual. It was a sad one.

"Hey, congrats. I heard about you and Angelina. So when are you to getting married?" I asked sitting on the chair beside him.

"Tomorrow." He replied.

"Tomorrow? How come I didn't hear about it?" thinking back about the letter from Ron that had no mention of it.

"Probably because it was only decide two days back." George replied. "Mom wanted a proper ceremony but Angelina and I decided to keep it as simple as possible. We are going down to the Ministry to fulfill the formalities. I don't want anything big." He was staring at his glass. Fred had been a part of him. They had been practically inseparable and now everything had changed. I reached up and touched his hands. He looked up and tried smiling at me. Then in an attempt to change the topic he asked "So, who are you marrying and when?"

"Yeah, Ginny wouldn't say anything either. She said I should ask you." Harry had appeared by my side.

I knew this was about to happen, just how to get out of this situation, was the most important question now. I tried faking a smile and replied "Fluffy, loyal and completely adept at protecting me. Really guys, Ron just got married. Let's first enjoy the occasion." Thankfully Ron chose that moment to ask me for a dance and I was spared from the rest of the conversation. But not before Harry gave me a weird look. Of course that boy saw more into matter these days.

When it was time to leave, all the Weasleys were going back to The Burrow, Harry said he would walk me to the gates. After saying my goodbyes and wishing George, we made our way towards the castle. When we were half way there, Harry confronted me. "Hermione, who are you marrying?"

I knew I would be hard to keep it from him now. Ron had been too busy but Harry wouldn't let go until he got an answer. Nevertheless I tried one last time. "Harry, I-"

"Hermione, I know you are trying to avoid the question, I want to know why?" We had stopped walking and he was squarely looking in my eyes. Realizing that I couldn't keep it any longer, I took a deep breath and said "Malfoy."

Harry looked at me like I had just said that I was a Death Eater myself. After a few seconds, he shook his head and said, "You are joking. You can't mean Draco Malfoy."

"Of course not, I mean Lucius Malfoy." Though even saying that creeped me out. It really wasn't worth even joking about. I sighed.

"It is Draco Malfoy, Harry. And don't look at me like that." I said "There is no other way, I talked to McGonagall too. And for your knowledge, none of this would have happened if you hadn't saved them." I said even before he opened his mouth, my frustration over myself returning again.

"I had no idea something like this could ever happen. If his mother had not…." He trailed off. "I am sorry Hermione." I knew none of this was his fault. I had even supported his decision then. How were we to know I would end up being paired with Draco Malfoy for the Marriage Law and it was so typical for Harry to feel like it was his fault.

"I know Harry, it's not your fault."

"Ron doesn't know yet."

"I don't know how to tell him either."

"Has the day been finalized?" We had started walking again.

"Yes, it's 26th of this month. It will be here at school, just a ceremony. He wrote saying his mother won't be present, which I consider a saving grace. I wrote a letter to my parents, trying to keep it as convincing as possible. But I still don't know how to tell Ron."

"Don't worry, we'll find a way." We had reached the castle and after a last hug, Harry disapparated.

Ginny returned on Monday morning for the classes. George and Angelina had gone down to the Ministry the day before and got married. As the week progressed, Ginny became more hysterical. But the good thing was that in trying to calm her, I had forgotten that it was only a week to my own wedding.

Saturday morning, Mrs. Weasley arrived with Ginny's wedding gown, a pure white ensemble with a sequined work on the front. The castle was abuzz with curiosity. Professor McGonagall had to restrict the students from going near the lake saying that if she found any student even remotely close, they were sure to get a month worth of detention.

Harry looked at peace, standing there waiting for Ginny and when finally they were wedded, I realized I had never seen him so happy.

It was after all the formalities were completed, that Harry and Ginny walked up to me. I congratulated them both feeling really happy for both my best friends. "Hey. Happy birthday. From next year, we'll celebrate this day for dual reasons." Ginny said with a hug.

"Are you planning to tell Ron about Malfoy?" Harry asked. I knew both of them were worried about his reaction, so was I. I was about to tell them that I had decided to tell Ron when I heard him.

"Tell me what about Malfoy?" Ron looked at the three of us and asked, "What am I missing?" Harry and Ginny looked at me. Ron turned towards me and after staring at me for probably a minute or so, it suddenly hit him. "No. No, no, no. No! You are marrying HIM? Are you mental? And why am I the last to know or didn't you intend to tell me?" I knew he would be furious.

"Ron, please-"Harry started saying but Ron stopped him short.

"When did you come to know?" Harry looked at me once and replied, "Last Saturday."

"Last Saturday? You mean the day I married? And you didn't tell me?" Ron was looking at me. It hurt me to see him hurt like that. Hiding it was not intentional. I needed to tell him that. But before that I had to find my voice. I took a deep breath and looked up at him in the eyes and said, "I am sorry Ron. I know I should have told you before, but I really didn't know what to say. Moreover I didn't want to ruin your special day. Please Ron."

He took a step towards me. Then unable to decide what to do just shook his head and said, "I don't know what to say Hermione. Maybe I should have just-"I couldn't let him feel that. It was just a week. It wasn't fair on Susan.

"Ron, don't blame yourself. It was my decision. I need you to stand by me. We have survived so much together. As long as I have you all, I know I'll be fine." Ron just stared at me for a minute and asked, "When?"

"Next Saturday, here at Hogwarts." I knew he would be here. I thanked God that it had gone better than I had anticipated. He hugged me then and said, "Just remember I'm always there."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Ginny had returned on Monday morning, beaming. I didn't have to ask why. The only thing that was a problem was Ginny had to shift from the dorm. It was bad. I was going to miss her but then I remembered it was only a week. Then, I too would be expected to move out. The thought of living under the same roof with Malfoy was disgusting. It was going to be a miracle if we survived two days without hexing each other.

Wednesday morning my dress arrived. My mother had sent it. When I had written to her, I had requested she sent me a dress. It was the least I could do to keep some part of her close to me on that particular day.

As the days passed, I was starting to lose my cool. If it hadn't been for Ginny, I probably would probably have lost my mind. Friday evening, Ginny decided to spend the night with me in the dorm.

That night, as Ginny and I walked back towards the Gryffindor, she squeezed my hand.

"Hermione, Harry asked me to tell you that whatever happens tomorrow, we'll always be there. So, he says, you are not to hide anything and tell us if you feel anything, just anything that you feel is not right. Please don't try to solve all the problems yourself and please don't think that you'll be disturbing us, because we'll always remain friends first. And I know spending one year like the last can bring people really close. You mean a lot to Harry, to Ron... to us."

I knew I'd always have them. That was one consolidation to me. All these years even when I was constantly reminded, by none other than the man I was about to marry, that I did not belong to this world, I had found a few friends that I knew would stand by me no matter what. They had proved that since First year. Ron had proved that in our second year too, with a broken wand. "I know Ginny; you don't have to remind me. If it hadn't been for you, I would have never been able to do it tomorrow." I returned her smile and we started walking again.

"You know, I think Harry feels responsible for your situation."

"What?" I asked blankly. "Why would he feel responsible?"

"Well he says if he hadn't saved the Malfoys, then you wouldn't have to marry him."

Of course, Harry had to remember my words from that day. I felt guilty that Harry was holding himself responsible for this. "Ginny, I want you to tell him not to think that. If it hadn't been Malfoy, it would be someone else. He can't always hold himself responsible for everything that happens to everyone. It's time he got out of that. He's done enough for us. We have to learn to fight our own battles. He can't keep fighting them for us."

"I'll tell him that. Now come-on, you need some sleep."

Although I let Ginny drag me to bed early, I knew sleep would elude me.

The next morning, I woke up at the break of dawn, if it could be called so. The weather had deteriorated over the week and today morning it seemed as if it was portraying my inner turmoil. It was raining hard and was accompanied with thunder and lighting. I lay on my bed for a long time, hoping for the last time, although I knew in vain, that it was all just a nightmare and that I would open my eyes at any moment to realize everything was back to normal. After about an hour or so Ginny woke up and dragged me up along with her. After pushing me into the shower, she herself hurried to finish her work.

I couldn't care less about how I looked but Ginny was against all that.

"Maybe you don't want to marry him Hermione, but you still are. So when he sees you today, we want to make sure that you look your best, so he doesn't get to pass a snide remark, although I really want to see him do that." When I had turned to stare at her, she chuckled and replied, "Maybe Harry or Ron will hex him for it and he'll land in St. Mungo's for a year, so you won't have to marry him."

I had to give it to her. "That actually sounds tempting." I replied, unable to hide that small smile creeping on my face.

-o-

The ceremony was being held in one of the of the old class rooms. We were scheduled for nine and it was eight forty-five when both of us made our way towards the third floor classroom. Harry, Ron and Susan were waiting for us outside. When we reached, Harry and Ron took turns to hug me. In the absence of my father, I had asked Harry to walk me down the so called aisle. So while Harry stayed back, the other three went inside. When it was time, Harry looked at me and asked, "Ready?"

I took a deep breath and replied, "It's now or never."

When I set foot inside the classroom, the first thing I noticed was the man standing at the end of the aisle, clean, tailored black robes and blond hair. But when the man turned to face me, the difference was immediate. Draco Malfoy looked like he had aged years in the months following the war. The most noticeable difference was the lack of his trademark smirk. I had to say it, but he looked different without it.

The ceremony started, and though I knew that even with the least amount of formalities, it would take some time, every minute felt like hours. When we were asked to kiss, that was when I almost blacked out. I stared at the person in front of me as if he had just announced that Voldemort was back and we had to go on the run again.

I was scared to turn and look at Malfoy. I knew he would have an expression that would make my blood boil. So when I felt a pair of hands grasp my arms and turn me around I gasped. I could see him bringing his face closer and the thought simply repulsed me. When his face was a mere inch away, I could not take it anymore, and shut my eyes tight. I felt a pair of soft lips brush my cheek, but before my mind could register anything else, it was gone and so had the pair of hands.

I opened my eyes, trying desperately to control my breathing. Professor McGonagall, who was present for the ceremony, walked up to us at the moment and handed over a set of keys to Malfoy. Then turning towards me she said, "Congratulations to both of you. You are to accompany your husband home today and return to school by eight on Monday morning, Mrs. Malfoy." I was taken aback by the name with which she addressed me. She gave me a small smile and said in a low voice, "I wish you luck Granger." And with that, she walked out of the room.

I was still thinking about it when Harry walked up to us and looked squarely at Malfoy and spoke. "I don't want to hear any complaints Malfoy. I can't be forgiving all the time." He looked dead serious and I knew he was. Behind him, I noticed Ginny and Susan were trying to control Ron whose ears had turned red again.

"You would realize we are not that big a fool Potter." It was Blaise Zabini who spoke. It seemed he was the only one who had come with Malfoy.

"You are talking about my wife now, Potter. And whether willingly or unwillingly, she is a part of the Malfoy family now and I can assure you that her comfort and peace shall be well taken care of." Malfoy nodded once at Harry and then turning towards me said, "Can we talk for a minute?" I gave Harry a fleeting glance and nodded. He walked out of the classroom into the corridor and I followed. As soon as we were outside the classroom he turned and said, "I know a wedding is usually followed by a reception, but considering the present circumstances, I would prefer to skip it. If you want to stay back with your friends, you may. I shall be waiting in our room. The key says its number 303. We have to leave together today, so I will wait for you in the room." And with that he strode towards the room, called Zabini, and left.

When Ron, Harry, Ginny and Susan came out, I was still standing dumbstruck. Malfoy had said more than one line to me and had not insulted me. He had even called me, a muggleborn, a part of his family, not that it was pleasing. When I had not spoken for a minute, Ron slowly called out, "Hermione?"

"Are you sure Harry, that he hasn't lost his mind during the war?" when Harry looked at me with a confused expression, I explained, "He didn't even insult me once."

Since the wedding was taking place inside the castle, it was obvious that the inquisitiveness levels would be high and when has Hogwarts ever be able to control students from spying. The three most unruly ones were standing together right now. I wanted to stay back with them, but with Harry present, we all knew privacy was the last thing that we would find.

"Let's go to our room, you can stay with us for a while." Ginny said looking up at me.

I looked out. It was still raining heavily. "I think I'll change first. It really does not make sense to ruin these clothes." Ginny and Susan's things had already been moved from the dormitories. So they would have no choice. It was decided that we would meet at Ginny and Harry's room, which turned out to be the one right next to mine. While the rest headed out, me and Ginny made our way towards the Gryffindor common room. We made sure to use all the secret passages that we knew, moving in the corridors only when necessary. We were almost near the portrait of the Fat Lady when Ginny spoke up, "You know, I was thinking, you are going to meet with a lot of eyes on your way back."

"Why is that?" I asked, giving the password and entering the common room. It was almost full. Why didn't people think of being in the library for a change? I was a little irritated, so when I did not get a reply, I turned to look at my friend. Ginny motioned me towards my dorm and I started climbing the stairs. When we reached my room, she turned and locked the door, so that nobody else could enter. She looked a little flustered and I couldn't understand what possibly new could happen for people to stare at me. They were already doing that a lot. "Come on Ginny, speak up. Since when did you have to start thinking to say something?" I asked turning to my trunk and not finding it there. What the hell?

"Since Malfoy got involved." I did a double take. "What?" This was getting really frustrating. Ginny was talking in riddles and my trunk was missing? Why?

"You know it's your wedding night tonight?" she replied meekly. Okay, that was the limit. I turned towards her and tried to not scream while saying it, "Ginny I don't care about it. If you think I'll let Malf-"I was cut short by a knock on the door. Ginny probably thought it was the best escape she would get for hinting something like that, because she went ahead and opened a door. It was a girl from the third year. She looked at Ginny once then turned towards me and said, "Your trunk was taken away a few minutes back."

I stared at the girl. Ginny recovered faster. She thanked the girl and shut the door again. "It looks like your stuff has already been transferred."

Seriously, I was married only half an hour and I was already thrown out of my house dorm? I strode across the room and wrenched it open. I preferred to keep my mouth shut because I knew I would start screaming at random people. I was sure I looked fierce because people gave way. I almost ran out of the common room. I could hear Ginny behind me trying to catch up.

It was still raining hard when I stepped out of the castle. Ginny was close behind me. She had caught up when I had hesitated at the front doors. When she saw me walking towards my room instead of hers she asked, "Um… Hermione, I thought you were coming with us?"

"I need to change first. I'll be there in a few minutes." I replied without glancing at her. Of course I would, it was definitely better than being in the same room as Malfoy.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Our rooms were small stone cottages in different rows. Ours was the third cottage on the third row, hence the number 303. When I turned the knob and stepped inside, I realized it was not just a room. It was magically expanded to have a bedroom with a bath and a small living room. Apart from the deep mahogany furniture, everything else was pristine white. As I closed the door behind me, Malfoy who was sitting in one of the armchairs near the fire, looked up. Apparently, Zabini had left. We stared at each other for a moment before I strode off towards our bedroom. There, lying at the foot of the bed was my trunk which had already been unpacked. I found a pair of my old jeans and a t-shirt and walked towards the bathroom to change.

When I came out to the living room, Malfoy was still sitting there looking into the fire. "I'll probably return after dinner." I said walking towards the door. First day or not, I had no intentions of having a meal with Malfoy. And without a glance backwards, I left the room.

I spent the rest of the day at Harry's, talking about random stuff in an attempt to cool my nerves. But as the day came to a close, it only became worse.

"You can't go to the Manor." Ron said. We were sitting around the fire after dinner.

"And again I can't think where else he will take me Ronald." We had discussed this, a number of times since the afternoon. "You can stay here." He replied as if it was as easy as that.

"Ron, we have discussed this before. I would prefer to be here, but not everything I want is going to happen from now on. Don't make it any more difficult for me, please."

Before Ron could reply, Susan spoke, "Hermione, you know Ron is just worried about you. Anyways, if you leave Hogwarts tonight and find anything wrong at the Manor, we'll be at the Burrow. Just come there. Even Harry and Ginny will be there tonight."

"How did everyone react?" I hadn't asked that question yet. The Weasleys had come to know after Harry's wedding when Ron went back and screamed his head out at everybody. It was obvious. I knew Ron would rant and he had. That much Ginny had informed. I hadn't asked about anyone else's reaction. I knew it couldn't be good. Learning about their reactions before the wedding would have made it worse.

"They were upset, specially Molly. But they are more worried, for you, for your security. No one's ignorant of the risks involved here."

"And Bill and George?" I had to know. Though Malfoy wasn't to blame for Fred's... death, but he was definitely responsible for what happened to Bill. Every Weasley hated Malfoy for it.

"Bill is a grown and mature man, Hermione." Harry replied.

"And has every reason to hate that son of-"

"Ron." Susan squeezed his shoulders, trying to calm him down.

I looked up at Susan and smiled. The Ministry, it seemed, had at least made one good pairing. Susan had a way with people which I know Ron had always lacked.

Realizing that I couldn't sit here any longer, I got up. " I should get going." After a round of hugs, very reluctantly from Ron, I made my way towards my cabin. It was only drizzling now.

When I entered my cottage, Malfoy stood up. I closed the door behind me but did not move. This was _really_ awkward, more than I had anticipated. After a few seconds Malfoy spoke up. "Your things will be transported by a house elf, so you won't have to worry about them. They'll be in place when you reach—"

"We are leaving?" It was not sudden, I knew we would be leaving. But the words were spontaneous. I was not comfortable with the thought that I was being taken to the Malfoy Manor.

"Yes, to the Manor. I have requested to set up a floo network. If you will." He said and extended a hand for me. I looked at him, too shocked to speak. Then recovering I replied, "I can travel myself, thank you. Unfortunately, I've had the _pleasure_ of visiting your humble abode. "

He simply looked at me and said, "I know. I just don't want you lost amongst the floo network. Once you know it, you will be free to travel by yourself." I looked at the still outstretched hand. It was true. The last time I had been there, I had hardly been able to analyse my surroundings. More of all, i hadn't been there through the floo.

Realizing I had no way out of this, I took the hand. It was not hard, but not soft either. He slowly pulled me close enough and threw the floo powder into the flames. When the flames turned green, he pulled me into the flames along with him and said "Cottage at Malfoy Manor." Cottage? That dreadful place had a cottage too? And Malfoy was taking me there? The confined place of the fireplace was pushing us closer and I felt him pull me closer to him. But before anything else, he had swiftly stepped over an emerald green carpet and was helping me out. This cottage I realized, as I turned and looked around was bigger than the one at Hogwarts. It had two rooms, a small kitchen and a moderate sized living room. The entire cottage seemed to be furnished in typical Slytherin colors. After a few minutes I decided to break the silence and ask Malfoy, "Where are we?"

"It is a cottage on the southern side of the Manor. You will find your things in the master bedroom. The floo network has been established between the two rooms here and our alloted place at Hogwarts, so you will be able to return to school on Monday. If you-"

"Hold on a second, when you say return on Monday, you mean to say that I need stay here, at the Manor, for a whole day tomorrow?" I crossed my arms in front of me and continued, "If you don't remember Malfoy, then I will remind you that only a few months ago I was tortured here by your Aunt. I am not staying here for a minute more than required. I only came because tonight because I know the Ministry will keeps tabs on us tonight."

His cold gray eyes did not even flicker at the memory. Of course, he must have enjoyed it. His tone was as monotonous as I had heard it earlier this morning. "No, you were tortured at the Manor, and this is not the Manor. Moreover, you will be required to spend your weekends here, like you said, the Ministry will keeps tabs on us and not just for tonight. I am not taking any chances with the Ministry. You will not be disturbed here and will be perfectly safe. Dippy." He all of a sudden called out, and almost instantly a house elf materialized in front of us."You can call her for anything required. She will be here all the time with you. Don't worry, I won't bother you." And with that before I could say anything else, he had walked out of the cottage door into the night.

Dippy turned and bowed, her nose almost touching the ground. This was so wrong. I had always been against house elves being enslaved and here I would be, depending on a house elf. Okay, if she would be here, I would have to make sure of a few things.

"Um… Dippy?" Kreacher had been difficult at first, but still I was not his master. Then again, the house elves were not used to good behavior most of the time. Dippy bowed again, then stood up looking at me with shining eyes and said "Yes mistress?"

I cringed. This was going to take some time being accustomed to. "Um…. Dippy, you are not to bow like that for me. A simple greeting will do. Okay?" Dippy looked as if I had told her something that she would have difficulty following, yet I knew that she wouldn't be able to disobey a direct order like that. Dippy bowed halfway, then stopped and looked at me, frightened. Good, one thing was done, now for the next. "More over you are not to punish yourself if you can't obey any of my orders." I looked at her, questioningly. She just shook her head.

Well, the initial things sorted out, I turned to look at the room. The kitchen was to my right, the two rooms across the room and the main door to my left. "I didn't know there was a cottage here." I said walking towards the master bedroom, talking aloud, more to myself.

"This cottage was built about two and a half months back for Master Draco." Dippy said walking behind me to the room. I looked around the room. This too was adorned with the typical Slytherin colors. There was a double sized bed in the middle of the room with emerald green covers. The white curtains were drawn. There was a door to the right. Walking up to it, I realized it was a dressing area. There was a door to the left that led to the bathroom. The opposite wall had full length mirrors and the door to the right was a small walk-in closet. On the first rack a few of my clothes were kept. The last two racks were filled with Malfoy's robes.

I went back to the room. There was a writing desk at one corner. It seemed as if it was regularly used, a small fireplace near it. 'Malfoy lives here, not in the Manor?'

I looked at Dippy who was still standing in front of me. She could probably tell me. "Dippy, does Master Draco come here often?" she seemed relieved that this time I had not asked her to do something that she wasn't used to. So she eagerly replied.

"Yes, Master Draco lives here."

"Malfoy lives here? But why doesn't he live in the Manor?"

"Master Draco does not wish to stay there but Mistress wants Master Draco near. So Master Draco shifted here."

"But why doesn't he wish to stay there, it's his home." This was strange, Malfoy not wanting to stay in his own home.

"After the fall of the Dark Lord, Master Draco had an argument with Mistress. Dippy doesn't know why but after that night, Master Draco hardly goes to the Manor. Mistress asked Dippy to be with Master Draco always."

Malfoy had an argument with Narcissa Malfoy? He had always been proud of his family. In the sixth year, he had been really enraged because his father was sent to Azkaban. Not to mention this same Narcissa Malfoy had lied to Voldemort just to find her son. So, this came as a piece of news. I was blankly staring at the wall when it occurred to me. "Dippy, if you are supposed to stay with Malfoy all the times, then how come he said you are going to be here always?"

"Because Master Draco asked Dippy to be with Mistress all the time." She replied and smiled as if I was asking a silly question.

It was already late and I was feeling tired but I wasn't sure if I could sleep, specially being so close to the Manor. Thank God, Malfoy didn't live there. I would never want to set foot inside that place again.

Dippy found my night clothes, a pair of shorts and a tank top, while I took a bath. It soothed my nerves to some extent. I put my clothes on and got inside the covers. The bed felt really nice. 'Of course,' I thought, 'these people got nothing but the best.'

Dippy extinguished the candles and walked out. As soon as Dippy left, a strange kind of feeling crept upon me. It was like when we were on the run. I was again feeling scared to sleep lest somebody would attack. I clutched my wand and lit the candles again. The illumination helped but only a little. I could not make myself go to sleep. That night, I spent the entire time sitting on the bed, my knees drawn close, wand in hand.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

The next morning, as the faint light of dawn entered the room, I was still sitting with my eyes wide open. After some time, I slowly got up and walked to one of the windows and pulled the curtains open. It was cloudy again today. I slowly walked back and sat on the edge. I was still sitting there when I heard some sound outside the door. I immediately drew my wand. All the tiredness had suddenly disappeared. I slowly inched towards the door. The noise seemed to be coming from the kitchen. I opened the door as slowly as possible. I peeked in and stopped short in my tracks. Dippy looked up from the pots, saw me and bent half way. Then she completely went stiff and suddenly jerked up as if an invisible hand had pulled her. Her eyes were terrified as she looked at me. I smiled at her. "Good morning. I see it is going to take some time." She smiled, if you could call it so, and murmured a good morning to me.

Relief had flooded me to see it was just her. I slumped on one of the chairs. It would turn to paranoia if I didn't control it. But then again it wouldn't be easy if I had to stay here for weekends and to think of it, it was just the first day. Now I was really tired. I put my head down on the table.

"Is Mistress not feeling well?"

"What?" I jerked up. I was feeling really sleepy now. Dippy was standing right next to me looking concerned. "No Dippy, I just couldn't sleep so I'm just a little sleepy now."I replied putting my head back on the table.

"Mistress can eat and then go to sleep. Dippy has finished cooking." With that, she turned and started putting plates and stuff on the table. After five minutes, she was done. I looked up and saw a table full of food, an assortment of all kinds of things. "Um… Dippy, who else is joining us?"

Dippy looked at me, clearly perplexed by my question. "I mean, all this food, it is not just for me, is it?"

"Dippy cooked all this for Mistress. Dippy didn't know what Mistress likes." She replied.

I looked at the amount of food. It could probably feed seven to ten people. "For the next time onwards, you can cook only one thing for me. Anything, but just one, not so many stuff. Okay?" I looked at her and she nodded. I pulled a plate of bacon and eggs and a toast and started eating.

After I finished eating, I went back to the room and flopped on the bed and immediately fell asleep. Having instructed Dippy to not let anyone inside the room as long as I was asleep, not even Malfoy, I felt a little safer.

When I woke up, it was two thirty in the afternoon. I freshened up and pulled on my regular pair of jeans and a t-shirt. As soon as I came out, Dippy started putting up my lunch. I ate in complete silence. This elf was a great cook. After I had my food, I walked towards the second room. This I had not seen last night. Inside I saw the same colors. There was a comparatively small bed on the left wall. There were a few shelves filled with potion books on the right. On the far end was a door which I guessed was the bathroom.

Having seen the room, I returned to my books and parchment to complete my Ancient Runes essay. I sat down in the living room and started. After completing that I decided to read the next transfiguration chapter. By the time I finished that, it was already dinner time. I went down to the kitchen and sat down. Immediately Dippy started putting up food in front of me. As I started eating, I realized I hadn't seen Malfoy since last night. "Dippy, hasn't master Draco returned?"

Dippy shook her head, ears flapping and replied, "Master Draco often is gone for days."

"Gone where?"

"To work." Dippy replied like stating the obvious. I stared in her direction. 'Malfoy works? First an argument with his mother, now this?' This definitely wasn't sounding like the Malfoy we knew. So who was this? 'Maybe an imposter.' I thought that was a high possibility. But then again, it was also a good thing; I wouldn't have to tolerate him much.

After finishing my dinner and again ordering Dippy to not let anybody in the room, I went back to the master bedroom, changed and fell asleep. I had to say that having house elves definitely had a few advantages. Kreacher had helped Harry to renovate Grimauld Place. He had, for once, ignored even Mrs. Black.

The next morning I got up early. I hadn't felt the need to sit it out, yet I somehow still couldn't sleep well. I got up and walked to the bathroom, when I came out, I saw a clean set of uniform on the bed along my bag and a duffle bag, packed with my regular stuff and toiletries. I dressed and walked out to find that Dippy had already prepared breakfast for me. I checked the time, it was seven twenty five. So I still had about half an hour to return. Thankfully, today's breakfast consisted of only sandwiches. "Good morning Dippy."

"Good morning Mistress." She replied with a smile while setting a plate in front of me. I ate quickly. The feeling of returning to school, away from this place was slowly getting stronger. Getting up from the table, I went to the living room and grabbed my bags.

"Mistress can leave her bag here. Dippy will take it back to school." Dippy said eyeing me with the bags. Obviously, she was used to doing everything. But with me it would be different.

"It's okay Dippy. It's a small bag; I won't have trouble carrying it." I smiled at her.

She nodded and then replied, "Dippy will take care of it from the next week." I realized there was no stopping this elf. Something that I had learnt over these years was the fact that the elves loved to work; there was simply no doubt about it. So I smiled and said, "Okay, you can take care of my bag from next week, but I'll carry my school bag myself." Then after wishing her a goodbye, I threw a pinch of floo powder into the fireplace and stepped into it. The last thought that came to my mind was that I still hadn't seen Malfoy.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Returning to school was relieving. In some sorts, it was like being able to breathe again. Dippy was nice but that was still a part of Malfoy Manor and a place where Malfoy lived. I knew, even apart the marriage, it was time to unify and find hope and peace together. Yet it was no one else but Malfoy I was paired with, the boy who had done everything to make my life a living hell.

Stepping into this cottage I felt far more at home. I looked around the all white surrounding thinking I needed to do something about it. Then suddenly and idea occurred. I would change everything into Gryffindor colors. 'My place, my rules.' It would be one place I could exert my dominance over, making it an even play. I smiled at myself, walking towards the door. 'Tonight, I'll redecorate it.'

Ginny had still not returned and I headed towards the library to get a few books. At eight, I went to the Great Hall and almost immediately Ginny came up behind me. We were joined by Susan and Luna, who had been married to Neville only the previous day. "He'll stay with me for a month and then resume his tour. But he'll keep returning on the weekends." She told us. She still had that dreamy tone, although we all noticed the blush that crept up her cheeks. The entire day was rather hectic. One month, and we were already feeling the strain. We were again assigned enormous amounts of homework. So when I returned to my cottage that night, redecorating it was the last thing on my mind. I had been able to talk to Ginny only at dinner and now sitting in the cottage with my potions essay to be done, I was thinking about it.

"So he actually took you to the Manor?" Ginny had asked looking a little uneasy with the thought of the place.

"No, not the Manor, but it's in the same premises. It's a cottage on the southern side."

"That place has a cottage too?" sounding surprised.

"A recent addition from what Dippy told me." When she looked at me with confusion, I realized she obviously didn't know, so I filled her in. "She's the house elf that Malfoy has…. Okay listen, according to Dippy Malfoy had an argument with his mother and had wanted to move out, but stayed back because she didn't want him far from her. Ever since then, he has been living in that cottage. That's not all, Dippy also told me that he worked and is often gone for days because of it. He said I had to return there for weekends because he did not wish to mess with the Ministry and that I wouldn't be disturbed there, that I'd be absolutely safe." I scoffed. Then remembering, added, "But you know what, I haven't seen him since Saturday night."

Ginny was looking at me, listening intently. Then she turned towards her food saying, "That's strange."

"I know," I replied."Narcissa Malfoy had ordered Dippy to be with Malfoy but he ordered her to constantly be with me while I was there. Didn't bother me, or insult me either."

"Too early to say though, but seems like a change of heart or a way to find their way out of the mess they are in. After all, they don't have any influences like they previously did. We hate them for being Death Eaters and the Slytherins hate them for being cowards. And the Ministry will try not make a fool of themselves by believing the story of being Imperiused this time. Either way, they are an outcast now. So maybe, just maybe, he realized it. Though it's difficult to be sure, it's Malfoy after all."

True, it was too early to say anything, it was Malfoy after all. I sighed thinking that now it was expected that we would be spending our entire life with each other. 'Yeah, maybe at each other's throats.' I thought sarcastically. Then pushing his thought out, I pulled my attention back to the present work.

That entire week, I was so busy with my work that the thought of redecorating the cottage had simply slipped out of my mind.

Friday night when I returned to the cottage, I was surprised to find Dippy there. As soon as I entered I was met with a smile on her face. "Good evening Mistress." No bowing. So finally my order had worked. I smiled at her; she really was sweet after all. "Good evening Dippy. What are you doing here?" I asked putting my bag on an armchair and moving towards the room. I really needed a bath.

"Dippy is here to take Mistress home." I was almost at the bedroom door when I spun around. "Home?" I asked tentatively.

"It's Friday night. Mistress is supposed to come home and Dippy is supposed to carry Mistress' things."

"I have to go there on Friday nights?" I asked blankly. Dippy just nodded.

'Right now? Why hadn't I thought of it?' of course, even Ginny and Susan went away on Friday nights. The thought of returning there brought back a sense of panic. Last weekend I didn't have to face Malfoy. But I knew I couldn't be that lucky every time. More of all, this entire arrangement was made so that the newlyweds could spend time with each other. That was a different matter that I was presently an exception to the case.

"I think I'll go tomorrow morning Dippy. I have some work that I need to finish here. I'll be there for breakfast." There was no way that I was spending three whole nights in that place.

Dippy very reluctantly left after five minutes. But before she left she said she would take care of my things, so all that I had to take with me was my books. As soon as she left, I went to take my bath. I needed to relax. I stood under the shower for a few minutes, then got out and went to sleep. If I was going back there, I knew I would have to get enough sleep now. And tomorrow morning I would visit the library and get myself a few books to keep me occupied for two days.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Next morning I woke up early and as soon I as I had opened my eyes, the dread seeped in. I reluctantly got out of bed and got ready. At eight, I went down to the library and found two books on advanced transfiguration and charms. Then I got back to my cottage and reluctantly flooed to my least favorite place on earth.

When I stepped down from the fire, I could smell the bacon and eggs. Since I was hungry, I realized I had to get down to the kitchen. I was only hoping that Malfoy wouldn't be there. But as I stepped inside, I realized it was one of my bad days.

It was the first time after our wedding night, when he had first brought me here, that we were coming face to face. I really didn't know how to react. All of a sudden, I did not feel like eating anymore. Malfoy was sitting there at the table, reading the Prophet. I slowly walked around the table and took the seat farthest from him. When he heard the scraping sound of chair, he looked up and acknowledged me with just a nod. Dippy brought us our plates. It smelled good, but I had really lost my appetite. I was intently staring at my plate in an attempt to look anywhere but Malfoy. After about five minutes, Dippy spoke up.

"Does Mistress wish to eat something else today?" she was looking at me as if she had committed some grave crime.

"What?" I said coming out of the stupor. I looked around; Malfoy was staring at me with blank gray eyes. I returned my gaze to Dippy and tried to reassure the poor creature. "No, no. It's absolutely fine. I- I was just thinking, that's it." I turned towards my plate and ate a mouthful. I could feel Malfoy's gaze on me. I kept stuffing my mouth with food and telling myself to chew and gulp. After about two minutes, Malfoy slowly got up and left. I gave a sigh of relief. If this was how my weekends would be, then I definitely wouldn't be looking forward to it.

For the rest of the day, I did not see him and Dippy informed me that he had gone out without saying when he would return. I only hoped it was after I returned to school on Monday morning. That night after dinner, when I went down to the walk-in closet to find my clothes, I realized that Dippy hadn't gone and retrieved them from the cottage at school. On the other hand, my rack was completely filled with new dress robes and muggle clothing.

"Dippy?" No sooner than I spoke, the elf appeared beside me. "Yes mistress?"

"Where are my clothes? Didn't you bring them from school?"

"Master Draco asked Dippy to tell Mistress that all these clothes are for her." She walked up to the rack and brought a new set of shorts and tank top and handed them over. "Master Draco says Mistress can wear these clothes when she is here." I looked at Dippy. It was surprising to see the way she talked about her master. It was a stark contrast to what Dobby had been like. Dippy seemed to genuinely like Malfoy, a matter that greatly surprised me.

I looked at the clothes Dippy had handed me. Though I did not wish to wear anything that Malfoy had bought, I saw no other option. I hadn't brought my stuff and none of the clothes that I had previously were fit to sleep in. So, with no other option available, I put them on. After flicking off the light I fell on the bed though it was hours before I could actually fall asleep.

Sunday morning I realized Malfoy was still not back. Very good news for me. The weather was murky, so I sat the entire day in front of the fireplace doing my home work, then proceeded to read one of the books. By the time of dinner, when Malfoy still hadn't returned, I was sure he would return only when I left. He did not wish to see me, not that I was complaining, but when I thought I was married to him, it did make me feel bad. I, like all girls, had wanted a loving husband. Here I was in a relation where the two hardly wished to see each other's face. 'And the Ministry expects a child in one year. Well that will take a miracle.' I returned to my room, changed and fell back on the bed, too tired to even pull the covers.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I was face down on a cold floor. A maniacal laughter could be heard. I strained to open my eyes. The pain in my body and head was blinding. I pried one of my eyes open with great difficulty and found Bellatrix standing over me, wand in hand. "Tell me where did you find that sword?"

"I ….. I…. d-don't…" but before I could complete that sentence, a searing pain shot across my body, blinding me and rendering my brain numb. I was writhing in pain. It was unbearable. I wanted it to stop but it just wouldn't. I felt like my brain would split in two…. The pain just came again and again, refusing to stop or subside. I was gasping for breath. All of a sudden I felt a hand shaking me. The hands were rough and I was being shaken vigorously, yet the touch was warm and gentle. I was slowly calming down. Someone was here to save me. I had to only open my eyes to see who my savior was. I tried to open my eyes, but couldn't. I felt something warm on my lips, it went down my throat and then everything became calm, every image faded into a darkness.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I opened my eyes next morning and looked around the room. Where was I? I was feeling like I had slept for a very long time. "Mistress must hurry or else she will be late for school." I jumped at the sound, and then focused on the object. It was staring at me with shining blue eyes. I sat up and looked again. Realizing who it was, I said, "Dippy?"

"Mistress has only ten minutes to return to school." School? I was rubbing my forehead trying to remember what was going on and then it came. "Oh my God! I'll be late for school!" I jumped out of the bed and dashed towards the bathroom. Thank heavens, Dippy had my uniform ready. I quickly brushed, took a quick bath and put on my uniform. I dashed towards the fireplace. Dippy was standing there with my bag and a pot of floo powder. With only a minute to spare, I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulders while grabbing a pinch of floo in the other. I threw it and clearly stated my destination. As I spun on the spot, I thought I caught a glimpse of blond hair standing in front of the other room.

Once in the cottage, I sprinted towards the Great Hall. When I got there, Ginny and Susan were already seated and having breakfast. I approached them and sat down beside Ginny and facing Susan. Breathless from running across the ground, I sat and took a few breaths to calm myself. When I noticed, Ginny was staring at me. "How come you are late? You, I know you are an early riser." She was still looking at me worried.

"I don't know. Dippy woke me up at quarter to eight. I really don't know how I overslept." I replied while turning to grab a toast.

"Hermione, was everything alright with Malfoy?" it was Susan.

"Yes. As a matter of fact I didn't even see him there apart from Saturday morning at breakfast. Then he was gone. I just don't know, I can't remember anything from last night and I don't sleep like that when I'm there." I replied exasperated. It was true. I remembered going to bed but then I couldn't remember anything else. It was frustrating. Ginny looked at me for a few more seconds and then changed the topic.

"So, did you complete the transfiguration essay?" she asked. I nodded. Susan too nodded, and then added after a few seconds. "Actually Ron tried helping me with that. I had to redo the entire thing all over again." She had a sweet smile on her face as she talked about him. I smiled back. I was happy that Ron had found her and that the two of them were doing well. "My sympathies." I replied mockingly. "If he keeps helping you out, you are definitely in for a lot of extra work."

After breakfast, the three of us walked to class together, all the way talking about Ron. It was good to know that the two of them had so easily become so close to each other. The talk brought my attention back to Malfoy. I quietly let out a sigh. I was not a believer in fairy tales but I, like all the girls, had thought about my husband to be at least loving and caring. When I saw what I actually had, it really pained my heart. I didn't wish to stay in the same room or talk to the man I had to call my husband, leave apart kissing or fantasizing about what all he could do to me with a simple touch. I couldn't even think of the man as a friend. In the last few days when ever the thought crossed my mind, just for a second, I had unconsciously gripped my wand harder.

"Are you okay Hermione?" It was Ginny. We had reached our class and Susan had already left.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I tried to sound convincing. I walked up to our bench and made to sit down when Ginny grabbed my arm and made me turn. Looking straight into my eyes she asked, "Did he try something?" For a moment I tried to understand what she was talking about. She was looking really serious and concerned.

"What?" Then realizing it a few seconds later I responded, "NO! No Ginny. It's not like that." I sighed and sat down, she sat down beside me. "Like I said, he doesn't even stay while I'm there." I said looking at my hands on the desk. I did not wish to look at her, afraid that she would see what I really was feeling a moment ago. "I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he is my husband now, that's it." It wasn't a complete lie, but I didn't feel like telling the truth either. Then again, maybe I didn't need too. She was a friend who understood me. She could probably understand what I was going through. At that moment Professor entered the class and we turned our attention to it.

As the week progressed, the loneliness started to press harder. Susan and Ginny both had things to say about their new lives and all I could do was sit and listen to them with a smile on my face. I knew it was not the case and never would be, but still somewhere down in my heart I felt I had separated from the Weasley's. It was probably because I was already feeling so low. So, to keep my mind occupied, I decided to study harder, at least that would keep me occupied.

On Thursday however, even pouring into the books did not help. We were sitting at the breakfast table as usual, when an owl swooped down in front of Ginny. "It's from Harry." She said checking the letter. "That's strange, he doesn't need to write letters. He comes down every night." reading the letter. When she read around half it, she squeaked. I looked at Susan, she just shrugged and we turned our attention towards the now blushing girl. She had a huge smile plastered across her face. When she had finished reading the letter, she took a deep breath and turned and looked at both of us before hugging me and giving another happy squeal. After about two minutes when she had calmed down, she said, "Harry is coming here tomorrow evening and he's taking me somewhere for the weekend."

"Oh Ginny, that's awesome!" I gave her a small hug. I was really happy for her. It would be the first time that Harry and Ginny would be able to do something romantic. They had hardly ever had the time or situation to do what couples usually did at our age. Harry had always been living with a constant danger lurking around the corner and Ginny had always supported him. It was a well deserved break for both of them.

The entire day, she was so ecstatic that it was contagious. And even though for a moment I had felt that it was something that I would never have, I could not help but smile every time she blushed.

Friday, she went ecstatic to frantic. "Relax Ginny. It's not like you are going on a date for the first time. For heaven's sake, you are married to that guy!" We were sitting for our lunch and I and Susan were trying to calm her down. She was hardly eating anything and hyperventilating every five minutes.

"Come on now Ginny. You guys are married almost a month now and I'm sure there's nothing new by now." Susan turned to look elsewhere in a bid to hide her smile while Ginny blushed even harder.

I turned on my seat to face Ginny. "Ginny, really, but you should be happy. If things had been normal then I'm sure Harry and you would have dated like ordinary couples, and then proceeded to more serious things. But since it has never been that way and you guys are now married, just enjoy it. and," I said turning towards my plate, "I'm sure you would never have to worry about being judged by Harry on any front, not because of what he's like but because you mean a world to him and I'm sure he's trying to make up for the lost time." Ginny stared at her plate for a few minutes and then replied, "You're right. I should stop thinking and start enjoying."

We ate our dinner a little early that evening. Once the dinner was done, the three of us went down to Ginny's cottage. She had already packed the previous night, so while she went down to change we made ourselves comfortable. After fifteen minutes or so, Harry arrived. He came down and lightly pecked Ginny on her lips. Then after greeting Susan, gave me a small hug. "Hey. How is everything with Malfoy?"

"Considering that it has been two weeks of the marriage and we both are alive, I think we are as good as anybody can hope." I replied. Ginny went inside to get her bag.

"Ginny told me about the cottage. I don't know what this is all about Hermione, but if you need any help, just call us okay? Ron too is very worried about you. We don't want you hurt in any way."

"You don't have to tell me you guys are there for me, I already know that and really, I'm fine." Ginny came up with her luggage and I turned towards them and said, "Now stop thinking about the world and being a savior and just enjoy your trip." Harry just smiled.

After a round of hugs, they departed. Susan and I, we made our way towards our own places. "Are you going to Malfoy's tonight?" Susan asked when we were outside my cottage.

"No, I don't think so. Why?" I asked.

"Just like that." She replied averting my eyes. "Actually, I was thinking of going down to the shop to surprise him."

"That's really nice. You should go." I replied.

"Okay, see you on Monday then. Bye, good night."

"Good night." I watched as she walked towards her cottage.

I went inside and changed. I sat down in one of the armchairs in front of the sofa. It was still early and I did not feel like reading anymore. I was feeling really lonely, when all of a sudden an idea struck me. Although it meant that I would have to go there early, but at least I would have Dippy's company and I had really started liking the house elf. I grabbed my bag and flooed to the cottage at Malfoy Manor.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

When I got there, Dippy was as usual in the kitchen. When she heard the floo, she came out. Upon seeing me, the smile she gave was evident of her pleasure on seeing me. "Good evening Mistress."

"Good evening Dippy." I smiled back. Though I was still feeling a little lonely, it was good to know that someone, even though a house elf, was happy to see me and waited for my arrival every weekend. The last few days I had been feeling so lonely that the small amount of attention felt really good.

"Where's Master Draco?" I asked. I knew as soon as he found I was here, he would find some reason to stay away from here for the rest of the weekend. Not that I had a problem with it, but that would mean I would still be lonely with only a house elf for company. On one hand, I wanted company. That was the reason I was there because I couldn't go to my friends. On the other hand, I didn't want the company of the man who was supposed to spent time with me, who owned the place I was presently standing in.

"He hasn't returned from work. Does Mistress want to eat?" she asked the smile still prominent on her face.

"No thanks, Dippy. I already had my dinner." I put my bag down and immediately it was carried to the room by her. I watched her walking towards the room and smiled. This was exactly what I had always said, a little attention and affection was all they needed. Slowly the whole wizarding world world would realise that and the elves themselves would want to have their own amount of freedom. I sat down on the armchair as Dippy was returning. She went back to the kitchen to finish whatever she had been doing while I sat there watching the flames.

It was the third week that I was here. It was nearing a month and my married life had been as nonexistent as before the marriage except for the fact that now I had to come and live here for the weekends. Whereas Harry and Ron were doing pretty well. Actually it was wrong to consider Harry like that. Ginny and Harry had always liked each other. Harry had not thought about anyone else after finding his affection for the red haired girl. So it was more about Ron. He had hardly known Susan yet they had proceeded into their marriage. They had found their affection for each other. Neville too had said he'd always return on the weekends to be with Luna.

It was like the Yule ball in some ways, when no one had even considered me. If it hadn't been for Viktor, I probably would have sat the night out in the dorm. I sighed. I had never thought my relation with books would hamper my relation with humans like this. I knew Malfoy had only married me because of the law. He had made it very clear that he didn't wish to meddle with the Ministry. But I could still not understand why he didn't choose any pureblood and marry her. If he didn't rely on the Ministry then why wait for it to provide him with a pair.

Moreover, there was this child thing looming over our heads. I closed my eyes and laid back. How the hell were we going to bring a child in a year if we hardly wished to stay in the same room for more than five minutes? The worst part was I knew Malfoy would never think of touching a muggleborn. It was already strange enough that this pureblood family had a muggleborn witch married into the family. Lucius Malfoy would never accept a half blood as his heir. I knew it was strange enough but what was more surprising was the fact that I had actually been thinking about Malfoy and myself and I wasn't feeling as disgusted with it as much as I probably should. So either I was losing it, or my inferiority complex was at an all time low that it would allow me to even accept some kind physical feeling with Malfoy.

I put my head down on my hands. This was going to get worse. This was something that my friends couldn't help me with. I was nineteen, still in school, married and my so called husband was obviously not interested in me. I had always been there for people, whether that be Harry, Ron or Ginny. After the war, I stood by Ron when he was recuperating from Fred's loss. I had always stood with my head held high; never letting people realize the amount of pain it sometimes caused me. I needed someone for myself, someone who would love me, care for me. Someone I could lean and rely on, where sometimes I was the one being pampered and here I was stuck in a loveless marriage.

I checked the watch; it was a few minutes past eleven now. I slowly got up and walked towards the bedroom. "Is Mistress going to bed?" Dippy asked from the kitchen's doorway. I wonder what she did there all the time.

"Yes, good night." I smiled. Then all of a sudden it occurred to me. "Um… Dippy, do you know when will Master Draco be returning?"

Dippy just shook her head. "No, Master Draco does not tell Dippy when he'll be returning. For what Dippy knows Master may not return tonight."

I nodded. "Okay Dippy, you too go to sleep. Okay?" she nodded and I walked into the bedroom. After changing, I got under the covers. I lay there; eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

I'm not sure how long I was lying there when I heard the door outside open. There were muffled sounds. I realized that one was Malfoy's. But I couldn't quite place the second one. It was deeper so it definitely wasn't Dippy's. I grabbed my wand from the bedside table and tiptoed to the door. It was clearer and I could now make out the words.

"- will work fine. We just have to make sure we don't run short of the ingredients." Malfoy said.

"Are you absolutely sure this will work. I mean the Zabini's aren't a name that people trust either."

"It isn't as bad as the Malfoy's Blaise. If people come to know I have an investment in there, they won't even turn and look at it for the second time." Blaise… Blaise Zabini. I remembered he was in our batch. They were in the same house at school but Zabini's family was never actively involved in the war.

"Yeah, you are probably right about that." Zabini replied.

"Hey, today's Friday night, isn't she going to be here?" he added after a few seconds in a lower tone.

"I don't think so." Draco replied. "I think she comes here only for the weekends for the sake of keeping the pretense."

"Draco, you know it's not going to work like that. The law clearly states that there has to be a child in the first year itself."

"I know. I have been trying to find a way out of it."

"'A way out of it?' are you crazy? You know it's not possible! Even she wouldn't have found it, because if she did, you wouldn't be married."

"I'll find a way out Blaise. She'll never be happy in this relation and she deserves better than this."

"It will only bring trouble for you and nothing else."

"I'm already neck deep in trouble Blaise, for the past two years. So I don't care about anymore trouble as long as they keep her out of it and I keep out of Azkaban."

"Really Draco? You are ready to mess with the Ministry again just to get her free from this?"

"She'll be happy that ways. You should see her when she's here. She's always tensed, I can feel it. She needs to stay away from this place. It has too many bad memories for her."

"I can't believe it's you talking about her. The last time I checked you wanted her dead."

"The last time I checked I realized how lucky Weasley and Potter actually are, especially Weasley."

"Draco, are you sure of what you are trying because I'm starting to think that you—"

"I know what I want and what exactly I'm trying Blaise." Draco cut across.

"Okay, if you are fine with it so am I. It's your call after all." Blaise said after a few seconds. "Anyway, I should head back home. Bye, good night."

"Yeah, good night."

I stood at the door breathing heavily. I definitely hadn't expected that kind of a conversation. I heard the door shut and it snapped me out of my trance. I quickly ran to the bed and got under the covers and tried to calm my breathing. I may have a thousand questions in my mind right now, but of one thing I was pretty sure and that was that Malfoy would not be happy to know that I had been eavesdropping on his conversation.

Surely after about a minute I heard the door to the room open and I heard the footsteps stop at the threshold. I was concentrating on keeping my breathing normal and kept hoping that he wouldn't hear my frantic heart beats. After some time I heard the footsteps slowly move towards the door to the bathroom. I waited with bated breath. After a few more minutes I heard them slowly retreat towards the door where it stopped again. Then all of a sudden the door closed shut.

Whether he was in the room or out I didn't know. I kept my breathing slow, trying to hear any noise within the room. When a few minutes passed and I didn't hear anything, I slowly opened my eyes and scanned the room. It was empty. I drew a deep breath and sat up straight, a million things running through my mind.

'Malfoy is trying to get out of this relation.' It was my first thought. But then again he had said I deserved better and I shouldn't be living here. He understood that this place held bad memories for me, whether from my reminder or that he himself remembered the incident, I would never know. What had got my attention so strongly was the fact that his voice had not sounded cold as usual, but it had held emotions, something that I realised was not a common thing. That was really nagging. I had never seen Malfoy thinking about anyone apart from himself. Now he was talking about Ron and Harry being lucky. I thought about the conversation again and I remembered the part where he had said he was trying to find a way out of this marriage because I wouldn't be happy. And for that he was ready to face the wrath of the Ministry. I scoffed. 'Wow!' I thought. 'Under normal circumstances I should have been ecstatic that my husband thinks so much about me, but now it...' I thought how exactly I felt right now. 'Confused? Because it led to even more questions in my mind about him. I was already in two minds about everything that was going on and the things that I was feeling. Our situation was strange. Now that i was thinking about it, I realised that this was the first place I thought of coming to when I felt lonely.

I couldn't have gone to the Burrow, it would have raised a lot of questions. More over, I hadn't seen anybody since my wedding. I could have gone to my parents, but I would have to explain things there too. I had wanted company so I came to Malfoy's place but I didn't want him here. I rubbed my forehead. This really was confusing. It was like I didn't know what I wanted.

And on top of it I could feel there was something else that I was feeling, hurt. Why would I feel that? I should be happy to know that he was trying to find a way out of this mess. I had tried to do the same when I got the letter from the Ministry. This was something that we both wanted, so why did it pain? 'Because now you know for sure that even though you both are married, that man doesn't want you.'

True. I felt bad at that. Ron and I had never been able to move further than just kissing. He had first been busy with dealing with Fred's death, and then we were busy repairing the castle, finding my parents and all sorts of things. The little time we got, was spent with our respective families since we had been away from them for so long. We needed that bonding after loosing so many people to the war. We had needed our families, the familiarity. When finally we got time to be together, we realized it wouldn't work. Things had changed. We had changed.

But somewhere deep down, I wanted to share my time with someone. I wanted someone to be special to me. I wanted to be special to someone.

I flopped on the pillow. It seemed everything was going against me. The more I tried to convince myself that I was strong, the worse the situation was getting. After that I couldn't actually hold back the stream of tears that had been threatening to break away for the last few days. So I cried, hoping that the tears that escaped would take my confusion and pain with them and my tear soaked pillow would wake me tomorrow with a clear head and a clear perspective of all things.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

* * *

><p>The next morning by the time I woke up, it was already ten and as Dippy informed me Malfoy had already left. After the breakfast I stood at the window of the living room. I had never peered through it before. Now standing there I realized that the Manor was not very close. I felt trapped. I knew I could go back to school. But without Ginny, it would seem lonelier and here I would dare not step outside. The memories were still fresh. I returned to the kitchen. Sitting down on one of the chairs I asked Dippy, "Doesn't anyone come here from the Manor?" In all this time, I hadn't seen or heard about Malfoy's mother. As a matter of fact, the trail was the last time that I remember seeing her.<p>

"No. Mistress would never step a foot here. Master Draco doesn't wish it either." Well that was interesting. Narcissa Malfoy had lied to Voldemort just for her son. Now things seemed to be pretty strained. I filed that bit of news to think about later, concentrating on what was currently on the forefront of my mind.

"Tell me about your Master Draco, Dippy. What is he like?" I asked.

"Master Draco is a very nice man, Mistress. He often gives Dippy free time. He even treats Dippy better than Master did." Immediately she squeaked, her eyes turning large.

"You are not allowed to hurt yourself Dippy." Merlin, even such a small sentence like that could make them feel they deserved punishment.

After making sure that she was not going to bang her head, or iron or burn her hands, I turned my attention to what I had just learnt. Malfoy was treating elves better, at least better than his father. He was thinking about people, if I consider what I had heard last night and actually talking sense. This was definitely not the Draco Malfoy who went around bullying people at school. Maybe the war had actually changed him. But so much? It was a question that was really difficult to answer. Can a person change so much in such a short span of time. I knew that we all had changed but Malfoy's was more like a transformation. The way he was behaving, the things that he was saying and doing, all these were very different from what I realize he grew up with. Again I wasn't there last year. I don't know the things he witnessed when Voldemort was here. And it wasn't just _Him_, but Bellatrix as well. That maniac was capable of a whole lot of things. So maybe the change wasn't in just a few months, maybe he had a year to change. That would make sense.

I sat back, satisfied. That was one thing that I had managed to sort out and reach a logical conclusion.

The rest of the day passed on the same. I tried studying but my mind was already full of other things. My mood didn't lift either. On the contrary, by the time I went to bed that night, it was only worse. I couldn't help the tears again. The entire day I could hold them back. But alone at night when I came to bed, the loneliness broke me down. I cried myself to sleep for the second consecutive day.

* * *

><p>Bellatrix was standing in front of me, wand in hand. Before I could realize, the pain had shot through me. It was unbearable. "Tell me where you found that sword." A pain shot through me again. I had fallen down, my face pressed to the ground. "Tell me." Bellatrix barked above me. I could hear Ron screaming. They had taken him and Harry away. I felt another shot of pain. My limbs were slowly starting to become numb. Somewhere below me Ron was screaming even harder. We would die, Harry would die and with him the only chance of defeating Voldemort. I would never see my parents again. Never.<p>

Ron was screaming louder. Were they doing something to him? No! Leave him. I wanted to tell them to not hurt him. No, No!

"NO!" I woke up with a start. I was drenched from sweating.

"Dippy!" I heard Malfoy call for the house elf. I snapped my eyes open. He was standing beside the bed, leaning; his hands on my shoulders as if to try wake me up. As soon as he saw me awake, he stood up straighter. From the corner of my eye, I could see my wand sticking out from below my pillow. The dream had left me anxious and twitchy. Dippy came running into the room and handed a small vial to Malfoy. He took it and extended it to me.

"Drink it." He either said that softly or I was having trouble in hearing.

"What's it?" I croaked.

"It's just a mild sleeping draught. It will help you sleep better."

I shook my head. Nightmare or not I wasn't going to take any kind of sleeping potions. "I just want some water."

Dippy immediately brought me a goblet. I drank and handed the goblet back. I saw Malfoy still looking at me. After a few seconds he sighed and said, "Okay, but I'm keeping the vial here," he said keeping it on the bedside table, "if you can't sleep, please take it. It will help you. Also, Dippy will be here throughout the night. So if you need anything, you can tell her."

"Dippy can go to sleep." I was not going to let the house elf suffer for my problems.

"Then take the draught at least." Malfoy replied exasperated.

I looked up to find him looking really concerned and wondered if he really was concerned about me or the fact that if something happened to me, then he probably would end up in Azkaban, if he survived Ron and Harry that is and probably Ginny too.

I shook my head again. He sighed again and left the room. After he left I asked Dippy to go back to sleep too. She went away reluctantly, shutting the door behind her.

I walked to the bathroom and splashed my face with water, then returned to the room. It was then that I noticed the condition of the bed. From its present condition I realized I must have been thrashing in my sleep. I straightened them up as much as possible and got under the covers. I had dreamt about Ron today. It was surprising because I always dreamt about being tortured myself. I had never seen Ron before. Even the last time I had had the dream…. When was the last time I had the dream? I vaguely remembered something about last week but couldn't be sure. I usually remembered when I had these dreams but last week's was really hazy.

I suddenly realized why. It was last Sunday. I was almost late for my classes on Monday. And now that I thought about it, I thought I had seen Malfoy while leaving for school. But I couldn't be sure. It was just at the last second. But it made sense. I had slept well that night after the dream, so maybe he had given me the draught. But how did he come to the room? I had asked Dippy to not let anybody in. But then as I thought about the day I realized I had not said any such thing that particular day. My instruction to not let anybody in was specifically for a night and after that I was so accustomed with not having Malfoy in the cottage that I had stopped giving that instruction.

So that meant Malfoy had seen this before. No wonder he was thinking that I shouldn't be here. But that was surprising still. After trying to calm myself for a long time, I again fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Next morning when I got up, it was only seven. But by the next half an hour in which I brushed, bathed and changed, Malfoy was already gone.<p>

I sat down for the breakfast.

"How is Mistress now?" Dippy asked putting a plate of French toast in front of me.

"I'm fine dippy." I started eating although my mind was not particularly in it. "Dippy tell me something. Did Master Draco give me the draught last Sunday?"

The look on her face was evidence enough that she knew something but was prohibited from speaking about it, and that was confirmation in itself. "That's all right. You don't have to answer that if you can't". There was no use in punishing her for something for which she wasn't even responsible.

So it was true. Malfoy had actually given me the draught. I really didn't know what to make out of it. On one side he seemed concerned for me, on the other hand the way he avoided me and the cold manner in which he usually spoke made me feel like an unwanted visitor. I finished my breakfast and sat down with my books. I had not been able to study anything the previous day.

I sat there first doing my Ancient Runes essay, and then studying the chapter that we were going to do this week. The only time I got up was during lunch and dinner. After dinner, I changed and again sat down in front of the fire to complete the chapter that I had started. I didn't actually realize when exactly had I fallen asleep.

I woke up to the sound of the floo and immediately sat up straighter, realizing that I had fallen asleep on the armchair. I grabbed my wand that was lying on the carpet near my feet. As I was picking it up I saw Malfoy stepping down from the fire.

I suddenly stood up and the book on my lap fell on the floor with a muffled thud. Malfoy looked down at the book once and then at my face. We were probably standing only two feet apart. He was looking at me like he had seen me for the first time. He was looking into my eyes like searching for something. It was a strange feeling. The fire was casting a glow on one side of his face accentuating his nose and his jaws. I couldn't help but stare back. If I put aside all the differences of all these years, I had to admit that he was good looking. He didn't have his traditional smirk plastered on his face. He looked better sans that. His eyes, I noticed, were different. I couldn't exactly put a finger on the emotion present in it. I didn't exactly get time to because in the fraction of second that I realized that he was moving towards me, he had already attached his lips to mine.

I gasped. His lips were soft, a complete contrast to his kiss which was hard and rough. It was demanding and he tasted like alchohol. While his left hand entangled in my hair, his right hand was moving over my back. Though my mind was screaming to push him away, my body refused to do its bidding rather responding to his touches. The wand slipped out of my grasp and my hands slowly dragged itself up his chest over his shirt. Malfoy took a sharp breath and pulled me flush towards him, deepening the kiss. I can't deny that it felt good.

After a few minutes, he hitched me, making me entwine my legs around his waist. He broke the kiss, looking at me. All of a sudden he started walking towards the bedroom. He put me down on the edge of the bed. He quickly stepped out of his trousers, throwing his shirt at a random direction, never taking his eyes off me. As for me my mind was moving in a slow motion. I wasn't prepared for this and my brain was not cooperating with me. By the time it had registered anything, a boxer clad Draco Malfoy had already pushed me on the bed. Where ever his skin touched mine, it felt like I was burning. I mentally cursed the hormones for making me feel and react like that. I should have at least some amount of self control specially when my dear husband, at present, had none.

His lips found the pulse on my neck and he began to suck on it. I grasped the sheets. Damn! It felt good. He moved down towards my collar bone pushing the straps of the top off my shoulders. He kept kissing and sucking for some time. Suddenly he came up, looked into my eyes for a few second and then leaned in and kissed me again. It was rough but not demanding anymore. After kissing me like that for a few minutes, he shifted over me. Lying next to me he pulled me closer. With one of his arms over my waist, his face buried in the crook of my neck he fell asleep within the next minute.

I lay there, under his arm, panting and staring at the ceiling, my mind reeling with a thousand things. Malfoy was drunk, of that I was sure. He must have acted under the influence of alcohol because only day before yesterday he had told Zabini that he was trying to find a way out of the marriage and today he was kissing me like it was so usual for us to do that. But then again, if he had done this because he was drunk, then his reaction in the morning was not going to be worth looking forward.

I could feel his steady breathing on my neck and thought that had it been someone else, under different circumstances, I would have been over the moon. What scared me was the fact that something had clicked in the last few minutes. I had liked a little the way Malfoy had touched and kissed me. More over I was starting to grow apprehensive of his reaction the next morning. I was realizing that it would hurt if he sneered and walked off and that was definitely not good news. I was not only letting myself be prone to his snide remarks but I, in the remotest part of my mind, was hoping that he would not walk away. But I wasn't sure what to do if he stuck back to discuss it either. My eyelids were starting to feel heavy. Slowly I drifted off to sleep in the warm embrace of Draco Malfoy.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

* * *

><p>Next morning when I woke up, Malfoy still had one hand wrapped around my waist. He was sprawled on the bed beside me on his stomach. I turned my head to look at him. His hair was rumpled and fell on his closed eyes. My mind was screaming the reality. I was on the same bed with Draco Malfoy, our former arch nemesis. I somehow couldn't say he was the same, not at the present moment at least. The boy who was so soundly sleeping beside me was nothing like how we had always known him to be.<p>

He looked so calm, something that I had never seen in him. For once, I realized, I was looking actually at Draco, the boy who probably was behind all that façade. And if I was true to myself, I had to admit that I actually liked him like this. I felt I could connect to this person. He felt more real at the present moment than he ever had, awake. If only he would always remain like this. But my rationality told me not to hold on to this.

The chances that when he woke up, he would sneer at me, tell me that I was desperate to get into his pants, was very high. I knew it, yet I did not understand why I kept feeling bad about it. I lay there staring at him, taking in his every line and contour of his body. I would do it as long as I could for I was aware that once he woke up, I would probably never be in the same position ever again. I felt like I wanted to know this person, know what he liked and what he disliked, learn about him, live in the normality that people were trying to find after the war. Live like the other couples did, sharing things and thoughts and ideas, learning to adjust with each other.

After what seemed like almost an hour, he stirred. I immediately tensed, bracing myself for the humiliating flow of words that I was sure was to come. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking them furiously like trying to remember something. Suddenly the grey orbs focused on me. For a moment they held my gaze, and then slowly moved down towards our bodies. I could feel him tense. Then the next second he had almost jumped out of the bed, like it burnt him, like the contact was going to infect him with something.

I heard him curse under his breath as he went about grabbing his clothes. He turned the knob and pulled the door fiercely. Before stepping out of the room, he said in probably his coldest of tones that I had heard, "You should get ready for school, or else you're going to be late." With that he walked out and shut the door behind him.

I lay there knowing his parting words were true and though he hadn't said anything about the situation he woke up in, his behaviour and his tone had said a lot. The humiliation of acting on impulse, without thinking left or right, was slowly creeping in. The tears started. I did not wipe them away. It would be better if I got over with now. I had five days of school before I would find time for myself again. This was something that I could not and would not share with Ginny. The girl could be understanding but I did not know what I'd tell her as to why I had allowed this in the first place. He had been drunk; I could have easily handled him. I couldn't tell her about my frustrations either, that was not in my nature. Of course I couldn't tell the others either. Ron would probably punch him on the grounds of sexual harassment. But he wasn't to blame, _I_ was. He was under the influence of alcohol, I was not. _I_ had let it happen. I should have stopped to think. When he had fallen asleep, I should have gone to the other room, or back to school. I had brought this on myself.

Slowly I dragged myself out of the bed. I brushed, bathed all the time tears running down and a continuous feeling gnawing inside me that I was dirty. I scrubbed myself, yet the feeling refused to go. Finally I gave up and got dressed. I didn't have to look into the mirror to know that my eyes would be red and puffy, so Ginny was bound to ask questions. But first things first, I had to get out of here.

When I got out of the room, Dippy was obediently waiting for me at the kitchen door. Without even glancing at her, I walked to the armchair where my bag had been last night. Dippy had obviously packed it because my Ancient Runes book was not on the floor where it had fallen. I picked by bag and my wand and grabbed a pinch of floo powder. Immediately Dippy spoke up, "Won't Mistress have breakfast?"

"No Dippy, I'm not hungry." And with that I was gone.

Once in the cottage, the tears started again. They simply wouldn't stop. This wouldn't do. I stood up, took a few deep breaths and wiped the few that still had escaped. 'I'm not going to think about it. Whatever happens, I'm not going to let it pull me down.' I repeated that a few more times in my head, willing myself to believe it and walked towards the castle, deciding that I would fight it out. I was not going to let Malfoy get to me like that. When I walked out of the cottage I was still not fine but there was one thing that I was sure of, I wasn't going back to that place.

* * *

><p>When I entered the Great Hall, Susan was already there. "Hey," I tried my best to give her a genuine smile. "Isn't Ginny back yet?" I sat down opposite her.<p>

"No. Not yet. Oh look! There she comes." I turned around to look at Ginny hurrying towards us. "Hey." She said flopping down beside me.

"So how was it?" Susan asking, her excitement clear on her face. Ginny smiled at us before replying, "As good as it can get if you fall sick."

"You fell sick?" I asked. Well now that I noticed she did look a little unwell. "Do you want to go see Madame Pomfrey?"

"We don't have time right now. But I have to go see her after the classes. Harry's going to come tonight to check if I got a check up." We bid Susan bye and started walking towards our class. Ginny, I noticed, was chewing her bottom lip absentmindedly.

"Blurt it out Ginny." If Ginny had a problem, it was better if she spoke up. Moreover, it would also provide me with a distraction and I needed that.

"What? Oh! Um….. Actually Hermione," I could see her fumbling though I did not understand what could get this girl fumbling. Ginny was not a fumbler.

She took a deep breath before turning around and looking at me. "Hermione I think I'm pregnant."

I turned blank for a moment. Then when that sunk in, I couldn't help the smile. I hugged her hard. "Oh my God Ginny! That is so awesome."

"Can't breathe." She said gasping. I immediately released her. "Sorry." But I couldn't stop the smile. This was it. This was the reason that would keep me at bay from all those thoughts. My best friend was having a baby; this was bound to keep me distracted.

"It isn't confirmed though. That is why I need to see Madame Pomfrey today." She said, while we started walking again.

"How did you guess?" I asked wondering. How does a person with no experience in the matter know about it?

"Well, after the wedding, Mum told me a few symptoms that were common. I was feeling a little uneasy for a few days, so I'm just guessing."

"Does Harry know about it?" I asked. He would be ecstatic.

"I'll tell him once it is confirmed. By the way, Angelina is pregnant too." She had this sweet smile on her face that I had never seen before.

"Really? How did George react?"

"He was okay, at least in front of everybody." She replied in a sigh.

"He'll be fine someday, you know? Someday he'll start living again." I said squeezing her hand softly as we sat down for our first class that day.

Ginny hadn't said anything to anybody, apart from me and Susan. Both of us went through the entire day in anticipation to what we'd come to know when we actually went down to the Hospital wing. By the time we actually got there, our anticipation had increased ten folds. After fifteen minutes Ginny walked out from behind the curtains with a broad smile plastered to her face. She didn't even have to say anything, her smile was enough. I squealed and gave her another hug before starting to walk back to our cottage.

"I really can't believe Harry's going to be a father." I said shaking my head while walking down the ground towards our cottages. "I mean it seems only yesterday that we were on the run, not knowing if we'd survive that day and now he'll have a kid who will probably be called 'the boy of the boy who lived'." Ginny rolled her eyes smiling.

"That sounds like Rita Skeeter's article."

Susan was waiting at the steps to her cottage. "So, what did Madame Pomfrey say?" she asked walking towards us. Ginny looked up at me once before turning red and replying very softly, "I'm pregnant." She was really taken aback because the in the next fraction of a second Susan had attached herself to Ginny. When Susan finally let go she said, "I better get back. I've been planning something for telling Harry about it."

"Do we want to know?" I asked looking at Susan to conform.

"I don't think so and even if you did, I'm not spilling my secret." I stuck my tongue out at her.

We waved at each other and retired to our own places. Once inside, I changed into my shorts. I didn't feel like going up to the castle again for dinner, so I decided to eat here itself. More over I was determined to keep myself busy. The days were not going to be a problem, but the nights definitely were.

* * *

><p>The next morning Susan and I were sitting at the breakfast table discussing how exactly had Ginny planned on breaking the news to Harry. It was fun sitting with your girlfriend speculating things like that. We were halfway through our breakfast when she walked in. Susan just arched an eyebrow as if to ask 'so?'<p>

"Oh! Fine, I told him. Just don't ask how because I'm not telling that." She said smirking at us.

"How did he react then?" Susan asked.

"He freaked out." She said smiling at something. When we looked at her quizzically she added, "He was happy but ever since he found out, he simply refuses to let me walk alone and tried feeding me like I was Hagrid. By the way, Harry wants you guys at Grimauld place this Saturday. He's going to ask Ron to take the day off." She said turning towards Susan. The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes operated seven days a week these days. It was basically to keep George occupied, though he told his parents that Sunday's were a day when people time to go around shopping. So it was a must to keep the shop open. And since Ron was helping out, he sometimes got stuck in the shop. Not that he complained. I suppose he felt close to Fred like that, being around a place that was setup partially with him and keeping George company.

"You think you can make it?" Ginny asked turning towards me.

"He's not holding me captive Ginny, nor am I a house elf of his that I would require his permission for every step I take. I'll be there." I said, genuinely smiling. Harry had no clue he had just provided me with a perfect excuse to stay away from that particular cottage for the weekend.

The week passed pretty quickly. The free time that we got now was spent in the library finding and reading books on babies and pregnancy, a part specifically set up for the senior students for this purpose. When I returned to the cottage after the day, I would be too tired and would just slip into my shorts and keep reading on the bed until I fell asleep. I would get up, get dressed and be back with the girls for the rest of the day.

Friday evening brought back the dreaded feeling and a rush of unwanted memories. Susan and Ginny had headed back home after the classes. I stayed back in the library until dinner time. I didn't feel like sitting alone at the Great Hall, neither did I feel like dining alone in the cottage. I decided on the former thinking at least I'd be surrounded by people. I was not left alone though. As soon as I sat down, Luna drifted towards me and sat down; stating that she found me alone and thought I'd like her company. I had to give it to this girl. Sometimes she could be a savior. We made small talk while eating after which I headed back to the cottage.

I had decided that I would not return to Malfoy's. So a bath seemed like a good idea after a long week. I really needed it. The last few days, though I had kept myself busy in other things, I always seemed to be tensed, not feeling relaxed at all at any point of time. Not even when I slept. The nightmares were getting more frequent. I let the hot water run and felt the nerves soothing slowly. I tried to push everything out of my mind and clear it completely. I was trying that a lot lately and had realized it wasn't the easiest thing to do. No doubt Harry had difficulty with it. After about ten minutes I stepped out of the shower and draped a towel. In the last few days I had either been at school or locked myself up in the cottage. Today I decided to take a walk near the lake. It was mid October. It wasn't raining and the night was cool with a clear sky. Some more time and everything would be covered in snow. It seemed like a good time to take a walk. Moreover, right now, it seemed like the best thing to do after the relaxing bath.

I walked over to the wardrobe and stared inside. It was entirely filled with regular day to day robes and sundresses and the like. I stared open mouthed at it, wondering where my usual clothes were and how come I had not noticed this before.

As I stared at the brand new clothes I realized that I hadn't opened my wardrobe for the past few days, only wearing my school uniform and then changing to my shorts after that. I had thought that these clothes were supposed to be at the cottage at the Manor. There was only one explanation to this. Dippy. She could be the only one to do it.

Damn. She had taken my clothes away and I hadn't even noticed it. Moreover what would I wear tomorrow? There was no way that I was wearing these clothes. I had to get back my clothes. I put on my shorts and t shirt. Then slowly called out, "Dippy."

The next moment there was a loud crack and there she was, standing in front of me with her usual smile.

"Mistress called Dippy?"

"Yes Dippy. Where are my clothes?" I asked.

"Dippy took them back to the cottage." Back to the cottage? Wonderful! "But why did you take all of them back?" I asked exasperated.

"Master Draco asked Dippy to exchange all the clothes in Mistress' wardrobes." She replied. She looked terrified like she had made some grave mistake.

I realized if Malfoy had asked her to exchange the clothes then it wasn't a good idea to send her back to get my clothes. Merlin only knew how he had framed that request. She would be stuck in between our orders and the only thing that she'd manage to do in the process was to hurt herself. My problems were mine to face. I wasn't going to hide behind an elf.

I got up from the bed walking towards the fireplace. I needed my clothes and I would have to get them myself. There was no way out of it.

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><p><strong>Finally the confrontation in the next chapter. Any guesses as to what happens?<strong>

**And a huge thank you to all my reviewers. You guys are awesome. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

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><p>When I stepped down from the fireplace, Malfoy, I realized, was pacing the length of the living room. As soon as he heard me, he looked up.<p>

"Grang—"before he could start talking I started walking towards the bedroom. I wasn't here to let him pass some snide remark that he had missed last time.

"Granger, please listen to me." He said following close behind me.

"Do I need to listen to anything else after what you did?" I replied coldly without stopping to look at him. I had to get my clothes and get out of here fast, or else I wasn't so sure I could hold back from hexing him. But then again he would deserve it.

"You don't understand—"

"Really?" now I spun around to face him. He really had the nerve to say that! "I don't understand? Even after the way you humiliated me?" I couldn't stop the tears that escaped from remembering the last time I was here. I felt ridiculous crying in front of him but I was humiliated enough. I was not going down without a fight. I wiped the tears away and continued, "I know you wouldn't 'dirty' yourself like that Malfoy. So you don't have to spell it out for me. I already know it, okay?" I spat the words at him and hurried towards the room. How in the world had i felt, even for a second, that he was worth liking or knowing.

He was faster, his seeker reflexes working immediately. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside. Closing the door behind us, he pressed me to the door. We were only an inch apart and his smell filled my nostrils, a mix of pine and an earthly smell.

"If I prove it to you that I did not mean to humiliate you, will you forgive me?" he asked in a low voice. He was holding on to my wrists so close to his chest that I could feel his heart beating frantically.( At least one feeling was mutual) I tried pulling my hands free, but his grip was too strong. If he hadn't been holding on to me like that, I would have surely hexed him. So instead of trying to free my hands, I turned my face away and shut my eyes. It didn't turn out to be a good idea. His face was so close to mine now that I could feel his breath on my skin. And although he disgusted me, I couldn't control the goose bumps from that small feel of his, the last incident clearly etched in my memory.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. This time, I would not let him catch me off guard. Once I was sure I was ready to speak, I said in the coldest tones possible to me, "You need to be sorry for me to even consider forgiving you. And I know, Draco Malfoy can never be sorry about hurting others, specially if that other happens to be me."

I don't know what I expected from him, because frankly I should have known to expect nothing. All those words that he had said to his friend, they were lies. He could pretend to be repenting for his deeds, say all the correct things, but I should have known that deep down he was still the same. It wasn't possible to forget seventeen years worth of garbage his father had drilled in him. he could try, but he would always get back to being the same person, someone I have always had reason to dislike, to hate and he would keep giving me new reasons everyday.

"Look at me." His breath was heavy and coming in pants. When I didn't, he stepped closer still, his body flush against mine. "Look at me." He repeated, his lips ghosting over my jaw and sending shivers down my spine. When I still didn't turn or open my eyes, he dipped his head, and slowly started trailing wet kisses along my jaw until he reached my ear where he nibbled and sucked. I couldn't stop the shuddering breath from escaping and I could feel him smile at my reaction. I felt like cursing him with the foulest of the words that I was aware of. Of course he would smile. If I am uneasy it's a matter for him to rejoice, specially when he is the reason behind the uneasiness.

"Hermione." It was not a demand.

It was a plea, a soft plea. I was so taken aback to hear him utter my name that I instinctively opened my eyes to meet his, just to be sure that it was him and not somebody else. Nose to nose with each other, his breath falling in pants on my lips, I had only a few seconds to look into his eyes. It was not enough time to register what it held. Lust? Want?

Before I had the time to think about it, for the second time, his head dipped and his lips crashed into mine. In the present circumstances, I had expected it to be rough and demanding. So it came as a surprise when his lips moved so softly against mine. It was soft yet there was a hidden passion. It was exactly what I had always imagined my first kiss to be like. Ron had always been gentle but lacked the fire and I found myself leaning into the kiss unconsciously. His hands left my wrist and while one entangled itself in my hair to draw me closer and deepen the kiss, the other found its way into the small of my back, slowly rubbing circles there.

That was probably the point where all coherent thoughts left my brain. There was nothing in this world that I could think about except responding to those lips. I forgot that I was frustrated at him, that this could lead me to more humiliation and that this time it could well stay on for life. I forgot that the person doing this to me was no other than the Draco Malfoy, that I was angry at him. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized, it was how it was supposed to be between two people who wanted to be together. For so many years I had saved myself to feel this, what I was feeling now.

There were so many, I dare say, hormones and emotions working at the same moment that it was impossible to distinguish one from the other. A small part of my mind was telling me that it couldn't be true, that he was playing with me again but I couldn't even ignore the way his lips were moving against mine. Could someone really fake these feelings too? The way he was making me feel now, I really wanted to believe that he cared for me. I wanted it to be it should have been if we hadn't been Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.

For five whole days, I had felt humiliated. I had been ashamed of the way I had behaved because his reaction had made me feel unwanted, it had made me feel cheap. I can't be called a relationship expert, but this was not how you treat someone who's married to you. We may not respect each other. But in this last month, I hadn't done anything that would out-rightly show disrespect either. So couldn't he give me that much?

I knew as Harry Potter's friend, my life would never be normal, but there are times I wish I have some normalcy. I just wanted to feel ...wanted, for what I was, just a normal girl of my age.

When the need for oxygen became too urgent, he reluctantly pulled back an inch. I inwardly groaned at the loss. The feeling was awesome and I was not yet ready to part with it. If this was the first and last time we'd be in such a situation, then I wanted it to happen, because I'm definitely not into infidelity. If I had to be with him for the rest of my life, then at no point would he be able to point a finger at me and say I had not upheld my vows.

Malfoy was probably of the same opinion about the kiss because he captured my lips again. Not breaking the kiss for even once, he pulled me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. How did he manage to do all that and not break the kiss even for a second, I have no idea, but I was glad nevertheless.

The next time he broke the kiss, it was to remove his clothes. Leaving only his boxers on, he climbed back on the bed to hover above me. For the next few minutes all he did was to stare at me, like he was memorizing every detail of my face. I, on the other hand, was so engrossed in his actions that I was hardly paying attention to my reactions. I had kissed him again, hadn't I? I knew I would have ample time to think about my reactions, to berate my self on allowing him to make a fool of me again. So, in for a knut, in for a galleon. The only thing that I wanted to think of right now was how his lips had felt on mine and how he had tasted like old wine.

After a while I started to grow a little anxious. Maybe he was going to jump out of the bed again. If that was the case, then I was doing it before him. I was certainly not giving him the satisfaction of doing that to me again. Although I liked our present positions, I tried shifting a little from under him. He must have sensed my thoughts because he brought his lips close to my ears to whisper only a single word huskily.

"Don't." The next second he started kissing my neck, slowly moving down towards my shoulders. The way he sucked and licked at my skin, I was sure it would leave a few marks behind. He was so sure of his ministrations that I could not help but think how many times and to how many people had he done this before. The thought brought back a feeling of jealousy. Here I was giving him my first experience. I did not like to think that someone else had been at the receiving end of this from him. But even the temporary feeling of jealousy could not stop me from gasping out loud as I felt his hand slowly move under my top. His hands were cold and yet they seemed to burn my skin as they slowly inched upwards. Slowly he bunched up the fabric in one hand while the other pulled me off the bed a little. In one swift motion, my shirt had been flung across the room somewhere. His hands were roaming my body, caressing and memorizing and wherever his hands went, his lips would follow.

My mind had lost track of time. I was hardly aware when and how the rest of our clothes had disappeared. He returned to kiss me again. It again was soft but started to grow needy by the second. I could not stop the urge to run my fingers through those blond locks that were a mess now. While my left hand found its way to those silky smooth locks, my right hand rested on the back of his neck. The deep throaty groan that I received on scratching there was like music to my ears. It felt good to elicit such a response from him, knowing that I was the one making him moan. He stopped kissing me and dropped his head into the crook of my neck; both our breaths heavy and coming in pants.

The feelings that I was experiencing right now were nothing like I had ever felt before. Ever since I had hit adulthood, I had thought of this day. The occasions were rare but sometimes alone in the dormitory at night, I would think of all the things that I wanted to do in response. But lying here, under him, all I could think about was him and how he was making me feel. I kept feeling that it wasn't enough. I wanted to feel all of him, wanted to know everything that he could do to me. Presently, I felt like I could stay like this forever.

Even though I wanted to feel more, I couldn't help gasping in surprise and dig my nails into his back as the knowledge of his arousal became evident. The fire that had started from a simple kiss was turning into an inferno. This was it, now there was no turning back.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

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><p>The next morning I woke up to the sun's rays streaming through the large windows directly on my eyes. I pulled the covers over my head to find some relief. It was then that I realized I had an arm across my waist and a steady breathing on my back. The realization that someone was spooning me flooded my mind with the memories of last night. I blushed deeply. Thankfully the person in question was still asleep. I tried shifting a bit so that I could get a little space between us and lie on my back. But a pain shot through me and I winced.<p>

So instead of trying to get away, I only turned so that I was on my back. I stretched a little. I was definitely sore. I would have to do something about it. I really had no intentions of limping around and making it so obvious. I turned to look at him. He had that same smile on his face that I had seen last time we were in a similar situation.. He seemed so contented. I slowly pulled out my hand and moved his hair out of his eyes. Then unable to resist myself, I ran my thumbs slowly over his cheeks, coming and resting on his lips. The same lips had kissed me last night; the same lips had made me lose control. I had this strong urge to kiss him again. I sighed, pulled back my hands and closed my eyes.

Now that my sensibility had returned, I was having difficulty in comprehending the events of last night. I had lost my virginity to Draco Lucius Malfoy. I was not someone who lost control that easily, yet I had been unable to resist him. His touch made me feel things that I had only read about before. I slowly opened my eyes again. He had said he was trying to find a way out of this marriage. But last night there had been no hesitation on his part. He had only stopped when he had felt my barrier break. He had looked shocked and had turned to stare at me. After that he had never looked away from my eyes. He had held my gaze for the entire time. The only time he had closed his eyes were to throw his head back as he had climaxed.

Last night I had seen a completely different person from the one I had always known. Last night had not been just about him, he had taken care of me too. He had done things to make it as important for me as I had felt I was for him. I was sure after last night; I would never regret that my first time had been with him. This was exactly the reason which was gnawing my mind this morning. I wasn't sure about the things I was feeling. It had not been some hormonal teenage boy having sex. It was a man making love to his wife for the first time. I may not have practical experience in this field, but my theoretical knowledge was still strong and I knew and understood the difference well enough.

It was just that I found it difficult to believe that someone who had despised me, wanted me dead, angered me; I had slept with that person and was feeling good about it. This couldn't be good. One day he comes back home drunk, almost takes my virginity and then wakes up in the morning to run away as if I was infected with spattergoit. Then within five days he actually makes love to me and I was not disgusted about it. On the contrary, I was feeling like kissing him again. This was getting more complicated than I had imagined it would be.

Last night when I had decided to let go and just live in the moment, I hadn't realised that the number of things running in my mind would contradict each other so much that it would become impossible for me to understand from where to start thinking.

A stirring next to me brought my thoughts back and I suddenly panicked. If he woke up right now, would he sneer again? No, he probably wouldn't do that. After all, this entire episode had happened because he had wanted to prove that he did not mean to hurt me that day. And though he hadn't said it, he had hinted that he was sorry.

I suppressed a snort. In the process of proving that he did not mean to hurt I was left sore in all the wrong places. I looked at him again and decided I needed to get out of bed before he woke up. Not because I was afraid of his reactions but for the fact that _I_ did not know how to react. It was possibly the second thing in my life that wasn't planned (if I leave out the ministry's decision of pairing us up), the first being the knowledge that I was a witch. Since everything about my life was always thought of before hand, I found myself at a very unwanted situation at the present moment. I hated not knowing something and right now I did not know how to react, what Malfoy actually felt for me (oh God! Did I actually think that?), and what I was feeling about this entire thing. There were too many things that I didn't know and that made me feel really uncomfortable.

I slowly got away from his hands and made my way towards the bathroom. On my way I picked up my clothes that I found haphazardly thrown across the floor. Once inside, I locked the door and started to fill the tub. While that took its own time, I checked myself in the mirror. Thankfully there were not too many marks. These I could conceal. I really did not wish for Harry and Ron to find out about it just yet, at least not until I had sorted my thoughts. But Ginny could be a problem. That girl was far too observant about everything.

I stepped into the warm water and tried to relax. I knew I needed time to think, but I also knew I had to be absolutely normal today.

Slowly my mind and body relaxed. After enjoying the calm for a few more minutes, I got up and dried myself. Walking into the closet I realized why, in the first case, I had come to the cottage. I pulled on jeans and found a t-shirt that would cover up most of my shoulders. I mentally made a note to ask Dippy to get my clothes back to Hogwarts.

When I came out of the bathroom, Malfoy was still asleep on his stomach. The covers were bunched just below his waist line exposing his pale and muscular back. The fire had not provided enough light to see details, but now I could truly appreciate his physique. He was lean and muscular, narrowing near the hips. His hands were strong; his palms were rough yet soft, like it was taken care of. The most striking feature was his hair. I was so used to see it kept perfectly in place. But I had also seen a few locks stick to his sweaty face and that messed up look was far better.

I suddenly realized what I was doing. I was not only thinking about the things that I liked about Malfoy, but I was also dreamily staring at his half naked form. I blushed at the thought. Shaking my head a few times in an attempt to clear my mind of the present thoughts, I made my way towards the kitchen. It was still early and I did not wish to intrude upon Harry and Ginny's privacy. So I decided to get some breakfast.

As soon as I sat down, Dippy as usual greeted me with her smile and busied herself to set up my breakfast. She brought up a plate of toast, eggs and bacon and a goblet of pumpkin juice. I realized that staying back for breakfast had been a good idea since I felt famished. Dippy looked simply ecstatic at my appetite today. I guessed that made sense. I had never particularly eaten like this while staying here.

I was almost finished with my breakfast when I heard Dippy wish good morning to Malfoy. I turned and looked around to find him standing at the door in just his pajama bottoms. I swiftly turned my gaze back to my plate in an attempt to hide the rise in color of my cheeks.

He stood there for a few more minutes. Then came and sat down in the next chair. Without looking at me he asked, "Did I hurt you?"

A thousand different answers swam across my mind in a fraction of a second. From wondering about the fact that he was actually asking if he had hurt me to thinking about snorting and replying a yes and then again realizing that it was not entirely his fault, I really did not know which one to voice. So I decided to keep quiet and finish the remaining of my meal and then leave.

After two minutes when he realized that I wasn't going to answer he said, "Now I guess I know how you felt last week." It was so softly said that had I not been sitting right beside him, I would have never heard nor believed that those words could ever come out of his mouth.

No, this was a completely unchartered territory, and until and unless I have had time to think about it, it wouldn't be a good idea to react in any manner. This being about Malfoy and my present tolerance towards him, complicated the matters much more. I swallowed my last piece of toast and rose. He slowly looked up at me. Something about him made me feel strange and I could not really look into his eyes while speaking.

"I'm going over at Harry's for today." Then chancing a glance at him I said, "I need my clothes back at the cottage." Then without looking back I swiftly got out of the kitchen and walked towards the fireplace. Throwing in a pinch of floo into the grate I clearly stated the destination and was about to step in when suddenly a firm grip turned me around and I found myself in front of Malfoy. Although he didn't come very close yet the presence made me feel really uneasy. He was staring at me with a strange expression which I had never seen on his face before. He took a step near me. Letting go of my hand, his left hand cupped my cheek and made me look into his eyes. The silver grey orbs were not the cold as I had always encountered. They were deep like the ones that would feel like drowning.

"Come back tonight." For a moment I felt like he was going to step forward and kiss me but then his hands were gone and he had stepped back. I tore my eyes away from his, confused by the events of the past twelve hours or so, and stepped into the grate. The last thing that I looked at before starting to turn was Malfoy. His look unnerved me so much that I forgot to tuck my elbows in and as a result ended up getting hit a number of times.

* * *

><p>When I stepped down from the grate at 12 Grimauld Place's kitchen, Ginny and harry were sitting at the table having their breakfast.<p>

"Hermione." Though both of them spoke together, their expressions were definitely different. Where Harry seemed ecstatic, Ginny for some reason seemed relieved.

"Congratulations Harry!" I said drawing him up in an embrace.

"Can you believe I'm going to be a father!" He seemed like a child himself. The smile on his face was infectious.

I turned my attention towards Ginny who was drawing her wand, waving it over her plate.

"Don't you dare think of doing that." I turned towards Harry. He was staring at Ginny with a mix of concern and rebuke.

"Really Harry, if you feed me anymore, I'm sure I'll burst." She turned to look at me pleadingly. So she hadn't lied when she had said Harry was feeding her as if she had Hagrid's appetite.

"Harry, don't force her and stop behaving like that. It is only going to harm her." I said taking a seat beside Ginny and vanishing the food with a flick of my wand. That seemed to get his attention.

"Are you sure of that?" though he asked that, it was evident from his expression that he had already relaxed.

I smiled at him. "Remind me to issue a few books for you from the library."

"No! No books. I'll listen to you both; just don't make me read any more books." He said grinning heartily at me. I relaxed under the known feeling here. I found it easy to push back the thoughts of Malfoy from my mind.

"Where's Ron?" I asked checking the time. As if on cue Ron and Susan stepped down from the grate. He looked around spotted me and came down to draw me into his warm embrace. It felt like home here. Ever since I had entered this world, Harry and Ron had been with me. We shared so much together. I heaved a sigh of relief at the feeling. "Any problems?" he asked.

"Aren't you going to congratulate Harry first?"

"Already done." then giving Harry a weird look he continued, "I guess it is easier to wish him as a friend, though I did feel like punching him when I thought it was my sister he was doing."

Harry uncharacteristically blushed and the three ladies in the room just screamed "Ron!"

"What? She is still my baby sister." Ron replied.

"Yes Ron. But don't forget your 'baby sister' is of age and married. So don't you think you should keep your nose out of it?" apparently there are times when Ron's emotional range reverts back to the size of tea spoon. He just smiled and shrugged. It seemed he was enjoying all the embarrassment that he was causing to Harry who was proving that he was a part of Weasley family now by going extremely red on the face.

"So, everything fine with Malfoy?" it was Harry this time. He was definitely trying to take the conversation to other topics. Did that have to be Malfoy? Didn't we have anything else to talk about? We all had settled down around the kitchen table by then.

"I thought we had come here to celebrate. I didn't know I was about to be subjected to Auror investigation." I said, though I could not help the smile that graced my lips.

"You better answer that Hermione. I can't remember a single day when this question hasn't come up. We are worried you know. Your and Malfoy's history is something to actually worry about." Susan though had entered the family and this group only a month back, had already found her place. She was caring and considerate and she definitely understood our bonding, so it didn't seem that she was worried about me and Ron. On the contrary, she understood and supported Ron with his worries.

I realized there was no way out of it. I had to answer the question or the topic would never change.

"Okay, I'll tell you but no more questions after that. We are here to celebrate not discuss about Malfoy." I looked around them all. When they had all nodded and agreed to my condition I found it safe to speak. Obviously there would be a lot of omissions. It felt strange to hide things from my three best friends but there was not much of an option now. I knew how Ron would react if he came to know about last night. So, details were definitely going to be left out. I took a deep breath and looked at them to make it seem as convincing as possible.

"He's ...better, if we can say so. Most of the time during weekends, when I'm there, he isn't. Dippy says he's often away for work. Though what kind of work I have no idea. I think Blaise Zabini is involved in it too. He seems pretty determined not to meddle with the ministry; he made that pretty clear the first day itself." I looked at them. I know Harry was probably thinking that he is up to something again. So I don't know why, I just felt like defending him.

"We haven't interacted much, but from what we have, I can tell you that he's not been rude to me. He's different now. Not exactly the Malfoy we knew at school. "

"Different? How can you say so? It's Malfoy we are talking about. I'm sure he's till the same git." Ron said, snorting.

"If he's a git then he's a git with brains Ron." Ron stared back with wide eyes. Of course, I was defending an enemy.

I just shook my head at him. "Trust me Ron. He helped me. He helped me when I was having the nightmares."

"You still have them? The same ones?" Harry and Ron were the only one who knew what the nightmares were about. I never told them, but they seemed to know what it was about. Now, even Malfoy knew. Ginny had never asked. Somehow it was clear that we did not wish to talk about it. Yet when Harry asked that, the way Ginny looked at me seemed like Harry had told her something and that she might have inkling as to what it might be.

"Yeah."

"So how did he help?"

"The first time it happened in the cottage, he gave me a sleeping draught although, I wasn't aware of it until recently. The second time I woke before he gave me the draught. I don't know, but he had seemed actually worried that time."

"Of course he was worried Hermione. You yourself said he did not wish to upset the ministry. If something happened to you he knew he would land in Azkaban for sure. No one could help him this time." Ron said giving Harry a fleeting look. Ron was not truly for letting the Malfoy's go. Harry and Ron had even had a heated argument before the trail. Ron had stopped only when he had realized that I was supporting Harry.

"Okay, enough of this. Now can we talk about something else?" I asked. I had said enough. I wasn't about to divulge any more, so we may as well start talking about something else.

Harry told us about the Auror training. He finally seemed to find something he was genuinely good at, though potions were still giving him a bit of a problem. Ron told us about the shop. He had finally managed to convince George to develop a few more products and had even agreed to sample them on himself. He was pretty sure that doing something new would actually be good as George would keep busy and think less about Fred's death. Yet we all knew that it wasn't that simple. The twins had always tested the goods on themselves. So Fred was bound to come up.

Me, Ginny and Susan told them about school. Harry and Ron were really missing school. We missed them too. Ginny probably missed only Harry, glad that her brother was not around to boss her. But then again when had Ron ever managed to do that. I, on the other hand, missed spending every minute with them. Our time at Hogwarts was never very innocent what with bonding for the first time over a troll's unconscious body. But I felt there still was some amount of innocence that was lost in the past year and then due to this law.

Kreacher had decorated the sitting room for the occasion. It was nice to see that the place looked far better these days. The tattered drapes were replaced with new ones. The grim look that always had seemed to surround the place was replaced by a bright feel and look. Not a single speck of dust could be found anywhere. Kreacher's attitude towards people had also drastically changed. These days he even managed to greet me with some respect.

The day, all in all, was better than I could have imagined. It was really nice to finally catch up with everyone. I was so engrossed in my surroundings that I did not even have to try to pretend forgetting about Malfoy. But that suddenly came back after dinner when it was time to get back to our own places.

We were sitting in the drawing room, enjoying the apple custard that Kreacher had made when the question suddenly came up.

"Are you going back to the Manor, Hermione?" Harry had asked the question nonchalantly. I was thankful to Merlin that no one noticed that I had suddenly gone stiff.

"Um… Yes, I guess. I-I need a few things from there."

Going back to school tonight would raise questions which I did not wish to face nor answer. Then again, there was this strange feeling that Malfoy had asked me to come back. I did not know why I felt compelled to listen to those words. Somewhere in my heart I wanted to go back to know why he had asked me to go back there.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

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><p>When I returned to the cottage that night, I was greeted with probably one of the best views I could have seen of Malfoy. He was sitting in the armchair, head drooping, asleep. The picture was so perfect I could not believe I was seeing it. I stood there watching him. I did not wish to disturb him, but smiled at the fact that it seemed that he had fallen asleep waiting for me. A strange sense of warmth spread through me at that particular thought. But the moment it came, it also went away.<p>

It was a contradicting emotion. I realized I liked the attention that I was getting for the past one day from him. But my mind did not let me believe it completely. It was difficult to decide which emotion to believe in. Experience said he was not to be believed, but all that I saw for the past few days raised questions on my present belief.

Deciding that I should get going, I slowly walked towards the bedroom. I did not know if Dippy had taken my clothes back. I did not wish to make the same mistake twice. So I decided to make sure about it. I still had to think about a lot of things which I knew I wouldn't be able to do here. It was a good thing he was asleep but I didn't know why Dippy was missing.

I was almost halfway to the wardrobe when I noticed a stack of books on the table. As curious as ever I walked over to the desk only to find that those were my text books. Great. So now I would have to carry these back too.

"I asked Dippy to bring them here." I was so surprised to hear him speak all of a sudden that instinctively I had drawn my wand. He seemed quite unperturbed by that. It was as if I wasn't brandishing a wand at him but a mere piece of wood.

"Don't do that again." I said slowly through gritted teeth, lowering my wand. I turned around to gather my books. Malfoy, it seemed, hadn't changed that much. He seemed to have retained his tendency of making things more difficult for me. He noticed what I was doing and came to stand next to the desk, frowning.

"What are you doing? Why are you packing your books?"

"I am packing because I need to take them back."

"Back where?"

"To school of course." I said finished with my books at last and again walking towards to get my clothes.

"But you are supposed to stay here for another day at least." He said following behind me.

"No. I can stay where ever I want to. We are permitted to leave so that the so called couples get some time for themselves which I suppose is quite necessary to fulfill the second part of the law." I said that quite matter-of-factly, thankful that he was behind me and couldn't see me blushing.

Before I could enter the wardrobe, he came to block my way. I sighed and crossed my arms. Getting my clothes was turning out to be an almost impossible task.

"But I asked you to stay." Normally these words would have been said in a superior way, like talking to a house elf. Today it came out very naturally, like how I would expect Harry or Ron to speak. I blinked at his tone once. Then finding my senses I replied.

"No, you did not ask me to stay. You asked me to come back, which I did. Thankfully I must add, or else I would have had a fit on not being able to find my books. Now, can you move so that I can get my clothes?" I had expected him to stand there refusing to move. I had not anticipated that he would actually step aside. For a moment I was completely taken aback to see him shift.

Getting my bearing back, I walked into the wardrobe to retrieve my clothes.

"I already asked Dippy to take a few back and leave a few here." I was surprised to see that since last night I hadn't seen him with his mask up even for a second. At that moment I wanted nothing more than for him to behave like his usual self, so I could hex him and walk out. I had even lied to my friends because of him.

"Good. Then I'll only have to carry my books back." I said walking past him.

"Please stay." I didn't know if he had actually said that or was it my little part of the brain that had wanted to hear those words. I turned around to face him, unsure of what to say.

"Don't go." He said taking a step closer. "Let's just give it a try."

"It's easy for you to say that Malfoy." I scoffed. This was surely some game. Malfoy would never in his life say that.

"It's not. Believe me it's not. We are married."

"Some marriage it is." I said turning back to retrieve my bag.

"We are actually married now, surely you understand that."

So this was it. Last night was about making sure that this law was not being violated. It was putting a claim. I gritted my teeth to control my anger, not directed towards him but rather myself, for being so knave as to believe all this could be true.

"Don't worry Malfoy. I'll bear a child in a year. You don't have to worry about that. Every weekend I'll come here like an obedient wife so we can have sex." I said it with as much sarcasm as I could muster under the present circumstance.

"I did not mean it like that."

"Oh really! Then please do explain how exactly you meant it." I asked sneering. Now we were on normal grounds. Now I had a reason to hex him. But I couldn't squash the feeling of hurt that his words had left behind.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, the fringes falling back to his eyes, bringing back the urge to touch them again, even now when I was seething with rage. "I really did not mean it that way. I know it's difficult to believe me because of my past, but I really want to try. I promise I won't touch you again if you don't want me to. But let us just give this relation a chance, just once."

I really couldn't believe he was asking that. Wasn't he the one telling Zabini that he was trying to find a non-existent loophole in the law?

"No. I can't believe you." If I relied on his words and realized he was the same obnoxious person, the only person to blame would be me. Not to mention that the chances of so happening were extremely high. I would not purposely and knowingly walk into a trap. I collected my bag but he had already grabbed it and threw it randomly into a corner.

"Hex me if you want. I'm here, right in front of you, unarmed. But just listen to me." I know the desperation was very evident. But how was I supposed to believe him.

"What do you want?" I shouted. It was a long day, and I just wanted some peace.

"I told you. Please stay and give it a try. I know it will be difficult and awkward for both of us. But can't you give me a second chance? Wasn't it what you had told Weasley before my trial, that everyone deserves a second chance?" while he looked expectantly at me, I simply stared at him.

I had no idea how he knew that. I don't know how he had heard of that or who had told him that, but I could not deny that those were my words. I was thoroughly confused. One part of my brain constantly reminded me to stay away, what was done was done. But there was this small part of me, which had suddenly emerged out of nowhere, that I simply could not make to keep shut, that kept pushing me towards him.

I could see he was waiting for an answer. But what was I supposed to say? This was even harder than killing a horcrux. I flopped down on the chair by the desk, my head in my hand. I really did not know what to do now. I couldn't even talk to my friends without them over-reacting.

"You should get some sleep." He said all of a sudden, "It is already late. I'll sleep in the other room." And with that Malfoy walked out of the room. Somewhere in between this, he had won the argument and he knew it. I was too tired to put up an fight. I was not someone to back down, but the last day, the last week had been very emotionally draining and I wanted nothing more than to find some peace.

I got up, washed, changed and got under the covers even after realizing that sleep would elude me tonight.

I stayed awake wondering why was it that my resolve on things was breaking where Malfoy was concerned. I had thought of never returning here. But here I was in the same place. I did not wish to believe him, yet I had been unable to argue with him. Things were definitely going downhill.

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><p>The next morning although I was awake, I did not go for breakfast, neither Malfoy nor Dippy came to call me for it, which was good. I was not one for stalling, but I really did not know how to behave now. It was not possible to act as if nothing had happened; our past was too much to forget. So how did one act in this kind of situation? Not to mention every time he opened his mouth, he gave me a handful of things to think about. That wouldn't have been a problem if the previous ones were resolved, but every thing was jumbled up right now. Normally, I would want to sit down and talk about it. The fact that it was him that I needed to talk and sort out, turned me off the idea. Somehow I didn't think talking would solve things and I couldn't see us having heart to heart conversations either. And yet I knew, talking about it was the only way to solve things. But I wasn't ready now.<p>

Finally, later in the morning when my hunger won the battle, I finally stepped out of the room. Malfoy was sitting at the table reading a book, but noticed as soon as I walked in. He lightly smiled and wished me morning. I stopped short for a moment, unnerved by the fact that he was trying to smile at me. I unconsciously took the seat farthest from him. If he noticed that, he did not say anything about it. Dippy wished me and set a plate of food in front of me. I ate in silence, thankful to Merlin that there was no talk.

After finishing my breakfast I returned to the bedroom and sat down on the desk to finish off some work. The next hour I spent immersed in the potions essay. I was so busy writing that I had not noticed him standing behind me. I had no idea how long he been standing there. It was only when he spoke, that I almost jumped out of my skin. Breathing slowly to get my nerves to stop running I asked."What?"

"I said it is three anticlockwise stirs, not clockwise." I really had no idea what he was talking about. My confusion must have been evident on my face because he slowly pointed out to a part of my essay and repeated, "Anticlockwise, not clockwise."

I checked my book only to find that he was right. "Right, thank you." I said without looking at him and went back to finishing my essay. He moved to the bed and just sat there, sometimes reading a book, sometimes just staring at me. I tried my best ignoring but it is difficult not to notice when someone is trying to drill a hole in your skull.

Lunch time came and went by but neither of us moved. I had had my food only sometime back, so I wasn't really hungry, but why he didn't go, I had no idea. I kept myself occupied with books. If he hadn't been around, I would have cared to take a break for a few minutes to think. But with him around, I really didn't think that was possible or a good idea either. Maybe I was a little apprehensive that if he found me sitting idle he'd try to talk, and I did not know how to respond. My thoughts were too jumbled up.

Later that afternoon though, he came up with a plate of shepherd's pie. Putting it in front of me, he simply said "Eat." Then conjured up a chair for himself, sat down and dug in into his own meal. I couldn't help staring at him. I accept that people change. But people like Malfoy, changing to an extent that they become a completely different person, that is difficult to believe. I had thought it possible but then he had woken up that morning and crashed that idea with his behavior. He hadn't even said sorry properly for it!

When a few minutes passed and I still hadn't touched my plate, he looked up. Putting his fork down, he said, "Aren't you hungry yet?"

That was it. We had to talk. This was getting really stranger by the minute. I took a deep breath to calm myself and prayed to god that I would have the patience for this conversation, also that I wouldn't end up behaving stupidly. I seemed to be doing that unconsciously around this man.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked looking straight into his eyes. I was aware of the mask. So I didn't wish to miss even a flicker of emotion, if he portrayed that. But again it seemed that there was no mask. He looked genuinely surprised when he asked, "Doing what?"

"This." I said moving my arms randomly to point at the food and then at us. "You are bringing me food, sitting beside me while you eat, helping me out with my essays… behaving civilized with me. Why? This is not you. You wouldn't sit with a muggle-born and eat. You wouldn't help her with her studies, and it is definitely unbelievable as well as unimaginable that you speak to me and not insult me even once. You run away from me when you wake up in the same bed, now that's imaginable."

He looked at me for a minute before setting his plate aside.

"Isn't it evident yet that I'm not the same person as before. You find it strange that I am sitting here with you, having my meal. What is so strange about it when I have shared more that a meal with you. We have done far more personal and intimate things than that. As for helping you out with your studies is concerned, it was just correcting your one mistake. I don't have to help the girl who has time and again proved to have more brains than me. And you are right; I wouldn't sit with a muggle-born in the past. But today I'm married to one. I'm not going to insult you, I can assure you about that, nor am I going to tolerate if someone else does that to you. Things have changed Granger, I have changed. I know it is hard to believe. But all I can do is tell you that and hope that you see the difference yourself. And like I said yesterday, I really want to try and make this work."

I wonder why I couldn't keep my mouth shut for another half a day. If he kept speaking like that and looking like that, I would soon end up with too much of information and emotion to handle. Yet, words automatically flow from my brain through my mouth and I'm hardly able to control them.

"I didn't think that I would survive the day to hear a Malfoy give me a compliment. So that leaves me even more uncertain about the situation than before. For seven years I've faced your ire Malfoy, been mocked by your father, and been repeatedly reminded that I did not belong here. Now all of a sudden, thanks to the ministry, I'm married to you. The 'act of intimacy' that you talk about, it is not so much of an intimacy as of a compulsion. Today or tomorrow, it had to be done. I'm supposed to carry your child after all." I stood up and started gathering my books.

"I'm going back to school." I looked at him. For a moment I felt he wanted to say something. He was looking at me like searching. I don't know if he found something or not but I did see something. Surprising even myself I said, "I need some time to think." I did not expect his next move.

He got up and kissed me once. It was not so much of a kiss as a peck, but I felt my treacherous body reacting to even that small a contact. I may have called it a compulsion, but we both knew it was more than that.

"I know I said I'll not touch you until you want so. But I'm sorry, I couldn't help that."

He seemed different ever since that incident and I had not hexed him for it. I'd felt bad when I had thought he had done it just for consummating the marriage and I had reacted. Whereas he kissed me back when I had thrown him the same thing. He was smart, whether I like to admit it or not, but he was and he had realized that night was something different for me too. He just knew it.

"Come back on Friday if you feel like it." With that he kissed me once more and stepped back.

I might have actually run away after that, quite literally.

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><p><strong>Thank you to all my reviewers, specially graciousness for leaving a review for almost every chapter and HenriaSownbinder for saying that their relationship is believable. Thats exactly what I was hoping for when I started writing this fic.<strong>

**Keep Reading :)**


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

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><p>Back in the cottage at school, I just dropped my bag and dazedly walking to the bed, fell on it. It was the strangest weekend of my life. I had lost my virginity to a person, who had been my enemy ever since I had entered this world, and now was my husband. I had lied to my friends for him and was actually thinking of trying to work this relationship out. Maybe I had lost my mind. Maybe it was those wak... something that Luna said muddles our brains. But something was definitely wrong.<p>

I turned on my side and tried to think why I was even considering his proposal. I had seen Ron and Susan, and Harry and Ginny, and they looked so happy together. Maybe that was the reason. Somewhere in the irrational part of my mind I wanted some love and affection and not as a friend. I sighed. That was probably it. But the fact that it was Malfoy simply refused to leave my mind. He hadn't gained my trust yet I somehow knew he wouldn't harm me and that was strange. We had fought on two different sides in the war and a few months back we wouldn't have thought twice about attacking each other at sight. Or would we? He hadn't recognised Harry that night at the Manor.

I turned on my back again feeling restless. If I thought logically, he had a point in trying to work this out. We had to bring forth a baby. That would require some amount of… sleeping with each other. I knew I had to carry his baby. But every time I had thought about it, even vaguely, I had felt it would be with someone I was in love with.

I sighed and turned again. If I hadn't gone off trying my luck and gambling with my life, then I wouldn't have been here, on this bed, thinking all these. But then I probably would have been in Ron's bed. I didn't really want to think that now. I groaned. Damn this marriage law!

After a lot more musing on the topic I decided I had, yet again, no other option than to agree with Malfoy. Maybe who knows I would find some happy moments. One can always wish. And with that I drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

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><p>Monday morning I was already halfway through my breakfast when Susan and Ginny joined me.<p>

"Am I early or are you guys late?" I asked and smiled to see Susan blushing. Ginny on the other had replied pretty calmly, "I want to think I got late. Pregnant women have needs you know."

Susan looked mortified for a moment, but then we all burst out laughing at the same time. "Oh God! I really don't need to think of the savior of this world and my brother in law in that sense, thank you Ginny." Susan said helping herself to some toast.

Ginny's eyes were sparkling and I realized I really did not want to hear what she had to say now. "Oh! You should really see him…."

"GINNY!" both Susan and me screamed.

"Really Ginny, you can keep that kind of stuff to yourself." I said.

"Where's the fun in that." She just winked back at me. We ate our breakfast chatting about normal things after that. What was better was the fact that the smiles remained on our faces. Though I had a very restless night with the dreams again, but probably some kind of resolution and clarity of my marriage had helped lighten my mood.

The next few days passed on almost in the same manner, with smiles and giggles and being happy despite the humungous amounts of homework allotted to us in almost all the subjects. The nights too were the same. Almost every night I would wake up drenched in sweat after reliving some nasty incident from last year. And before I realized it was already Friday evening.

We said our goodbyes and headed to our own places. Now that I knew that I was going to try and that I had to be with him for the next two days, I was a little apprehensive. Trying to think of all the possible things that we could talk about, without arguing, I made my way to the Cottage.

Malfoy was not at home. That was good for me because I had not managed to find a single thing that we could talk about. Dippy greeted me with her same enthusiasm as ever. Having had my dinner at school, I changed and sat down to complete my runes homework.

By the time I had completed it, Dippy had already gone to bed, if she had a bed that is. I stretched my tired limbs and climbed into the bed that was starting to feel mine. I wondered where he was. It was quite late after all. But then again I really didn't know much about his life. May be that's what we could start talking about. He could tell me what kind of work he was doing. If it was legal... Why hadn't that thought crossed my mind earlier? Maybe because it was always Harry who was so suspicious about him, though it hadn't been without a reason. Thinking about all the things that he could do when I was away, I fell asleep.

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><p>I woke up with a start from having seen Nagini attack Harry at Godrics's Hollow. The first thing I felt after calming down was soft hands wiping the sweat from my face. I opened my eyes and found Malfoy's steady gaze on me. He gave me a small smile and helped me to sit up, offering me a goblet of water. Taking the goblet from my hand he just gestured me to lie down again. He just sat there, on the edge of my bed looking at me. When my eyes began to droop, he touched my face once and slowly whispered, "Good night."<p>

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><p>He was sitting at the table, dressed, when I walked in the next morning.<p>

"Good morning." He smiled at me.

"Good morning." I replied. I tried to smile, but I don't think that was very convincing. We ate our breakfast in relative silence. Once the plates were gone, he looked up at me. "I'm going to be out today. I don't know when I can return. I was thinking…" he looked a little unsure. I remained quite, letting him complete his thought. "I was wondering if you want to stay or go back to school, or go to your friends'." I don't know why he sounded so unsure.

"I think I'm going to stay back." I said. "I have homework to finish. More of all I don't want to disturb Harry and Ginny, especially now that she is pregnant. And Ron and Susan hardly get time with each other. So it would really not be fair to disturb them either." I looked at Malfoy. He looked surprised, but by what part of my sentence, I did not know. It could be the part where I said I would stay back.

Covering up, he got up from the table and said, "I should get going. I'll see you later." He turned to leave, then after a moment's hesitation came to stand next to me. Again after a moment's hesitation, he bend slowly towards me, always looking at me. "Bye." He breathed softly on my face. Then slowly pecked me on my cheeks and then he was gone in two long strides.

I sat there for a few minutes. Malfoy like this was… sweet. Caring too, I could say. He behaved like the boy every girl wants to date. Frowning I realized there were girls who had wanted to date him. Whether for his money, or for the power his father had in the ministry back then. But I had heard girls talking about him. Then there was Pansy Parkinson. They were rumored to be together. I did not know if that was true. I had not paid attention to him back then.

Now, frowning that I felt a pang of uneasiness at the thought of him with someone else, I made my way back to my room to get my books. I had a long day ahead and I also had to concentrate on my work. Clearing my mind of almost all things Malfoy, I sat down to complete my task.

The rest of the day passed with me completing most of my homework. Dippy made sure that I ate at the right times. By mid night, I had finished all my homework, my dinner was done, and I was lying on the bed wondering where Malfoy was. The problem with the entire day was that whenever I had stopped studying to take a break, my mind had shifted to thoughts of Malfoy with someone else. A week back, I knew it would have hurt only minimally, but now it was a steady nagging feeling. It was something I did not like. I wasn't ready to give Malfoy that much of importance, but it unnerved me to think him with another girl. For heaven's sake, I didn't even know if he had any kind of relation before.

I sighed and willed my brain to clear of all things. It still took me some time to fall asleep.

I woke up screaming again at the top of my voice. It was one of Bill's wedding. The attack at the Burrow was something definitely not worth reliving. It was the beginning of the almost year long run. I flopped back on the pillow, panting.

"Granger," His voice was so soft that for a few seconds I had thought I had hallucinated. He was standing by my bed with a goblet of water. As I looked up, he offered it to me. This was turning out to be an every night ritual. He sat down by the edge and I noticed that he had already changed into his night clothes. How long had he been back? I frowned.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"A little after four." He was looking at me with a strange expression.

"When did you come back?" I asked not able to control myself. He visibly relaxed on that.

"After one, you were asleep." Yes I was. But where had he been and what had he been doing? Why was he so late? I wanted to ask these questions. But before I could say anything, he wished me night, lightly pecking on my lips and strode out of the room.

My frown increased. Why was he behaving like this? I knew sleep was impossible now. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. This wasn't helping much. I was having these nightmares regularly now, almost too regularly. I would have to think about that. And while thinking of all the things that I could possibly do, I slowly and thankfully drifted off to sleep again.

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><p><strong>Thank you all so much. I feel so overwhelmed by your responses.<br>I hope I'll be able to keep up the expectations**

**Happy Holidays!**

**-Periwinkle Pink :)**


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

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><p>The next day passed almost in the same manner. The only difference was that he was home. He behaved normally but kept his distance. The morning peck on the cheeks, small smiles, staring while I was working, all were there. But there was a strange kind of anxious energy around us. I could feel it.<p>

That night after dinner, he wished me good night and retired to the other room. The whole day I had tried to understand the sudden difference, but I really could not find a reason. Last Sunday when I had gone back, I had asked for some time. Ever since Friday night I was giving it my best, yet now he was retreating. It was very frustrating. I grudgingly got into bed, hoping to get a good night's sleep.

Of course that was not to be so. I had dreamt again of the Manor, and as soon as I had woken up, a chill had passed all over my body as it had registered that was exactly where I was now. Almost immediately I found myself being pulled into an embrace.

"Its okay, it's over. No one's going to harm you." I squinted open my eyes to find him whispering. He had pained look on his face that suddenly reminded me of a pale boy from sixth year.

"I'm okay." I whispered back. I really didn't understand how I felt at the exact moment. I wanted to do something to remove that pain from his face, yet I was surprised to find him so expressive. All that I had seen him express was loathing, anger and frustration. Seeing him express so much was very confusing.

"Sleep, I'm here." His voice was really soft. 'Good' I thought. His body felt very warm and comforting, two adjectives that I never would have thought of using for him. But feeling strangely safe in his arms, I fell asleep again.

* * *

><p>"Granger, wake up. You need to be back to school." I open my eyes to find him already dressed and leaning over me with a smile on his face. "Wake up, time for school." He pecked me once and grinning walked towards the door. "I'm waiting for you at breakfast."<p>

I took my time to take a bath because I needed time to think. Malfoy was confusing me and I didn't like to be confused. The long bath felt good but that left me with hardly any time for breakfast. I rushed through it, aware of his eyes on me. After I finished, I grabbed my bag and quickly bid him goodbye before stepping into the floo. I wondered if I should have kissed him like he did to me, but then I thought, 'too strange and too awkward.'

I was not the only one who is late that morning. Me and Ginny were almost on our way to the classes when we found Susan walking towards us. She seemed flushed and both of us stared at her wondering what could have happened this early in the morning.

"Hey." She wished us, blushing. That definitely had to mean something.

"We went down to St. Mungo's this morning." She was speaking so softly that we had to almost strain our ears to listen. "I'm pregnant." Shyly she looked up at us through her lashes. The next second Ginny had launched herself on Susan, almost knocking her down.

"Oh my God! I can't believe it." We both had brilliant smiles on our faces. I hugged her and offered my congratulations. Ron was going to be a father. That sounded so strange. He himself was so childlike and now he would have his own baby.

The news was as comforting to me as it is disturbing. A lot of the couples who had been examined had been found to be pregnant. It made me feel uneasy. It made me feel like a clock was ticking and I had not completed my homework, but becoming pregnant too felt strange. Not only that, people conceiving also meant that they have that level of intimacy among them.

I scowled at my food at dinner.

"Hey, are you alright? You have been very quite the entire day." I looked up to find Ginny staring at me. I sighed. I wanted to share what was on my mind, but I really didn't think these things were worth discussing.

"I'm fine, just a little tensed with the classes and all."

"How's Malfoy?" she asked, still staring at me.

"He's fine." I reply, feigning nonchalance.

Ginny stared at me a minute more before shaking her head and turning towards me. "I'm sorry Hermione. I really am sorry. We should have talked more. You are living with Malfoy… it can't be that easy. I should have paid more attention. Ron, Harry, me… we are all so busy with these new things… we should have talked. Hermione you know we care and we can talk about anything. You know, don't you?" she seemed so genuinely upset about it.

"Really Gin, I'm fine." Her talk was only convincing me that my decision that I had come to, may not be so wrong.

"You keep saying that all the time."

"Because it is." I give her a genuine smile. I know my answer did nothing much to convince her, but it did enough to give me the courage to take a step ahead.

I flooed to the Cottage after returning from dinner. Dippy gave me a surprised smile. Obviously, all this time I basically had to be dragged here. Today I was here of my own accord. I found Malfoy sitting at the desk in our bedroom, _our_ bedroom, working on something. Upon hearing the door open, he turned. The surprise was evident. It was just Monday. Sometimes I didn't even end up here on Friday evenings.

"I thought about it." I started before he could ask something and before I lost my nerve or mind about what I was about to say. His puzzled expression clearly stated he did not understand what I was talking about. "You know, about giving it a try. I thought we could start by trying to know each other better." I said, fidgeting a little. That had seemed so sensible when I thought about it the entire day. But now, saying it in front of him, felt kind of stupid.

The smile that crossed his face was really unlike him, but nevertheless it looked good on him and definitely worth it. But that was it. I didn't know what to do next. Apparently I should have thought about it a little more. I always thought about everything beforehand, but where he's concerned, somehow all my conventional methods went down the drain.

"I'll get going then. Good night." I'd rather get out of there instead of feeling awkward. I almost ran to the floo to get back to school. As soon as I stepped out of the grate, I heaved a sigh of relief. But that was pretty pointless as the floo flared again and Malfoy stepped out.

"What are you doing here?" I was trying to avoid the awkward situations, but it seemed like the situations were following me.

"You wanted us to try and know each other." He said smiling and taking a step towards me. "I was thinking I could try to show you something about me." He tentatively stretched his hands out as if to judge if I would allow him to touch me. When I didn't step back, he slowly reached to caress my face with one hand while talking a step forward.

"Do you have your night mares when you are here?" His voice was so soft, that I was sure no one had ever heard him speak like that before.

"Sometimes." I didn't see a reason to lie. He had seen me in those situations too many times now.

"Would you mind if I stay the night?" The question was strange. It truly was, because it felt like we were in a relationship and he was asking permission to spend the night for the first time at my place, with me. Though in some ways it did feel like this cottage was mine and the one at the manor grounds, his.

I smiled at the thought and when I looked at him, I realized it wasn't just me who had felt that about the question. But then when I really tried to assess the question I realized I really didn't know how to feel about it. We had never really slept together, consciously at least, and by that I mean really sleep.

The uneasiness probably was etched on my face because he forced me to look at him. "If you don't want to, it's fine. I'm just saying because I'm worried. Recently it seems like you are having them every day." How did he know that? "I don't want to leave you alone with them. You don't seem to be taking any medication for it, so I'm guessing you didn't see a healer about it. If you don't want me to stay behind then can you please let Dippy stay here?"

Concern, I could see that on his face, in his eyes, in his voice. But that was where I got stuck every time. I did not know if I could believe it. I was trying, and that meant letting him be by my side. So I shook my head, "You won't have problems staying here?" I asked.

"Is that a yes?" That smile, I couldn't help responding to that, wondering why in the world he never thought of being like this forever, because that smile was beautiful. I couldn't possibly describe it in any other word.

The next morning when I woke up, it was to find him staring at me. It was a little unnerving being stared at like that especially while you are sleeping. "Did I scream last night?" I asked, sitting up, trying to break the silence.

"No." He was still staring at me and frankly I thought it was kind of creepy. Probably this was how Harry felt when he was being followed around by Colin…. I shook my head to clear the thought. It really wasn't a good idea dwelling on those memories early in the morning.

"Can you please stop staring like that?" I got up and walked towards the bathroom. I didn't want to be late for classes on a weekday.

He slowly got up and walked up to me, still not taking his eyes off me. "Can I kiss you?"

I turned around sharply, staring at him. I wasn't expecting that.

"Let me kiss you and I'll stop staring. I promise." There, that smirk was back. I felt like stomping on his foot hard and walking off and for a second I thought that probably wouldn't be that bad. So I did just that. I stamped on his foot hard and walked off towards the bathroom to get ready for school. That groan was pure music to my ears. But for that split second that I had before I closed the door, I could see that he was still looking at me and smiling.

* * *

><p>He came back every night and every morning started off at the same note. The only difference was that he now knew when I wanted to stomp his feet. So he always managed to step back right at the exact moment. Even though that irritated me, somehow I started expecting the same thing every morning. But Friday morning was different.<p>

Friday morning when I woke up, he wasn't on his side of the bed. He was right there, leaning over me, staring. I huffed. Really, expecting him bickering and staring was one thing, but this was something else.

"Malfoy," I tried feigning a smile, "what are you doing?" I asked in a sugary soft voice.

"Staring of course. Now you'll ask me to stop staring and I'll tell you to let me kiss you. Then you'll try to stomp my foot and walk off towards the bathroom. That was getting monotonous, so I thought I'll try something new today."

I was trapped. He was leaning up on one of his elbow and the other was draped over me. So even though I did not wish to hear his blabbing, I had no way to escape. I glared back to show I was in no mood for silly games.

"Every day I ask if I can kiss you and you refuse me, so I decided to modify my request."

He waited for some kind of response from me. "Okay, what?" he smiled and leaned in a little closer. I drew a sharp breath. We may not be on best of terms but that did not mean that I was immune to his presence.

"Kiss me." I stared straight back at him. The difference in request was clear. He was asking _me_ to kiss him, unlike everyday when he would seek permission to do it himself. "Kiss me Granger, and I'll let you go."

I tried shuffling away once, but that led him to lean in further. I gritted my teeth in frustration. He was not going to let go. I shut my eyes , took a deep breath, leaned up and pecked him once.

"Now, let me go."

"No." I wanted to give him a curt reply, but he bet me to it. "That wasn't even a proper kiss."

That's it, I was about to be late. I shoved him hard and dashed to the bathroom. I didn't even get the chance to step inside when he grabbed me from behind.

"Let me go Malfoy." I tried fidgeting, but he only tightened his hold on me. When did he get this strong?

"I wonder if you are ticklish." And I stopped trying to escape. His voice only a whisper, breathe ghosting over my neck. I could feel him smile. He softly planted a kiss there, "I plan on finding that out tonight." And with that he pushed me towards the bathroom and shut the door himself. "Have a good day Granger."

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><p><strong>And another chapter is up. I have a few more chapters jotted down which I'll try to put up before the New Year. My sis is coming with her one year old and the kiddo is a handful, so I guess the updates will be a little irregular come next year. I hope you guys will bear with me.<strong>

**Love ya!**


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

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><p>That evening when I got back, he wasn't there. I sat up till late, studying. When it was almost midnight and he still hadn't arrived I decided to go back to the Cottage. As it was, I was hardly getting much of the work done wondering where he was. When I got there, I was greeted by Dippy. It was evident he wasn't there either.<p>

"Dippy, do you know where Master Draco is?"

She didn't have to answer. Malfoy chose the moment to come through the floo. He just had a second before he noticed me and almost immediately a smirk crossed his face. He threw his robe on the armchair. His walk was predatory. I couldn't believe he was actually planning on finding out if I was ticklish. I had thought that was just a joke.

"Malfoy, what are you doing?" I asked, taking a tentative step back.

"You are a smart witch. I thought you would have figured that out by now."

As he kept advancing, I kept walking backwards. I knew I wouldn't need even a second to draw my wand, it was a big reassurance. I knew the exact moment he would pounce; one year on the run does that to you. I took a leap to the right running off to the other side of the room, drawing my wand out in the process. These things would be so normal with my friends that I wouldn't give it a second thought. But it felt almost surreal that it was none other than Draco Malfoy running after me and not to kill me, but for fun. I stood behind the armchair on which he had discarded his robe and huffed in annoyance.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at him.

"Behaving like an average teenager, I guess. You tell me." He shrugged and replied.

He hadn't drawn his wand, so it wasn't possible for me to attack him either. It really wasn't fair to hex someone when they did not have their wand drawn at you. He wasn't particularly a threat, per se. "How the hell am I supposed to know what teenagers do? I haven't had a normal teenage, have I? I was on the run for a year to save me and my friends from a psychopath. I don't know how people my age have fun. Normal teenagers do not end up being married to a complete stranger after a bloody war, neither do they have to worry about carrying a child and study for their N.E. at the same time!" I don't know why I lost my temper. I should have been prepared for this since he had told me about his intentions. But I did loose it, maybe because I still wasn't used to him being so carefree around me. I couldn't even comprehend how he could behave so normally with me, whereas I was finding it difficult to acclimatise myself to the situation with such ease.

The change was immediate and very visible. When I had started talking he had been smiling. I could see his smile slip and his posture become rigid at the mention of the war.

"I am sorry." It was almost a whisper. He turned back abruptly and walked towards the other room. I sighed and closed my eyes. I really hadn't meant it that way and I certainly didn't expect him to react like that. I stood there looking at the closed door helplessly. If I was true to myself, I knew I had made a small mistake and I would have to apologize for it. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn't even think twice before saying sorry. But I didn't really like apologizing to him, but that's where I had always been different from him. I squared up my shoulders and walked up to the door.

After softly knocking on the door once, I pushed open the door. Malfoy was sitting on the bed with his elbows propped up on the knees and his head in his hands. I stood on the threshold for a second wondering where and how to start. It was not easy apologizing to him after all. I took a steadying breath, walked into the room and sat on the bed beside him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." I wanted to say more, but he cut me in between.

"Its not your fault." Then he slowly pulled himself up. "I…. I was just trying to do something normal, something that I thought people of our age do. You said we needed to know each other and I thought it would work, starting with small and simple things. Throughout my life I have been told how to behave, how to speak, think, react that I don't know how not to pretend. I've known we are superior to others, but we aren't better than scum today. I knew that the Malfoys always deserved the best of everything, that I was special. But I don't even know who I am today. I don't know how to be myself or what I want, what I should want. I did that because I thought… I don't know. I guess I just wanted to know you through simple things."

I couldn't help staring at him and wondering if this was really happening because never in my wildest dreams I would have ever imagined Malfoy, of all people, to be vocal about such things. It made sense, I guess, when he put it that way. He was a victim of circumstance, just like us. The only difference was that we were on the other side and had to deal with it, while he had to face things from those people who he thought were his allies, whom he looked up to, and respected. If I could think without being biased for a second, I would have to agree that it was a worse situation than ours. We knew we had to face certain things, that we were the targets. But how do you feel when the people you move around dictating everyday suddenly starts treating you like the dirt on their shoe. He would have never anticipated being treated like that, especially with an upbringing like his.

I didn't know what to say. This was the first time he had expressed himself so openly in front of me. I could understand that it couldn't be an easy feat. I knew it, because I wouldn't want to express my weakness in front of him. And it was a weakness for him. The fall that he had taken was a high one. I had disliked most of his pureblood beliefs and those very beliefs had left him in a limbo.

I sat there, quietly beside him. I could tell him that, yes, what he had known all his life was wrong. But I didn't. I didn't feel the need to. He understood that. I could tell him to move on and embrace this new life, but it wasn't as easy to do. And I didn't want to patronise him, because I understood that someone who had lost his pride would react well to it. So I gave him what he needed, a distraction.

"I am, you know." I said after a few minutes of complete silence. He turned to look at me with a confused expression. I smiled. Of course he didn't understand what I was talking about.

"Ticklish." He stared at me confused for a second more before comprehension dawned. He gave a small smile. Silence fell between us again, though it wasn't pressing down on us this time.

"So… can I find out how much?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with mirth. I was glad my tactic had worked but it left me with only a second to run before he moved.

Five minutes of running around and we were back to the same armchair, in the same position.

"Really, Malfoy? I already told you I was ticklish. Do we really need to go through this?"

"Yes, because I want to find out how much." That fraction of second that took to close my eyes and sigh, he was already standing in front of me.

It really was useless trying to escape him. He was far stronger than me and frankly I don't remember the last time I had laughed so hard, at least not in the last two years. By the time he stopped we both were flushed. Even Dippy had come to see what was going on and had left us alone, smiling on her way back to the kitchen.

"My sides ache." I said panting.

"Mine too." We were both giggling occasionally. Sitting outside our room with our back to the wall, it was probably the first time I felt happy here.

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><p>The next morning I woke up early. The previous evening I had hardly managed to study much, so I had a lot of catching up to do. When I came out of the bathroom, it was to find Malfoy sprawled on the bed. I couldn't help the smile from gracing my lips at the memory of the previous night. We really had broken some kind of barrier.<p>

I was almost out of the room when the idea struck. I quietly tip toed back to the bed. I had to struggle a little to find his wand from under his pillow and not wake him. For a moment while looking for his wand, I almost thought that I had woken him up but thankfully he just stirred once, then fell asleep again. Taking his wand I kept it as far away as possible so he wouldn't be able to reach it easily. I once thought of tying his hands to the headboard, but then decided against it. It would probably be going a little overboard. Then it was time to wake him up, after all where was the fun if he didn't know he was about to be attacked. I just prayed that he was ticklish, or this would backfire on me. That much I was sure of.

"Malfoy." Merlin, who would have ever thought, that one day I would wake him up with a smile on my face. When he only stirred, I poked him twice and frankly it was fun. Malfoy turned his sleepy eyes on me.

"Granger? What's wrong?" he asked stretching.

"Nothing, it's just that it's my turn now." I said wriggling my fingers in front of his eyes.

"What?" By the time his sleep addled brain registered what I was about to do, I had already started tickling him. One thing is definite that I will never forget the sound of his laughter. It was so carefree and wonderful that I felt bad that I had never heard him laugh before, that probably he'd never had any reason to laugh like this.

He thrashed around the bed, trying to get away from me. I wasn't planning on letting him go. But in the process of stopping me, he grabbed my hands and flipped me on my back. He pinned my hands down and just panted. His face was flushed. This was the second time when I had seen so much colour on his face.

"You will pay for this Granger. I'll make you pay for this." He panted.

"When was the last time you laughed like this?" I could help but ask. I just wanted to know.

He looked at me for a moment before releasing me and fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling for some time before answering.

"I don't know. I don't remember." His voice was hardly a whisper. "I have never laughed like this before, never done something like this, never felt like this."

It was strange how different we were, how different our childhood had been. The only similarity we had, was the fact that we were both single child to our parents. Everything else was different. My mom and dad worked but I could never complain that I didn't get their attention. My childhood was a wonderful time. His was obviously not so. He may have had the luxuries and his parents did love and care about him. But all that his life was built with had crumbled with the final fall of Voldemort. His beliefs had failed him, the very foundation of his thoughts had shifted.

"You have the experience now. So, how was it?"

He turned to look at me, smiling like a fool. "It was awesome." I smiled and got up from the bed.

"Come on, let's get some breakfast. After that I need to study. I won't pass my exams by sitting and laughing with you."

"Okay Granger. But you will still pay." I stopped with my hand on the door knob and turned to find him smirking at me. Though there was a minute difference. It wasn't snobbish, it was playful. Maybe that was why I thought of indulging him. "You are on, Malfoy." I replied returning the smirk.

* * *

><p><strong>I just finished reading the article J.K. Rowling released on Draco and am ecstatic to realise that when I started writing this fanfic, that was exactly how I wanted to show Draco's life as. So all those who've read the article, you will see Draco exactly like that after the war. And I hope that my story will be able to potray Draco's changes after the war as J.K.R wrote in the article. :)<strong>

**This is specially for graciousness, yes that scenario seems very tempting n true who doesn't love snarky Draco. I assure you, he'll make an appearance... soon. ;)**


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

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><p>"You are smiling." Me and Ginny were walking towards our first class on Monday morning.<p>

"Of course I am." I replied smiling brightly at her.

"No Hermione. You are smiling… like really smiling." She said, like that would explain why she was so bothered about me smiling. And maybe it was enough explanation, but I wasn't paying too much attention. I was busy thinking about the last two days. It had been quite refreshing. It was something that I had never felt with either of my two best friends ever.

Even when Malfoy had suddenly dropped a bucket full of water on top of my head when I was too engrossed at reading my next Runes chapter, I had laughed. Obviously I had taken my revenge. He found out about it when he had gone to change for the night. When he first saw that all his clothes were Gryffindor red, the expression on his face was priceless.

"Hermione! You are phasing out too. Something is definitely up and I want to know what." I looked at her, exasperated. She sighed and stopped walking so that she could face me properly. "I don't remember the last time I saw you smile like that. It specially is unnerving because I know that Malfoy is the reason. Do you even realize how strange that is?" She looked so seriously at me saying that that I had no option but to explain.

"It's nothing, really. I…. I was just thinking about the weekend. It is…. strange. For the last week or so things have been different, and in a good way. We are joking, playing together. For the last two days I feel like he is a completely different person, like he is himself." I huffed. It wasn't easy to explain. One had to see him to understand what I was talking about. "You need to see him Gin, like this he's even worth liking." I said resuming our walk.

"I see." Was all she said, like she really did see something. I didn't think she saw my point, but I really didn't ask what she saw.

My words to Ginny seemed perfect. The person that I was seeing these days was definitely not the person I had known for the last seven years. It was nice to spend time with him. In the following two weeks he sat with me when I studied, helped me sometimes. We didn't particularly talk much. But the silence was not uncomfortable. I didn't fail to notice a few things though. We both were relatively relaxed. We were concentrating better in our works and we were smiling a little more.

But there was something else that was happening and I didn't know what to think, or how to feel about it. It was the fact that we were easing up to each other physically. I didn't tense anymore when he entered the room. The casual contacts too were starting to feel normal. I knew it should, considering that we share a bed, but somehow it was fine and yet it was not. I did realize the resistance coming more from my logical side than my emotional side. All through my life, my logical side had been stronger. But enter Draco Malfoy into the equation and it starts tilting the other side.

I even knew the day it started tilting actually. It was ten days after the day I had that talk with Ginny. We still woke up to the same staring, "kiss me" and "let me kiss you". I would say something and he would snipe back. It was like our personal joke now. But that Friday morning was again different.

When I woke up, Malfoy was still sound asleep. I couldn't help smiling at the thought that today our roles had reversed. Today I was staring at him. I didn't know if he even saw anything in me. But I knew what I saw. He looked good; especially when asleep. I could appreciate that now. But what I couldn't appreciate was the small voice inside my head that kept telling me to inch a little forward and kiss him, just for once. It may be a good idea, since he wouldn't know. But I couldn't help holding back either. Rest aside everything, I couldn't forget everything that'd happened between us. His name itself was a very big reminder.

I sighed and sat up. I really didn't know for how long I'd have to go through these conflicting thoughts. At some point one has to triumph over the other. And I didn't know in which scenario I'd not be hurt. If he turned out to be changed, I knew I'll still have the feeling that maybe he was pretending, that it's his survival strategy. He said so himself. Pretending was something like his second nature. If he turned out to be not changed, then I would be stuck with a person I hate, for a lifetime. It was a frustrating thought and I didn't need to be frustrated early in the morning.

I was almost out of the bed, when I was yanked back on it. Within a second we were in our standard position with him hovering over me. I'm not going to deny that it felt nice. It felt normal now. So I genuinely smiled up at him.

"Good morning." I knew the drill. So I was waiting for him to smile at me, wish me morning and ask me to kiss him. But after a few seconds I realized there was no smile, just him staring at me.

"Malfoy?" I was starting to feel uneasy under his scrutiny.

"You were staring at me." It was different from the regular, but I guessed that should be obvious. I woke up before him today. Not to mention that Fridays were 'change strategy' day. So I found my smile back and answered him.

"Of course, I woke up and you were sleeping. So it was my turn at staring." He didn't answer, just dipped his head and kissed me.

For a few seconds, like every time when he had kissed me, I was too stunned to respond. I just lay there feeling his lips slide over mine smoothly and softly.

When he drew back, I took a much needed breath and asked, "What was that for?"

He smiled then, his eyes raking over my face in a way that I felt he was trying to memorize it. Only when our eyes met, did he reply. "Since you were the one staring today, you would have either asked if you could kiss me or asked me to kiss you. Either way it was going to happen. It was inevitable today."

I didn't know what to say, I really didn't. I could prepare for war, know what to do, how to react. But I didn't know anything about living my life with this person. He took my silence as an advantage and started kissing my face, moving down my jaw to my throat. I felt lightheaded. My body was definitely not in sync with my confused brain.

I quickly scrambled from under him and ran to the bathroom. Shutting and locking the door behind me, I leaned against it and took a few deep breaths to slow my racing heart. I still hadn't been able to decide what I wanted to believe. But I couldn't stop my body from reacting either. We were young; it was natural for us to react. Groaning I headed towards the shower. I was in desperate need of it.

After a long shower and dressing up, when I came out Malfoy was still sprawled on the bed. He turned to look at me and I quickly looked away. I was already turning red. He didn't need to see me blushing like that.

"I'm going to eat in the Great Hall." I could hardly look at him, eating with him was simply not possible.

"Have dinner with me tonight." I froze with my hand on the door knob. I took a shaky breath to steel my nerves and turned to look at him.

"We do that anyway, don't we?" I replied. We did, so what was there to ask about. He sat there with his face stoic. One wouldn't know he was nervous apart from his fidgeting hands. I realized I had started noticing these small things about him. I waited but when he still didn't say anything I started getting a little irritated.

"What?" I said in exasperation and then it struck me. "You…. You are asking me…. Oh… umm…" What the hell do you tell your husband when he asks you out for a date. _I did not just think of him as my husband so casually as if it was the most natural thing to do!_

"Okay, I guess." I said after a few seconds. My voice while saying that may have been small, his smile definitely wasn't.

* * *

><p>"Malfoy's asked me out for a date tonight."<p>

Ginny choked on her toast and Susan barely managed to not spit out the pumpkin juice that she was about to gulp. I got up and patted Ginny's back.

"Okay. First things first, Hermione. Never say things like that when someone's eating or drinking." Susan admonished.

"Secondly, what? What do you mean he's asked you out for a date?" Ginny asked putting her half eaten toast back on the plate.

"You know, like taking me out for dinner stuff." I replied flipping through the pages of book I had picked from the library.

"Don't pretend like it's nothing." Ginny admonished.

"So, where's he taking you?" Susan asked inching forward and leaning towards me from across the table. I didn't know she was a gossip girl. "What? It's interesting." She justified to our raised eyebrows.

I smiled despite the nervousness. Life could be at its worst but being with friends was always refreshing.

"I don't know. He just asked me, out of the blue. I don't know if we are going out at all or eating at home."

"Home, huh?" I didn't get a chance to respond to that before Ginny continued.

"So, is it just a date or something else?" Ginny asked wriggling her eyes obscenely. I felt color rise and I swatted her arm.

"Shut up Ginny and you too." I said turning to glare at Susan. Both of them looked at each other and ended up giggling like mad after a few moments.

"Okay Mrs. _Malfoy_, we'll be late for class." She said standing up and bending to whisper in my ears.

"I can't believe I'm joking about this." She said as the three of us exited the Great Hall.

That evening after classes I rushed back to The Cottage. I stood in our walk-in-closet trying to decide what to wear. Since I didn't know where we were going or what we were doing it was difficult to decide. After staring at the clothes for about ten minutes I snapped back. What the hell was I doing trying to do dressing up for Malfoy of all people? I huffed and grabbed the most casual clothes that I had.

I decided to start working on my homework while waiting for him. I was halfway through my Charms essay when the floo flared and he stepped out.

Upon seeing me he smiled. "I'll just change." He said while heading towards our room. I nodded and turned towards my essay though I did not miss his lack of comment on my attire. Ten minutes later when he reappeared at the doorway, he was dressed casually as well. At least as casual as a Malfoy could get and that meant no cloaks and no robes, just a plain blue button down shirt and grey slacks.

"Ready?" I closed my books and stood up. He extended his arm for me to link and I raised my eyebrows. "You want to do things the traditional way?" I asked but slipped my hands into his at the same time.

"Not completely traditional." He replied but did not elaborate. He led me to the door and for a moment I panicked. I never went out to the grounds. Going out there at this time was making me feel really uneasy.

"We are not going anyway near the Manor, I promise." I wouldn't have believed him, I didn't have any reason to, but the way he said those words made me feel…. I don't know exactly how I felt. I cannot describe it. But I did feel a little reassured. So I took his hands and let him lead the way.

We walked through the garden lined by hedges neatly trimmed. It was a well kept garden. If I raised my eyes a little more I could see the Manor looming beyond, so I kept my eyes downcast. Night hadn't fallen yet, but there was a certain chill in the air, a reminder that winter was setting in.

"Why aren't we using the floo?" I wouldn't have to walk through this place then.

"That is because we are apparating and more importantly, I don't want soot on our clothes."

"Why can't we apparate from near the Cottage?" I knew I was probably whining but I'd do anything to avoid the present sight.

Malfoy turned to look at me and picked up his pace a little. "Apparition is not possible inside the grounds." Of course, how stupid of me.

After a minute or two finally the dreaded gate came to our view. I took a deep calming breath feeling relief wash over me.

"Where are we going?" I finally thought I needed to ask that now that we were almost out of the gates.

"Actually I was thinking maybe you could decide." He replied a little unsure, of what though, I'm not sure. I looked at him for a minute, completely flabbergasted. First he asks me out for a date, then he asks me to decide where to go. Really, even I wasn't that dumb about date stuff, though I did not have too much of experience to back my line of thinking.

"We could go to Diagon Alley. There are a few places there, or maybe to Hogsmead." I had never gone to a wizarding restaurant, so I didn't know much about them. But Malfoy turned down my suggestion.

"Not in Diagon Alley. I was thinking, maybe somewhere else."

"Somewhere else? But I don't know any other place where we could go!" I understand it is a good idea to ask your date where she wants to go. But doing that when your date hardly has any knowledge, is probably the stupidest ideas.

"You never went with your parents somewhere?" Thankfully there was no flies nearby or I would have surely caught some of them. This was a jaw dropping moment. But after a few seconds I realized what that would mean. This could be my payback time. I smiled back as normally as possible.

"I know just the place."

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><p><strong>A very Merry Christmas to all my lovely readers!<strong>


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

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><p>"I can't believe you took me there." I couldn't control laughing again at the look of disbelief still etched on his face.<p>

"Well, you did give me the option of choosing the place."

"Yes, but I meant a sophisticated place where we would have some privacy and good food. I definitely did not mean a place where you have to stand in a line and then share a table with complete strangers."

"But you did enjoy the food." He shook his head, but his smile was a dead giveaway. As I walked with him I realized how strange the situation was. I had taken him to a muggle eatery thinking that would be my revenge for all the things he had said about my blood status for all these years. I had not imagined him to behave so normally around so many muggles. He had flinched just once, _almost_ drawn his wand once, jumped up in fright, _once_, all of these only in the first hour. After that he had been surprisingly calm about the entire situation.

I felt him stop walking and turned to look at him to realize we had already reached our cottage. It seemed as if he wanted to say something.

"I've never taken anyone out on a date before." I didn't miss the small flutter in my stomach at his confession, after all which girl doesn't like being a first. _But_ this was Malfoy and I needed to get back to the point. Schooling my features to look nonchalant, I asked, "Am I supposed to be honored?"

There, the smirk was back, though I was starting to realize it was not the same as before. It was just the fact that he smiled less and smirked more.

"I guess you should." I groaned and reached for the door. Night had fallen and at this time of October it was a bit cold in Wiltshire. Though why I try to escape him is sometimes beyond me. The only times I manage to get out of his grasp are the times he's willing to let me go. This time was not one of them though. His arm shot out and blocked my way. He was casually leaning on the door jam.

I huffed and crossed my arms, waiting for him to finish whatever he wanted. I knew I wasn't going in before he was done.

"I had a nice time." I scoffed at his statement.

"Surprising." Considering the place where we ate.

"What do couples do at this point?"

I narrowed my eyes and looked at him trying to discern where this was headed. "What do you mean 'what do couples do'?"

"Exactly what I said. What do you do after taking someone out on a date?"

"Like you don't know." So, maybe it was his first date, but who didn't know how things went. Especially guys, they always know how these kinds of things proceeded.

He shook his head once. "It's not like that. For us, I mean in the pureblood circles, we meet at some kind of gathering, either at our place or somewhere else. That is the reason behind the huge celebrations. It is done with the agenda of creating alliances, political or otherwise. That's how we meet people. Most of the times the marriages are arranged. It is a way of moving up in the society. You want only the best for your child, someone who will bring in power and connections. When we do take out someone on a proper date, it is more like making a betrothal official to the public. Most of the times these occassions too are arranged from beforehand. Hence, the chances of spontaneity is rare."

I frowned at him, still trying to decide if he was trying to pull something on me. He seemed genuinely curious. I have to admit that he got the benefit of doubt too, considering that I did not feel that he was pretending in front of me for some time now.

"So you really don't know how normal people date?"

"I will remind you that I am a normal person." He said looking affronted. I scoffed. His name and normal going into the same sentence was a bit of an oxymoron. But nevertheless I decided to humor him.

"Well, people usually date to know about the other person. It is a good way to check how compatible two people are together. I... Don't know how people behave specifically because I haven't gone to a date before, but I do know that it is good to pay attention to your date, considering you are serious about him or her."

"I paid attention to you. You were better than the weird ones sitting around us anyway."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment to me?" His thoughts on muggles had not improved apparently.

"No, it meant you are less weird than the ones I was made to dine today. Now, continue." Of course, the day he complimented me would possibly be the day when I decide to walk into the Manor of my own accord.

"Well as common curtesy, a guy should accompany the girl home. Apart from all that, I don't know what you want me to say."

"That's it?" He asked looking perplexed.

"Yes. That's it. Did you expect something else?"

"But this is my home too and we are married, so I have to accompany you home. So there must be something else. What happens in the subsequent dates?" I sighed. Really, he still sometimes thought he was so special. How in the world did he brag so much in front of Harry when his knowledge base was so limited.

"It depends, okay? It depends on the kind of people they are, how far they are willing to move into their relation and at what pace, what they feel about each other…." I groaned as I realized what I had just said. Talking about relations and feelings with him was simply awkward and so not necessary at this point. I took a deep breath to calm myself before continuing.

"Look, can we continue this inside?" Leverage, some kind of leverage was what I needed.

"I should at least get a kiss before we go in." He said with a smug face. He and his kisses, not that I minded them much. But I felt that being so casual about kissing and stuff in just a month and a half was strange. I felt like punching him at that point and I probably would have if we had been thirteen still. He didn't know what people do on dates but he's well aware about kissing. So, since punching him was out of question right now, I decided to try and walk past him, push past him if required considering that he had blocked the door with his frame.

"Really? You may have asked me out, but I decided the venue.."

"That is because I wanted discretion which we wouldn't find in any wizarding establishment."

"I paid.." I continued as if he hadn't interrupted, though he did it again.

"Because I know nothing about muggle money."

"And now I am cold from standing out here for the last fifteen minutes. So you and your kisses can go to hell!" I finished finally trying to shove past him. He easily caught my arms, turned us around and pressed my back to the door and invaded my personal space. I was starting to realize that this was becoming a common occurrence. Why and how he managed to corner me like this should have been a matter of deep thinking. But he seemed to have other ideas and thinking was definitely not on the agenda.

"Why didn't you tell me you were cold? I could have remedied that." He said running his nose along my jaw line.

I shut my eyes and dropped my head against the door as a shudder passed my body. Replying was, as I realized, out of question since my throat had dried up the moment he had come too close. Even if I had managed to speak, I doubt I would have been able to hear my voice over my pounding heart.

* * *

><p>"Hey, you are late." I said walking out of the Great Hall to head towards the first class and seeing Ginny walking towards me.<p>

"Pregnancy." She said shrugging and started walking towards the classroom with me.

"Where's Susan? I didn't see her at breakfast either."

"Hospital wing."

"What? Why?"

"Morning sickness."

"Oh." Right, pregnancy. "Hey, how come you don't have that problem?" I asked realizing that Ginny had never complained of such a thing.

"Merlin, Hermione! Please pray that I don't have to. Anyways mum says I'm one of the luckier ones who didn't have to face that." She said.

"Okay, sorry." I replied, laughing at her reaction.

"So now, inquisition." She said grinning at me. I rolled my eyes at her. Why did I think I would get out of it. "How was the date?"

"Good." I replied remembering our meal.

"WHAT! Hermione, did you understand what I asked? I asked, how was your date… with _Malfoy_?" The expression on her face was hilarious.

"Yes Ginny. I heard you. It was good." I said laughing.

"Where did he take you?" she asked eyeing me suspiciously.

"You mean 'where did I take him'?" I was enjoying this conversation. Ginny gaped at me for a few seconds before she stopped walking and faced me properly.

"Okay, you lost me." I grabbed her arm and started walking again. Since I did not fancy getting late for the first class on Monday morning.

"We went down to a muggle eatery." She looked at me and raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. "He didn't want to go down to a wizarding establishment, I don't know why, said he wanted discretion. So I took him to a place I frequented as a kid."

"And he ate there." She asked disbelief evident in her voice.

"He did." I said sitting down at our table and smiling, remembering his face when he first realized where I had taken him.

"Hermione, don't get me wrong but what's going on? I noticed you behaving like this for a past few weeks and it's good to see you happy. Believe me, it is. It's just that the person who is responsible for this smile is the same you hated a month back."

I sighed and busied myself in taking out my books and homework before answering. Because the fact was that even I was confused about that part. It felt strange to have both the feelings at the same time. "I don't know Ginny. It's strange being with him. He's like a completely different person, like someone I can like to be with." I said trying to sort out the confusion in my brain and trying to put them into words but still withholding certain things. Ginny stared at me for a minute before her expression changed to incredulous.

"Oh my God! You slept with him!" she screamed.

"Shhhhh. Please lower your voice. And how in the world did you draw _that_ conclusion?" I said looking around and trying to see if someone had heard. Though why I should be embarrassed about people knowing about me sleeping with a guy who was my husband I had no idea.

"Was it on Friday night?" Ginny asked without even giving my question an ear. I blushed a shade that should be renamed as Weasley.

"It was!" she squealed. "How was your first time?" I blushed harder if possible.

"It was not the first time," She breathed, "and you didn't even tell me."

"I don't kiss and tell Ginny, you know that." I replied trying to regain my composure. I had no idea how she could draw these conclusions just by my various level of blushing.

"Oh come on Hermione. I need to talk to someone. I can't talk to Susan considering that she is my brother's wife and I would rather think the baby drops from the sky than think about the technicalities involved." She visibly shuddered. "You are not going to talk about Harry considering you would like to think that the baby drops from the sky rather than listen to his sexual prowess."

"Ginny!" It was my turn to shudder. I did not need to think about that part of Harry's life, thank you very much. She just laughed.

"So Malfoy it is." She said laughing as if that was the simplest explanation as to why she should know what goes on in my life.

"I am not having this discussion with you and you are not going to tell Harry or Ron about it." I said in the sternest voice I could manage. Thankfully the class quieted down signaling the presence of a teacher. I heaved a sigh of relief, thinking I had managed to duck this time.

"Okay, but this discussion is not over yet." Ginny whispered in my ear. I opened my book thinking the contrary. If I had managed to keep shut in the first round of questioning, she would never manage to wring out anything more in the subsequent ones. The only matter worth worrying was Ginny's uncanny capability of deducing things by people's reactions and I was a terrible liar.

* * *

><p>"Hermione slept with Malfoy."<p>

Susan chocked and I dropped my head on the table with a bang. Thankfully Mrs. Potter had enough sense to remove my plate before I got food all over myself.

"Ginny, I just got my potions from Madame Pomfrey." Susan replied in her most calm voice. "Frankly, I don't fancy starting to throw up again. So can we refrain from discussing Malfoy's….. achievements?"

"Thank you! You are a savior." I said addressing Susan while pulling my lunch towards me. I had never been more pleased with the Hufflepuff than right then.

Ginny made a face at her sister-in-law and returned to her food. For a moment I thought the topic was done, over. But if my luck was ever that good, I don't remember.

"Is Malfoy really that bad in bed that you want to avoid telling us about it?"

"Telling _you_, Ginny. I told you, don't drag me into this." Susan put in without lifting her head from her plate that she was ravishing at an astonishing rate.

I stared at her for a minute thinking she could compete with Ron, before deciding that this was probably a good way to distract Ginny from my sex life. "Really Ginny, you don't get morning sickness, you don't eat like you're eating for an army. Sorry Susan. How come you get all the good things about pregnancy?"

"Not all the good things. I sleep like dead. That was why I was late this morning."

"Good to know that you were sleeping, not doing something else. Wasn't Pomfrey saying one could possibly become quite horny during pregnancy?"

I could have kissed Susan right then except I couldn't help laughing at Ginny. I didn't know hormones could even turn a Hufflepuff into someone who could compete with Slytherins.

"Who said we are not doing it. Actually, Harry makes me so tired that I sleep like a log."

Susan's and my groans were identical. This is also one of the reasons why such laws should not be introduced for people who were still at school. Sex and home life took precedence in matters of importance as well as discussions. Something that I did not like or wish for at the moment. I wanted to concentrate on studying. It's our final year for Merlin's sake!

The lunch passed bickering. While on the way out of the Great Hall, Ginny grabbed my hand, signalling Susan to go ahead. I had to give her determination some credit. She was not about to drop this subject without getting a few details.

"Hermione, don't get me wrong. Jokes apart, I would really like to talk to you. It's not the first time that we'll be sharing things. I am worried about you. I like seeing you smile and it's good to know you and Malfoy are getting along, but I'm still worried. It's not like Harry's paranoia or Ron's grudges. It's a sister's concern. Please Hermione. I know you can't share it with your parents either. You don't have to tell me things in details, I don't need that. But a little bit of assuarance will be nice."

I sighed, reaching out to hold her hand. I knew she was right. We had shared things before. She wasn't just Ron's younger sister to me, but my friend first. She did deserve to know how I was coping with things and so did the other two. If I talked to Ginny, she could back me up when I talked to Harry and Ron next. And maybe, in the process of talking to her, I would find some solutions to a few things that I hadn't been able to sort out yet.

I looked up and gave her a small smile. She was right. This was a good idea.

"Lets meet at my place after school. We can have our dinner here and then go down... If that's not a problem." Maybe she wanted to have her dinner with Harry, she usually did.

"That's all right. Harry won't be home till late. His training's stepping up."

"Great, we can talk then." Finally satisfied with her victory, Ginny dragged me to our next class.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

* * *

><p>I had just come out of my bedroom after changing, when the door opened and Ginny walked in and sat down on the sofa in front of the fire.<p>

"Well, that was quick." I said sitting down beside her.

"Of course. How long did you think it would take me to changed out of my school robes?"

"Not long, but this was super quick." She smiled. I knew she didn't want to delay our conversation, lest I change my mind or find a way out of it.

"So, spill." I took a deep breath, wondering where to start, but it wasn't easy. I couldn't understand what to say first. All of it had been so gradual that now that I thought about it, I couldn't point out that single moment when things started. But then I remembered that first night when he came back drunk.

"You know that weekend, when you and Harry went on the trip?"

"Yeah."

"That was probably the first time things started changing, if I don't count those times when he fed me a sleeping potion."

"When you say changing, do you mean that was the first time?"

"No! No, that was... later. Just don't ask when, I am _not_ saying _that_!"

"Come on Hermione." She said, pouting.

"You can keep bugging me forever Ginny, but I'm not telling you about it."

She sighed as if she was making a huge compromise on the matter. I just shook my head, smiling. At least, she was being her age, even after all that had happened, all that she had lost.

"So, coming back to the topic at hand, was that the time you started trusting him?" While she said it casually, I could tell that she was serious about it.

I turned to look at her sharply. I knew there was a certain amount of trust among us. We were sharing a bed, meals, our free time with each other, and we both had stopped being too cautious like we were at the starting of this. But to hear someone else say it was strange, specially the way Ginny said that I trusted him.

"What makes you think I trust him?" I really needed to know what made her think so. Was it because I had said something unconsciously? Or did it come across by my behaviour these days.

" I know you Hermione. I know you enough to understand that if you are smiling while thinking about him, if you are going on dates with him... and the fact that you have consummated gives me enough reason to believe that." So it was my behaviour. The first two reasons, I could understand and accept but not the last. That needed clarification.

"Ginny we had to consumate, whether today or tomorrow, so how does that make a difference?" Why was it such a big issue, I didn't understand. Though it was a big thing. That was the time when Malfoy had asked to give this relation, a try. But she didn't need to know that. That was between just the two of us.

"How far did you and Ron go?"

"Why... are you bringing that in?" I asked. What did my relation with her brother, have to do with our present topic.

She didn't answer immediately and that irritated me. After a few minutes, she turned around facing me with her back resting on the arm rest. I glanced at her once, showing that I was still waiting for her reply. When she still didn't answer, I too turned around to face her. I had known our talk would not be simple, but I hadn't expected her to analyse all my relations, even the one with her brother, because technically that was the only relation I had been in apart from this.

"Ginny-"

"I wonder why you don't know the answer to it already?" She was still staring at me, like it was an obvious puzzle that I had missed and that further irritated me. She was talking in puzzles and expecting me to be on the same wavelength.

"You've known each other for seven years Hermione." She started when I didn't reply to her question. I didn't think that she needed me to answer that. "You, Ron and Harry, the three of you have always stood together, fought together. You trust them with your life, but you never could form a physical relationship with Ron." When I went to object, she just held up a finger. "But there is someone else, one you have never seen eye to eye, who has humiliated you on more than one occassion and yet today you defend him in front of your friends. You think I didn't notice that you didn't want to speak about him when you came down to Grimmauld Place that Saturday, but I did. I noticed how you avoided his topic the entire day. Then a week later, you are walking around thinking about him. I know for a fact that if you didn't trust him even a little, you wouldn't be like this with him. What I would like to know is, what _did_ he do to gain that trust."

"My relation with Ron is different Ginny. If you trust someone with your life, doesn't mean you are ready to have a relationship with them. If that's the case, then you should also mention Harry, because I trust him with my life too, like you said yourself. Ron and me... Our friendship is different, just the way my friendship with Harry is different. As for my trust in Malfoy, I don't know how far I truly do it. Yes, his behavior towards me has been different. We sit together, have our meals, I do my school work while he reads, we share a bed. But that's it. Yes, I was avoiding the topic that day because things were still strained between us back then. But they are different now Ginny. We... we both are trying to make do with what we have ended up with."

Ginny kept staring at me. It was obvious from her face that whatever she thought, she hadn't said all of it yet, neither did she seem convinced of my words. I decided to wait and hear her out.

Finally she sat back. "Tell me something Hermione, what does he do. As in his work that you said he did."

"I don't know." I hadn't asked him about it, so all I knew was the fact that he and Blaise Zabini were in it together. He had never mentioned it in front of me personally, so I never got the oppurtunity to ask him about it.

"Alright, why didn't he marry a pureblood? We thought about it the first time you received the letter from the Ministry, but we never got an answer."

"I don't know. I haven't asked him about it." Yes, we all had wondered that, I still did. But we hadn't talk about it. We never talked about anything for that matter. We sat together doing our work, or simply sat in silence. We never questioned each other about anything.

"Why does he live separately in a cottage. If he had to move out, then why not away from the Manor grounds, why live so close but not in the Manor?"

I sighed. "I don't know Ginny. I... I never asked."

"Exactly Hermione, why didn't you ask? You are not someone to jump headlong into a situation and not question every aspect of it beforehand. You try finding out about everything before a situation even arises. You question, and question again until you find a satisfactory answer. So why not now?"

She had a point. I turned around to face the fireplace, letting my head fall back and closed my eyes. She was making me face all the questions which I had, surprisingly, swept under the rug. That was not my usual self, but I had done that. Malfoy had raised so many conflicting questions and emotions in me, that finally when we had found some kind of balance, if that could be called so, I had, for the first time in my life, felt reluctant to break that small amount of peace among us. I felt a hand close around mine.

"I like seeing you smile, but I keep thinking how long it's going to last. Every morning when I walk to the school, I pray that it not be the day when he does something and hurt you. If you really find a balance with him, and it's a very big _if_, I want that nothing should be able to move it. It won't be easy getting there, maybe it will take years but don't build it on silence and ignorance about him."

I kept staring at the fire crackling while listening to her, thinking about the things she had forced me to face and consider. The more I thought about it, I realised that I was glad about one thing, that I had talked to Ginny. No, that Ginny had forced me to talk to her. I felt so relieved that someone was aware of my budding relation with Malfoy and was standing with me. All of us, we had numerous reasons to dislike him and that was one reason why I hadn't wanted to share things, because their dislike would always result in biased opinions. But having Ginny beside me, tell me that she supported me in whatever decision I came to, was a huge relief. Not only because that was one person who would try to listen and understand my point of view in all of this, but also for the fact that she could hold her own in front of Harry and Ron. And because she was a part of the Weasley family, who had every reason to hate him.

"Thank you." I said squeezing her hand back. I hadn't known that talking to her would give me such relief.

"For what?"

I shrugged. I didn't think that I needed to elaborate, she would know.

"Anytime. Now, do you want to do the essay on Charms?"

"Is that even supposed to be a question?" I asked, finally finding my smile.

* * *

><p>I guess I had just fallen asleep, when it was broken by some movement beside me on the bed. It had taken long to finish our homework and had left us really tired.<p>

I turned around to find Malfoy slipping under the covers. It was quiet late and I was surprised to find him here. I had thought he would have stayed back at the Cottage and not come here at this hour.

"I just got back from work. Did I wake you?" He asked, getting comfortable when he realised I was looking at him.

"No, I just... I was about to fall asleep."

"Okay, good night." And with that, he turned towards the other side. I lay there, staring at the back of his head, thinking if this was a good time to bombard him with questions. I knew I couldn't possibly ask all of them. If I wanted proper answers, I would have to look out for those times when he would be more amenable. If he had wanted to tell me about himself, he would have started talking without my prompting. So, considering he hadn't done that, I knew I would have to drag those answers out of him and he would only answer if he _felt_ like answering.

I turned on my side to face him properly, wondering if he had fallen asleep while I was still deciding if this was the right time. Finally I decided to ask it out. If he answered, that would be nice. If not, then I would find a time to ask him again. We didn't have any option of running away from each other anyway, did we?

"Malfoy?" I kept my voice low, trying not to startle him, or let him be suspicious and also to check if he had already fallen asleep.

"Hmm." He already seemed to be moving towards the dreamland. Maybe it wasn't the right time and I could postpone it till the morning. Or maybe it was good. If he was sleepy, I hoped he would be less cautious.

"Can I ask you something?" I tried.

"Hmm." So far, so good.

"You said you work, right?"

"Hmm." Was he going to answer all my questions like that?

"What... kind of work do you do?" For a second I thought he would answer again with a 'hmm', but when no answer came for sometime, I thought that maybe he had finally drifted off. I was just about to let it go and turn around when I saw his head turn a little.

"Are you still waiting for an answer?"

What kind of question was that? Of course I was, if I had asked a question, it was obviously with the intention of finding the answer to. I wanted to snap back, but decided against it. Being rude was not going to help. If I wanted to deal with him, the first thing that I would require was patience. So I answered with all the patience I could gather at that point. "Yes."

He slowly turned to stare at the ceiling. "What makes you ask that all of a sudden? Is Potter afraid that I'm up to something again?"

I couldn't detect anything from his voice apart from drowsiness.

"It has nothing to do with Harry. I keep hearing you and Dippy refer to work and just wanted to know about it. If you don't want to say, that's up to you. I know I can't force you." If he wasn't in a mood to talk, then I was not going to waste my time on it. "Good night." I said, turning around and snuggling deeper under the covers. I was on the brink of falling asleep again, when he spoke next.

"I'm trying to make and sell potions. Not like an apothecary, but potions that people will need now, specially after the war. I know of a few that Professor Snape brewed on a regular basis last year."

Potions? That too ones that required a certain amount of knowledge and skill, not to mention expensive and rare ingredients. Moreover, he didn't have a degree of being a Potioneer or a Potions Master to brew and sell these products. Why would he venture into something that, he should be aware of, is not possible. Then again, I had heard that the Malfoy's had a lot of investments in a lot of areas, so money shouldn't be a problem either. They were among the elite of the purebloods.

"Why potions?" I asked, again turning around to face him.

"Why the inquisition?"

"Why don't you want to answer a simple question?" I was starting to lose my patience. After talking to Ginny, I was ready to step away from the comfortable routine that we followed, to try and know about him. But if he returned to his old self every time I asked him something, then we would never be able to move ahead. Years down the line, we'd still be stuck exactly in the same place as we were at present. And if he was so against answering why didn't he just say he didn't want to answer.

"Look, you said you work, so I just wanted to know about it. We are married and I don 't even know what you do. Is it so wrong to ask? It's not like you need the money from this. So why bother trying something that even you should know, is going to be difficult to establish."

"No, I don't need the money, but I need the name."

Is that what he was trying to do? Build up a name for the Malfoys again. That would make sense, but why would he have to work for that? It was a strange concept to think of him working. More surprising was the fact that he was relying on potions for that. The part that he was good in the subject, was not what I was thinking about. What had got my attention, was he was trying it in a field which was easily monitored and handled by the Ministry. I didn't think the Ministry would so easily let him acquire rare potions ingredients. Me and Harry may have kept him out of Azkaban, but a lot of the members of the Wizengamot hadn't done so with ease. It was our word that they had relied on. So permiting him to enter this field, was not going to be that simple.

"Why potions?" I asked again.

He shrugged. "The Ministry needs it, St. Mungo's needs it."

"Yes, they need it. But you need the ingredients and that is strictly supervised by the Ministry at present. Moreover, you need a letter of recommendation from a Potion Master before the Ministry allows you to brew them."

"Why do you think I'm gone for so long everyday." That's what he did, go to a Potion Master?

"You go to a Potion Master?" He gave a humourless laugh to that question.

"Like any Potion Master would give me, an ex-Death Eater a letter of recommendation." It was the first time I had heard such self loathing sentence from him. It was then that I realised why he was avoiding the question. It was a failure and talking about it to me meant acknowledging it in front of me. And that was a blow to the minimum amount of pride that he was holding on to. He may have acknowledged that he didn't know which part of his initial upbringing was true and which was not, but that was different. That was about what had been imparted to him, it wasn't his own self that had been lacking. But in accepting this, it showed that he was considered lesser to others, even if he did have the talent. It was his own wrong judgement that had led him here. But I wasn't about to give up this time just because his pride was hurting. I wanted to know, and I wanted to know all of it.

"Have you approached any Potions Master?" If he was saying this just by assumption, then he was a fool.

"Yes. I wrote a letter to Slughorn once." That was a good choice and Slughorn knew him as well.

"What happened?"

"It came back, unopened."

"He didn't accept your letter." Slughorn's reluctance was probably natural. He had divulged the information about the horcrux to Voldemort. So when someone like Malfoy was approaching him, it was obvious that he did not wish to respond or associate with someone who had been a part of the dark side. So that meant being known was not so good in that case.

"Maybe. Or maybe he just screens my mails."

"What about the Ministry?"

"Do you have to ask that Granger?"

No, I didn't because I knew the Ministry would not give him this opportunity and for a lot of reasons. His name was the foremost, not to mention that his association with the dark would leave a very big doubt in the minds of most. Potions like the ones he was trying, required a lot of things that were rare and could easily be used to create banned or restricted potions. The Ministry would never allow him access to such things so soon after he was acquitted.

"Are you done with your questions?" His answers weren't what I was forced to focus on, it was the blank stare that was directed at the ceiling during our conversation. It had been sometime that I had seen him so emotionless. In these few weeks, he had been expressive, but seeing him like this made me realise how much he had been expressing lately. He didn't talk much, didn't laugh much, didn't react much, but the amount that he did showed that he was, to some extent, comfortable in my presence. Something must have happened or was it my questions that had forced him to pull up his walls once again? Whatever it was, I didn't think this was the right time to keep asking him and expecting him to answer. But there was one thing that I needed to know.

"One last question, why the name?" I didn't expect him to turn towards me, nor did I expect that blank eyes to be directed at me either. But when it did, I realised that he was probably using occlumency.

"Do you want the child that has to come, to be scorned just because he or she is a Malfoy?" I hadn't expected him to answer in that respect. Frankly, in all the inner turmoil, I hadn't even thought a single thing about the child. I had been so focused on my feelings, his reactions and our small growth, that everything concerning the child had left my mind. His concern was logical since the Malfoy name was not at the helm of everything good.

"The child will be a part of me too."

"Yes, but he or she will have my name. And though you will be the mother, they will be associated with every thing the name Malfoy carrries." True, the child would be known as a Malfoy. So, even if people knew that it was a part of me, they would always think first of him because of the name and judge the child because of it.

"Good night Granger." And with that he turned to the other side. I lay there, staring at the back of his head. I kept thinking of what ha had said. I had started this conversation with the intention of finding out about his work. I hadn't expected to get a glimpse into the reason. For someone, who had always come off as being selfish, this was surprising. I liked that he was thinking about things that far, but he had really left me stunned.

I turned on my back, staring at the ceiling thinking why was it that I was missing so many important things. Why hadn't the same thought crossed my mind? He was dealing with the Ministry to set up something when he knew that the chances of getting permission was almost nil. We may have kept him out of imprisonment, but he was still confined in his choices. And in the present scenario, it would be a very difficult task for him to prove himself. It was only marginally better than Azkaban. He wasn't jailed, that was it. I had thought that being free would mean he had a second chance at life. Today, being a part of his life, had made me see the truth. Just keeping him out was not giving him a second chance. On the contrary, this was probably more frustrating. He could try, but he would always fail because there were people who would never allow him to succeed. This was not what I had in mind when I had spoken at his trial. When I said he deserved a second chance, I had meant it and I would see to it that he got that chance.

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><p><strong>Thank you everybody for your lovely reviews. I love waking up and reading such wonderful things. DaisyJenkins, don't worry, I am not going to kill them :) <strong>


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